Heartbroken

[lprice722]

My daughter's been cheering all-star 9 years and school cheer since 7th grade not to mention all the Pop Warner previously to that. She has been at a gym that has been fortunate enough to win multiple national and state championships including NCA and Cheersport. At the beginning of tryouts/evals last week she told me she didn't want to cheer all stars anymore. The only reasoning she would give me is it isn't fun anymore. I don't understand and this really saddened me. Should I let her be and just cheer school (she's been on varsity since 9th grade) and is now a senior or should I encourage her to continue all stars.

 

[quitthedrama]

Burnout in this sport is a very real thing, and she well may be at the point where it is not fun anymore. There is no off time and practices and competitions can interfere with many school activities. She may just want to enjoy her summer and senior year. I would encourage her to seriously consider her decision since it is easy to forget all of the great things about competition season when it several months away - but other than that, let her decide what she wants and accept whatever decision she makes.
If she changes her mind later this summer or even in the fall, she can always go back - maybe not on the team she was on, but there are always other gyms/teams looking for athletes mid season.

 

[Pebbles49]

My daughter's been cheering all-star 9 years and school cheer since 7th grade not to mention all the Pop Warner previously to that. She has been at a gym that has been fortunate enough to win multiple national and state championships including NCA and Cheersport. At the beginning of tryouts/evals last week she told me she didn't want to cheer all stars anymore. The only reasoning she would give me is it isn't fun anymore. I don't understand and this really saddened me. Should I let her be and just cheer school (she's been on varsity since 9th grade) and is now a senior or should I encourage her to continue all stars.

You know, it seems your daughter has been doing this 1 activity for too long and maybe she is just bored and need to experience new things... Hey, why force her to do something and in reality can you really make her do it, nope! Allow her to find a different sport, after all, she will have her whole adult life to be force to do something she does not want to do, like get a job, work and pay bills, god forbid taxes too! Jmo

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I've had kids tell me that cheer just "feels like a job."

When it feels like that, you need to take a break.

Sometimes the break is for a season. Sometimes it's permanent.

What I CAN tell you is that pushing or forcing the issue usually has the opposite effect.

I'm not saying you are currently being pushy, but parents can push without even realizing it.

 

[Keep_Believing]

@lprice722 I can relate. My oldest CP is going into 9th grade and just decided to take a break from all star cheer. She is going to focus on school cheer, but is staying in a tumble class to keep up her skills. She knows if she misses it she can return next season. I was sad too. I will say my pocket book is enjoying it.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

When kids hit 9th grade, I think they also start to see a lot of what they may be missing out on socially.

*Homecoming? Nope. We have practice.
*Winter formal? That's Cheersport weekend.
*Spring fling/prom? Nope. Worlds.
*Mall trip? Practice.
*Want to date me? You can only do that on Wednesdays and Fridays.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do this stuff. You will only be in high school for a short amount of time.

Also, sometimes kids just want to RELAX.

Some cheer kids don't remember what it's like to have a DAY OF NOTHING on which they can come home from school, do homework, and do nothing because they've been cheering competitively since they were 5.

 

[Keep_Believing]

@oncecoolcoachnowmom You are right. My oldest CP even made a list: drama club/be in a play, debate club, Student Council, run a 5K, hang out at the mall with friends, birthday parties, sleep in on weekends, and more! Her list is long! I am curious if she will end up missing it.

 

[KDCheerMom]

Senior year is a special year of high school. Many athletes leave their sport of choice so they can enjoy their final HS hurrah especially if they have no intention of pursuing in college. Seems like respecting her decision is the right thing at her age. Good luck

 

[Twinklestars]

My oldest decided not to do school cheer for her senior year. We switched schools in the middle of her sophomore year. She cheered her junior year. The new school has so much more to offer and she wants to be able to be involved in things in which cheer prevented her involvement.

Was I disappointed? A little bit, but ultimately, it is her choice. She didn't like all the girls on the team and got frustrated with lack of work ethics and unwillingness to try new things.

She still has dance and is doing a community play this summer. She has plans for things for next year, including getting a job!

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I have been thinking about this in another context. We have family friends whose daughter is quitting pageants this year at 13 after having done them since age 4. Daughter cited the same reasons as some kids do for quitting cheer.

Mom is not happy. She's doing a lot of the "Please just think about it and do one more." and "If you do one more season of pageants, we can go to __________." and "We just bought this dress so you need to do at least 2."

I see that a lot of wanting her kid to continue with pageants is rooted in HER IDENTITY as a parent. Mom has made vacations out of pageant weekends for YEARS. All of mom's friends are part of the pageant community. If there are no more pageants, her identity is not a pageant mom.

I wonder how many Suzie's Moms encourage their kids to keep going with cheer because their own identities are rooted in being XYZ Elite moms, Level 5 moms, etc? Or whose main social outlet is the parent area in the gym?

i'm not saying that is the case at all for the OP, but it's something to think about when you find your kid wanting to quit a time-consuming activity.

 

[luv2cheer92]

My senior year of high school I decided to stop playing soccer, which I had been playing since I could stand up, so I could focus more on cheer/school. I could tell my parents were upset with my decision since soccer is pretty much all they have ever done, both themselves and with my two older brothers. But, the last thing I would have wanted from them would have been to try and talk me into playing "just one more season". It was an extremely hard decision for me to make and if I would have had the pressure from them it would have been even more difficult. They were very supportive of my decision and not once did they question it to me, which I really appreciated. She's old enough to make this decision, she may decide to change it, but I feel like pressuring her into doing it isn't the right way to go.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

You can also look at this as an opportunity for your child to add some activities that may benefit her college applications down the road.

Cheer is great but in terms of activities, your resume of activities needs to involve more than just cheer, cheer, and more cheer.

Some kids are good at balancing a play, Honor Society, Key Club, Mock Trial, etc. and cheer. Some kids can't.

Look at this as an opportunity to (for example) beef up her applications by adding some activities or classes that she could not take otherwise.

 

[lprice722]

You know, it seems your daughter has been doing this 1 activity for too long and maybe she is just bored and need to experience new things... Hey, why force her to do something and in reality can you really make her do it, nope! Allow her to find a different sport, after all, she will have her whole adult life to be force to do something she does not want to do, like get a job, work and pay bills, god forbid taxes too! Jmo

She runs track and high jump in the spring and cross country in the fall. She's USASF certified and coaches tumbling. I would never force her buy I'm wondering how much a new boy is playing into this decision.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

^^^^It could be the boy. It could not be.

It also could be that the boy has given her the "push" to do what she has wanted to do for quite some time (quit.)

Ex: Sometimes, I want to say no to something, but talking it over with someone else confirms that.

Generally speaking, a person can't really make you quit something you are really interested in.

Either way, you have to respect her decision (regardless of the motivation) and see what happens. She could be done for good. She could be back next season. Who knows? You have to let it play out.

 

[lprice722]

I also wonder if she thought it through. She's very active in NHS, BETA CLUB, Dual enrollment at the college and I know time is an issue. I hope she understands this is her last year to cheer all stars, no more Vegas, Dallas, Atlanta, TN. Orlando Etc. I just don't want her to regret missing out.