All-Star Hairgate 2015 - Mom Upset Daughter Is Off The Team Because She Wont Straighten Hair For Competitions

[Cheer0825]

I still don't get the issue with straightening hair. I have curly hair, yet I will straighten, curl, tease, braid, poof or do whatever I'm asked when I'm in uniform.



It's hair. You'll live if it's straight.

Maybe its because I'm young and everything is big deal to me now but my hair has aways been a big part of my identity. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my natural hair might no be that bad and for me to realize that I had to accept who I was and stop trying to be what I'm not. My hair has always been a symbol of that struggle for me its one of the most noticeble ways for me that just screams "IM DIFFERENT" for better or worse.

 

[Official OWECheer]

On my facebook page it shows as the number one top trending search. :/

The top comments are giving me hope. People seem to get it.

 

[Cheer0825]

You are entitled to your opinion. However, this is a performance sport. Uniformity is necessary on some level. If you don't think that hair should be a part of that equation, that's okay, just find another gym (which you did)-- but don't cry to every news station in your vicinity just because you don't like the rules. You handled your situation way better than this mom did.

Some parents don't want their kid in certain makeup or a crop top. If their program requires it, they leave and find a program that fits their tastes instead of going on a media blitz.

I guess thats true maybe its just the fact that I've always been taught that cheerleading is a sport first and peformance really last.

The crop thing seems different to me, not really telling someone to change anything about themselves but again I'm still young and hair has always been a big thing for me (literally).

 

[SL&AM]

Maybe its because I'm young and everything is big deal to me now but my hair has aways been a big part of my identity. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my natural hair might no be that bad and for me to realize that I had to accept who I was and stop trying to be what I'm not. My hair has always been a symbol of that struggle for me its one of the most noticeble ways for me that just screams "IM DIFFERENT" for better or worse.

Trust me, I get it. Having to start my childhood (from the time I can remember it) and subsequently entering school without any hair and facing that kinda of torment---hair IS a big deal to me. As an adult, it's still a bigger deal to me than it should be. What I can't relate to is the feeling of difference though---I didn't do AS cheer, but I did rec. While most of the kids could use soft curlers or heat curlers, I had to use perm rods because my hair never curled. Curlformers make my CP's hair look gorgeous, but my hair? It just falls out straight. As a dancer, I had to use fake hair to achieve the desired look at times and at others tease and curl my hair to the clouds of Jesus. I never felt that it made me different though, which is where I can't relate.

 

[Mndl]

It was on the 4pm news here and I'm in NJ, I had to mute it after a minute because I just can't with it any longer. I wouldn't be surprised to see it on GMA tomorrow-ugh. Also is she really claiming her daughter is bi-racial because she's 1/4 Mexican? Seriously?

 

[GreatWhite92]

I just keep having flashbacks of my mom putting sponge rollers into my hair when I was little and complaining. Every time I complained she'd say "if you don't want to sit here and have me tug on your hair for 2 hours then you won't cheer next year." That shut me up real fast and thus my straight hair was pulled into tiny ringlets 7 times a year. No complaining from this family. You either get with the program or you don't.

 

[SL&AM]

It was on the 4pm news here and I'm in NJ, I had to mute it after a minute because I just can't with it any longer. I wouldn't be surprised to see it on GMA tomorrow-ugh. Also is she really claiming her daughter is bi-racial because she's 1/4 Mexican? Seriously?

I expect it to be on The View tomorrow.

 

[coach12]

ok, what's next.....i can just hear it now.....well my daughter can't really wear that uni. the color does nothing for her.

 

[Cheer0825]

Trust me, I get it. Having to start my childhood (from the time I can remember it) and subsequently entering school without any hair and facing that kinda of torment---hair IS a big deal to me. As an adult, it's still a bigger deal to me than it should be. What I can't relate to is the feeling of difference though---I didn't do AS cheer, but I did rec. While most of the kids could use soft curlers or heat curlers, I had to use perm rods because my hair never curled. Curlformers make my CP's hair look gorgeous, but my hair? It just falls out straight. As a dancer, I had to use fake hair to achieve the desired look at times and at others tease and curl my hair to the clouds of Jesus. I never felt that it made me different though, which is where I can't relate.

I think its just something that I've conditioned myself to because I live in a predominately white town and I'm the one girl with dark skin and funky hair. Cheer was always a place that I felt safe, like I "belonged" (that sounds so sappy ugh) but then it came around time for competition season and I was different again.

 

[cheer25mom]

I think its just something that ive condition myself to because I live in a predominately white town and I'm the one girl with dark skin and funky hair. Cheer was always a place that I felt safe, like I "belonged" (that sounds so sappy ugh) but then it came around time for competition season and I was different again.

Honestly, everyone feels this at some point or another over something in their life. It's normal, and not unique to you. We all think at the time that we are the only ones, and it's teenage angst at its best.


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[SL&AM]

Honestly, everyone feels this at some point or another over something in their life. It's normal, and not unique to you. We all think at the time that we are the only ones, and it's teenage angst at its best.


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Not to minimize your feelings @Cheer0825 but she is exactly right. No one is immune from this---no one and it comes with adolescence. The good thing is, you grow out of it and by adulthood you just don't care anymore. Unfortunately, there will always be the few who want to gain fame and notoriety---this mom is using the race/discrimination card for just that purpose.

 

[Cheer0825]

Honestly, everyone feels this at some point or another over something in their life. It's normal, and not unique to you. We all think at the time that we are the only ones, and it's teenage angst at its best.


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Okay good thought I was a weirdo except less angsty and more extremely awkward. Small case of special snowflake syndrome

 

[Cheer Mom x3]

I haven't commented on any of this, and rarely comment on anything. However I will say, we have been at WE for 6 years. My middle daughter somehow always ends up on a team requiring curls. She has about 100 strands of hair total ;) it is super fine and thin. She sleeps in curl formers with a can of freeze it to "cement" her hair as she says. By the time she takes the floor it is straight/semi wavy again. In all our six years not one single coach, owner, anyone as ever said a word to me about it. I TRY and that is all they have ever cared about. They know she is a team player, we do everything we can to look the part, and when that child goes out there with hair "semi wavy, not curly" it is no big deal. We do not complain, we have a positive attitude, and once again we TRY. That is all they have ever asked. On another note. I happened to witness one of this moms meltdowns on a Sunday, when their location was doing a performance at the location we are at. She was yelling, using vulgar language and making a scene in front people in the lobby area. Kids of all ages, including my 6 and 9 year old and several of our Y3 kids walking by were in her presence. The biggest thing I have taken from this whole issue is that I truly appreciate the way WE has handled this entire situation. They got the negativity away from the kids, and that is ultimately all that matters.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I think its just something that ive condition myself to because I live in a predominately white town and I'm the one girl with dark skin and funky hair. Cheer was always a place that I felt safe, like I "belonged" (that sounds so sappy ugh) but then it came around time for competition season and I was different again.

I get you. My hair is natural. As black girls it is really easy for us to feel like outsiders with regards to our hair. But this mom's daughter wasn't asked to leave because of her hair, it's because she was being loud and belligerent.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I think its just something that ive condition myself to because I live in a predominately white town and I'm the one girl with dark skin and funky hair. Cheer was always a place that I felt safe, like I "belonged" (that sounds so sappy ugh) but then it came around time for competition season and I was different again.

I get you. My hair is natural. As black girls it is really easy for us to feel like outsiders with regards to our hair. But this mom's daughter wasn't asked to leave because of her hair, it's because she was being loud and belligerent.