High School Little advice... Daughter didn't make the team

[Cheerdad_74]

Hello.. Cheer dad here... My daughter recently missed the Jr High team after tryouts... She's in 5th grade going into 6th. My wife and I have a meeting with the coach and principal, as we feel like she should have made it.... We are in a very small town where everyone knows everybody... The judges were supposed to be from out of town.. However our complaint is that the scores are not shown to us... Our daughter was put into a group, where she was the only one that knew the cheer and we feel like her group may have drug her down.... She is a level 3 gymnist, and has 2 years in Pop Warner cheer where their team came in second at districts, so it's not her first rodeo. Any advice for this meeting is much appreciated, as we feel she didn't get a fair shake and other girls not as good or never having cheered before made the team. Thanks

 

[Keep_Believing]

My oldest daughter didn't make Varsity. She had jumps to standing tucks, specialty to layouts, and a running full. She had been cheering since she was 6 years old, had won NCA All Star Nationals on a level 4 all star cheer team and finals at Summit. Girls made it who couldn't do a back handspring and had no cheer experience. My daughter was an honor roll student and had never been in trouble at school or anywhere (great behavior, respectful, etc.) I met with the HS, they would not share scores, and refused to do anything to help. It sucked. Unfortunately, life isn't fair. I hate that they have to learn about life not being fair as teenagers.

 

[Cheerdad_74]

Thanks for responding...I just don't want to ruin her chances going forward by questioning this process...I mean, you bring in out of town judges, but don't let anybody see the scores? Why bring them in then. We were also told that the cutoff would be made once there was a large drop off in scores...I find it hard to believe that my daughter wasn't even close... She worked with the EX HS cheer team coach and she was also shocked that she didn't make it. The whole process seems shady and has left a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[Keep_Believing]

Been there and it's awful. I wish I had good advice for you. Unfortunately, I don't. If her passion is cheer and you can juggle it, have her tryout for an all star cheer team. It will keep her busy doing something she loves.

 

[CoachTamara]

I'm going to be brutally honest here... As a school coach, let it go. There was some reason they didn't put her on, and if it was valid your complaints only make you pushy and seem like that parent that whines whenever you or your kid doesn't get their way. I have cut talented kids before for TONS of reasons, especially sideline. Your skills mean nothing to me if you have a poor attitude or think you are better than and can't take direction (not saying this is your kid).

If it was in fact unfair, you don't want to cheer there anyway. Move on and find something that is a good fit and where she will be appreciated. You arguing and fighting with the school is never going to end in a win for anyone, even if you get your way.

 

[Keep_Believing]

@CoachTamara I wanted to tag you but couldn't remember your username.

 

[Cheerdad_74]

I'm going to be brutally honest here... As a school coach, let it go. There was some reason they didn't put her on, and if it was valid your complaints only make you pushy and seem like that parent that whines whenever you or your kid doesn't get their way. I have cut talented kids before for TONS of reasons, especially sideline. Your skills mean nothing to me if you have a poor attitude or think you are better than and can't take direction (not saying this is your kid).

If it was in fact unfair, you don't want to cheer there anyway. Move on and find something that is a good fit and where she will be appreciated. You arguing and fighting with the school is never going to end in a win for anyone, even if you get your way.

Thanks.. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for. Do you think asking what she could work on for next year to have a better chance of making the team is pushing too hard?

 

[catlady]

Thanks.. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for. Do you think asking what she could work on for next year to have a better chance of making the team is pushing too hard?

My child didn't make a team, she wanted to know why, and she knew there was still an opening on the team. When she asked if I would speak to the coach, I said, "Nope." I told her if this was something she wanted, to go tell him, and ask what she could do to improve. Needless to say, she got the open position versus other athletes whose parents were speaking up for them.

My daughter was a short backspot, it was a first year 4.2 team, so I'm pretty sure he was just waiting to see if someone taller came along at late tryouts. When they didn't, he took the athlete who showed the most interest in asking what she could do to improve.

 

[CoachTamara]

Thanks.. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for. Do you think asking what she could work on for next year to have a better chance of making the team is pushing too hard?

I think asking what to work on is a great idea, and she needs to be the one to do it. They will give her feedback, and they will remember it the next year (especially if she comes back with having fixed those things).

 

[CheerI]

Thanks for responding...I just don't want to ruin her chances going forward by questioning this process...I mean, you bring in out of town judges, but don't let anybody see the scores? Why bring them in then. We were also told that the cutoff would be made once there was a large drop off in scores...I find it hard to believe that my daughter wasn't even close... She worked with the EX HS cheer team coach and she was also shocked that she didn't make it. The whole process seems shady and has left a bad taste in my mouth.

I think that I will be in the minority opinion here, but I can definitely understand why you would want to question what happened. A lot of times in high school cheer, there is so much bias, favoritism, etc. that goes into the process of selecting a team. When the process is not based on skill, I feel like girls who have worked their butts off to achieve certain skills are at an unfair disadvantage. Also, it almost is a slap in their face. While there is a risk of being known as "that parent," sometimes the risk is justified. A lot of times, we or our kids just want to be heard and have some assurance the process was fair.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I'm going to be brutally honest here... As a school coach, let it go. There was some reason they didn't put her on, and if it was valid your complaints only make you pushy and seem like that parent that whines whenever you or your kid doesn't get their way. I have cut talented kids before for TONS of reasons, especially sideline. Your skills mean nothing to me if you have a poor attitude or think you are better than and can't take direction (not saying this is your kid).

If it was in fact unfair, you don't want to cheer there anyway. Move on and find something that is a good fit and where she will be appreciated. You arguing and fighting with the school is never going to end in a win for anyone, even if you get your way.

This.

 

[cheermomforever]

My oldest daughter didn't make Varsity. She had jumps to standing tucks, specialty to layouts, and a running full. She had been cheering since she was 6 years old, had won NCA All Star Nationals on a level 4 all star cheer team and finals at Summit. Girls made it who couldn't do a back handspring and had no cheer experience. My daughter was an honor roll student and had never been in trouble at school or anywhere (great behavior, respectful, etc.) I met with the HS, they would not share scores, and refused to do anything to help. It sucked. Unfortunately, life isn't fair. I hate that they have to learn about life not being fair as teenagers.

That HS team must be really good!

 

[Keep_Believing]

That HS team must be really good!

No very few kids even had a backhand spring. That’s why it was upsetting.

 

[CheerI]

My oldest daughter didn't make Varsity. She had jumps to standing tucks, specialty to layouts, and a running full. She had been cheering since she was 6 years old, had won NCA All Star Nationals on a level 4 all star cheer team and finals at Summit. Girls made it who couldn't do a back handspring and had no cheer experience. My daughter was an honor roll student and had never been in trouble at school or anywhere (great behavior, respectful, etc.) I met with the HS, they would not share scores, and refused to do anything to help. It sucked. Unfortunately, life isn't fair. I hate that they have to learn about life not being fair as teenagers.

One thing that I really hate about these situation where very skilled girls are passed over for people with no skills is that it starts to affect the self-esteem of the girl that is skilled. They start doubting themselves and start thinking "what's wrong with me?" The truth is that there is nothing wrong - except with the integrity of the tryout process. Frankly, I feel like the only reason why a coach wouldn't pick girls based on skill is ensure that certain others girls without those skills are given a spot on the team. It's a shame because you would think that any decent coach would put the competitiveness of the team over any particular individual. The fact that the school won't share the scores shows you how useless the scores really are. Unfortunately, due to the politics of school cheerleading, she may need to just spend this year kissing the coach's butt (if she wants to tryout next year), since it clearly isn't about her skills.

 

[Cheerdad_74]

The small town atmosphere makes it worse.. Where everyone knows everyone... Little Suzie makes the team because the coach is friends with her mom, happens everywhere I'm sure.