Just Some General Advice I Suppose

[cheermommy0729]

My daughter is almost 8. This year upcoming will be her 4th year competing. She loves it, but is now at an age where she is realizing certain things. She is in OT for low muscle tone, low flexibilty, and her feet turn in something terrible. She was also just started on ADHD meds. All of this make for a stressful season and off season as she now wants to move up but is struggling with the skills in a huge way. I feel horrible for her, I listen to her cry, and honestly, I sometimes just want to pull her out and say "no more" but I know she'd be crushed. She does have alot of poise and is not afraid at all to be up in front of a crowd, she helped the rest of her school class for their Christmas program get over some stage fright, she is doing the school talent show on her own, and I know 90% of that confidence is from cheer. I'm just looking for some insight from other parents as to what I can do to help her reach her goals.

 

[aggie1983]

Don't let the lack of response bother you, when I first read your post I felt in no way capable of properly responding to your situation. (Frankly, I still don't.) But regarding one issue you've raised - there was a boy at our gym for 2 years that was on ADHD meds. I strongly feel the gym was very helpful to him. He needed that outlet for his energy and the physical discipline of working on the routines. He started at the same age your cp is now. (He is no longer at the gym for issues other than his ADHD.) But he did not have the physical issues your cp is dealing with. And I presume you have informed the gym of both her physical issues and her ADHD. The coaches need to know so that they can respond appropriately to your cp should you decide to keep her in cheer. Best of luck in whatever you decide is the best course for your baby.

 

[Fameous MOM]

I would say let her keep practicing! I think as along as she is happy then keep going. Maybe talk to her and let her know that it make take her longet to achieve goals than others but the end result will be the same. Things can only get better. I think as far as ADHD that cheer is a great outlet. Structure, discipline and physical activity keep an active child busy! Maybe talk to the OT and see if they have any recomendations that may help her progress. Good luck!

 

[Goosepatrick]

As a parent, it's hard to watch your child not achieve their goals at the pace they wish they did or even at the pace that maybe their friends are. But 8 is still very young. Most girls don't come into their own body, muscle, etc until they are closer to 10. The ADHD can be an asset. We often think that ADHD means that one cannot concentrate. In fact a common characteristic for people with ADHD is that can be overly focused and drive deep into one and only specific subject, but they love it and it excites them. (BTW, I'm a 45 year old woman who has managed ADHD for 35 years :). Cheer is a great focus and outlet for her.
Support, encourage and be there for her. Provide the opportunities you can to help her achieve her goals, but help her set realistic goals and have the coaches and OT help with what those should be. Help her achieve her own goals, not those goals of those around her. Having small achievable goals will give her the sense of confidence that she did it. It won't be the last time in her life where she will struggle and need to learn how to manage it. At this at this point in her life she has you to help her and lean on while she learns how to manage these struggles.
Big Hugs! Keep us posted.

 

[cheermommy0729]

Thank you. I appreciate the responses. It's hard to see your child struggle. I appreciate the advice and for now plan to keep her in until she tells me she is done. We try and do everything extra we can get our hands on, open gyms, clinics, privates etc. She would live there if I would let her.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Thank you. I appreciate the responses. It's hard to see your child struggle. I appreciate the advice and for now plan to keep her in until she tells me she is done. We try and do everything extra we can get our hands on, open gyms, clinics, privates etc. She would live there if I would let her.

Honey, I think all our cp's would! I know this must be tough for both of you, but the one thing that I have told my kids from a young age is that God makes us exactly the way he wants us, so to be upset with what and who we are is to say that He is wrong (Lady Gaga stole this whole thing from me, but whatever...) Point is, whether you put it in spiritual terms or not, we were all made exactly the way WE are supposed to be. Sometimes that means a different foot shape, sometimes it means a darker skin color from our parents, sometimes it means not having, or being able to use, one or more body parts at all. As long as it gives her joy, stick with it! I don't see anything wrong with letting her know that if she loves cheer, regardless of skill level, then she can keep doing it, but if there are tears after every practice and pouting about how someone else got their skill before her, then she needs to quit. Perspective.
Maybe the gift to her is in her taking more time to master some skills, thereby giving her more maturity when she gets to a higher-level team. And maybe the gift to you is in teaching her that she's doing great, no matter how long it takes!

 

[cheermommaRN]

I would say let her keep practicing! I think as along as she is happy then keep going. Maybe talk to her and let her know that it make take her longet to achieve goals than others but the end result will be the same. Things can only get better. I think as far as ADHD that cheer is a great outlet. Structure, discipline and physical activity keep an active child busy! Maybe talk to the OT and see if they have any recomendations that may help her progress. Good luck!

This is what I always tell my cp. We don't do a lot of privates so she hasn't progressed as fast as some of her friends, during tryouts she realized that some of them won't be together next year and she got upset they she didn't have her tuck. I explained to her that someday they will all be on a level 5 team, it just may take some of them longer to get there.
@Goosepatrick gave some great advice :)

 

[Aussiekat]

I have ADD and I find lots of life a struggle even with meds. It can get very frustrating not hitting a stunt not because you can't physically do it but our heads work a little different to others. I'm lucky that I'm an adult, have a very close relationship with my base (he's one of the few who know about my ADD on my team) and I have learnt how to talk about living with ADD and finding different ways to approach things. Sometimes I get stuff before other flyers, sometimes it takes me forever and I want to cry and quit. Maybe talk to your doctor about how to best explain the condition to your cp's coach. ADD and ADHD can be so different from person to person and having the coach know the best methods to help your cp will help them as well. I think a holistic approach is always the best because no one wants to be frustrated or be held back (both athletes, coaches and parents) because they don't know the whole story. And if it doesn't work out, maybe it's okay to look for other options. I had to stop doing a lot of things as a kid because I just couldn't get it together and failing constantly or making slow progress made me resent my condition and hate the world (esp as a teenager!). But the most important thing for me was discovering how my head works and knowing that having to ask for help or be taught the same thing in several different ways isn't a bad thing, or mean your stupid. It sounds like you've got your cp's best interests at heart and as long as she's happy at the gym, let her spend as much time as she can there! She's probably figuring out what instructions work for her and what doesn't make sense, even if she's not conscious it. I wish you the bet of luck and please PM me if you want to ask any questions.

Sorry for the long post but it's something so personal to me and I hate to see other people struggling with the things I had to go through myself!