All-Star Help My 6 Year Old Is Afraid To Fly

[TheVipersMom]

I'm confused...so the mini team must be a mini 1?? Since she wants to tumble on Y2?? If she can't do the flying on a youth 2, pump her up to be a leader on her mini team. She is the only one who can get over the fear, there is nothing you can do to help her. Have you put her in flying privates to give her confidence??

Yes mini is a level 1 we only have like 2 girls mini age who have a solid BHS. Unless there is newer girls I don't know about. She likes the mini team because it's with her friends from last year she just wants to be able to do a BhS and she cannot with mini's. She likes the youth for the tumbling and their dance. She also likes it for reasons that are just irrelevant- like uniform is different, get to travel to out of state competitions, she gets to wear make up and she said she likes that she has older friends! Lol

She just told me she was sorry for crying and she said she won't cry even if she is scared on Thursday she just doesn't want to quit the team!

 

[CheerMomNTx]

I dealt with this last year on the team I assistant coach for. The little girl was so nervous about flying she was in the bathroom throwing up. She was 7 so I had to put it into little kid terms. I asked her what her most valuable toy was and she told me her stuffed bear. I explained how she takes such good care of the bear, watches it, doesnt let it fall on the dirty ground etc. Then I told her that she was her stunt groups "teddy bear". They would take care of her, just as much as she loved her bear. I know it sounds dorky but for a 7 year old the words trustworthy probably doesnt have alot of meaning. It worked! Good luck with your daughter

This is cute and funny but with my grown mini, she would have probably looked at you crazy and thought to herself...seriously!! LOL

 

[oldcheermom]

If she were my child, I'd keep her on the mini team and spend some of that extra money on flying privates. Hopefully, the privates would boost her confidence and she'd be ready to fly next year. She's only six years old and has many cheering years ahead of her.

 

[CheerMomNTx]

Yes mini is a level 1 we only have like 2 girls mini age who have a solid BHS. Unless there is newer girls I don't know about. She likes the mini team because it's with her friends from last year she just wants to be able to do a BhS and she cannot with mini's. She likes the youth for the tumbling and their dance. She also likes it for reasons that are just irrelevant- like uniform is different, get to travel to out of state competitions, she gets to wear make up and she said she likes that she has older friends! Lol

She just told me she was sorry for crying and she said she won't cry even if she is scared on Thursday she just doesn't want to quit the team!

If you can get her in privates, then start there. As soon as my little one starts doing more difficult stunting, I will start putting her in flying privates not just for the skill but for the confidence. Good luck and keep us posted on how things go.

 

[TheVipersMom]

If you can get her in privates, then start there. As soon as my little one starts doing more difficult stunting, I will start putting her in flying privates not just for the skill but for the confidence. Good luck and keep us posted on how things go.

Thank you so much, I feel so
Bad for posting this because I don't want one to think I'm forcing her. She would be devastated if I told her she couldn't do youth this season. I don't want to let her down but it's not fair if she doesn't get it together!
So thank you I appreciate it and I will let you know!!

 

[Mamarazzi]

Forgive me if I freaked - I just would never want an athlete to be forced into anything that they don't choose. And the part about "she never wanted to fly on tiny or mini last year plus she's too tall" is what I picked up on...
I agree with @CheerMomNTx that she is the one who has to work through it. Regardless what she might want, doing fly privates, maybe individuals for tumbling, and holding off on a youth team until she is more confidant might be the way to go. The last thing you want is for her to get to comp and freeze even if she's gotten over her fear in practice. Then, you have to deal with that one insensitive kid who blames her if her stunt falls. And she really won't want to do it again.

 

[TheVipersMom]

Forgive me if I freaked - I just would never want an athlete to be forced into anything that they don't choose. And the part about "she never wanted to fly on tiny or mini last year plus she's too tall" is what I picked up on...
I agree with @CheerMomNTx that she is the one who has to work through it. Regardless what she might want, doing fly privates, maybe individuals for tumbling, and holding off on a youth team until she is more confidant might be the way to go. The last thing you want is for her to get to comp and freeze even if she's gotten over her fear in practice. Then, you have to deal with that one insensitive kid who blames her if her stunt falls. And she really won't want to do it again.

Yea I was like whoa this is not what I meant but yes I definitely understand how it may have came across. I even asked her a little bit ago- are you saying you want to fly only because you won't to be on youth?- or do you want to be on youth and not fly?-
She said "no I want to fly!"

So privates is what I will try after seeing what happens after next practice! If it doesn't get better then I'll just have to explain to her she just isn't ready for that team yet. Although , it will hurt her feelings I have to do what's best for her!

 

[INeverStopCheering]

She just told me she was sorry for crying and she said she won't cry even if she is scared on Thursday she just doesn't want to quit the team!

In a cheer-related lesson: Make sure to tell her that it's ok to cry when you're hurt or upset, and that nobody is mad at her because she got scared or cried. I hate to hear parents tell their kid "big girls don't cry" or "crying is for babies" because what that translates into is "it's not OK to feel sad or scared or angry." This is a great opportunity to teach her about goal setting and teamwork. Best of luck to her!

 

[Aussiekat]

It sounds like you have a pretty smart cp, flying isn't natural or a normal feeling for most of us! I wanted to cry the first time I went up, and when I had to sit out for six weeks because of an injury I started shaking like crazy the first time I went up again (okay, my base is over 6 foot, so imagine that in extension, ugh). It's totally okay for her to be scared, and it might even be a good thing because she will be a "smart" flyer and really think her skills through before pulling them - it's what my old coach used to say to make me feel better about my mental blocks. (Not trying to disparage any cps or flyers who have the confidence to pull without thinking!)

Some things that can help:
- having a tall backspot who grips her leg up high and tight so she feels safer if her legs don't lock out
- practice loading in a few times, then going up to prep and keeping her up there for a bit so she can look around and find spots that are at her eye level - that way when she loads in she can find a familiar spot and concentrate keeping her eyes on it so she won't look down and get scared
- eyes up! all the time! always!
- make sure she knows what she's doing before she goes up, if it's just a prep, then do a prep and bring her down, don't let them push her up to extension - and loud, clear counting and calls
- this might hurt your neck, but give her shoulder rides! You're taller than her bases, so walking around with her on your shoulders will show her that when she's on them, she's not up very high. Or get her to ride around on her dad or a taller relative. If you she's comfortable get them to swoop and dip and hold her legs tight while her arms are up in a hi-V. It's loads of fun and she'll feel safe with family and it all helps to get her used to being up high and the dropping feeling in your stomach when you first learn to cradle.

I've never based because I'm tiny, but I've always been a slightly terrified flyer when it comes to new skills or new bases. All these things helped me, and I learnt to love flying even when I'm scared. Best of luck and I hope it all works out.

 

[srt418]

I had a 6 year old on our youth 1 team. Super tiny, but she was muscular. It was the perfect fit because she had relatively good body control for a first year cheerleader. We put her up in the hair, and she was terrified as well.

So we had a coach stand right in front of her while she was flying for a while until she was truly convinced that if she fell, her bases would catch her. When they did fall, we would point out very carefully that her bases caught her very well. When she was scared at how high she was, we told her to look straight at us, not at how high she was.

She ended up flying beautifully by the first competition. The second competition, we had to change bases the night before. She still did well because we took baby steps with her so she could be confident in her skills and her bases skills.

It's just like tumbling. It's not worth it to make them "throw it" or fly by themselves if they're freaking out. It will only lead to tears or injuries. However, if a coach has enough patience to take baby steps with the child and if the child agrees to take baby steps, she will be able to do it.

 

[cheermomfootball]

My daughter was put up to fly quite a few times, and every time she tried it, and asked to be put back on the ground. She preferred to be responsible for the flyer's well being instead, and I simply just told the coach to kindly not have her fly. If she ever changed her mind and became interested, she was instructed to verbalize it to her coach or myself. She never did, and it was never discussed again. To this day, she still says that she was happy no one forced her to fly. Kids are pretty good about their comfort levels, and if they are too scared or nervous, it could be risky for them as they will be harder to teach and not be confident when there are no coaches around to catch them. I say let her figure it out in her own time

 

[cheergoogle]

My CP started cheer at 3. She has always been a flyer. She never had an issue on the Tiny team since it was only knee/thigh stands. Her first year on Mini 1 when she was 5 she cried when they put her in a prep. She said it was too high. The coaches were great with her. They never gave up on her. Last year on Mini 2 my daughter LOVED extension and tosses. She even did a one legged half up to prep. The coaches always love to remind her that she cried so much the season before and look at her now. All it took was some compassion and practice to make her feel comfortable. I wouldn't be too quick to pull her from Youth 2 until she has a few more opportunities to try flying.

 

[TheVipersMom]

My CP started cheer at 3. She has always been a flyer. She never had an issue on the Tiny team since it was only knee/thigh stands. Her first year on Mini 1 when she was 5 she cried when they put her in a prep. She said it was too high. The coaches were great with her. They never gave up on her. Last year on Mini 2 my daughter LOVED extension and tosses. She even did a one legged half up to prep. The coaches always love to remind her that she cried so much the season before and look at her now. All it took was some compassion and practice to make her feel comfortable. I wouldn't be too quick to pull her from Youth 2 until she has a few more opportunities to try flying.

I love that!! Thank you I feel so bad for her!
Im really happy to hear that not everyone is just happy and ok with it at first! I'm glad your daughter was able to pull thru! I'm going to give her some time and hopefully she can overcome this and it will show her that she can do anything!

 

[coach.elle]

I in no way think that you are forcing your daughter to do anything she doesn't want to do. The coaches put her on youth 2 to fly, not you... but here was my experience with a girl just last week:

We needed one more top on youth/junior 2 so we were trying lots of girls flying. This girl was 6 years old. We went through load ins, and then told her to stand up now into an elevator, and she looked at me and said "no, thats okay". We asked if she was sure, and she just kept saying that she didn't want to go up because it was scary. She wasn't small for her size, she was just 6. So fine, on to the next one. She was perfectly happy basing on mini 1 the rest of the time with girls her own age.

So then her mother calls, complaining that her daughter is the best thing since sliced bread and she needs to be on level 2. We said she didn't get placed on that team because she was scared of flying, and her mother wasn't havin it. So we tried her again, and she would do it this time, but looking down the whole time, grabbing for coaches.

My point is, if you make a child fly who is scared, her mind may be willing to do it, but not her body. And that can be dangerous.

 

[TheVipersMom]

I love all the comments and posts that everyone has brought up! Thanks!!!

Anything else or any others ideas or what not let me know because I feel better after reading feedback!

Thanks again everyone!!