All-Star Privates

[cupieqt]

People want like, drive-thru skills. They want to pull up to the window and order a McLayout, and get it at Window 2 in 5 minutes. That's not realistic.

I'm stealing this. So much truth in three sentences.

 

[Jenniturtle]

It doesn't matter how strongly the coach feels. We can tell kids all day long "you've got this" but until they feel completely confident and ready they aren't going to do it. Can't make em.

Its just frustrating. She can do ROBHS with no problem. Shes not afraid to try a RO 2BHS , just the one single standing BHS has her all crazy. I just want her to TRY to do it on her own. I don't want to continue to pay for privates and she just gets spotted EVERY SINGLE TIME. For weeks and weeks, never moving forward just stuck forever :(

 

[sportygal2012]

I am responding to those that mentioned how their cp refuses to throw skills unless they are spotted or someone is standing ready to spot... Last week, my cp and I were driving from her PT session and started talking about mental blocks and why none of her gymnastics' friend have this phenomenon, but this is huge problem for cheerleader-almost 1 out every 3 (guesstimating) cheerleader had complained about mental blocks.
My cp theorized it is the way gymnastics coaches teach new skills, she mentioned, they used different types of matts, tumble tracs, tumble pits, etc and they never, never, ever spot a gymnast on any skills that they are learning, so no chance of them becoming dependent. She said in gymnastics, coaches teach using the highest level of safety and cushioning, but they will never be there to touch you and she also mentioned that cheerleading coaches do not use the mental tactics of visualizing yourself doing the skill, talking about each part of the tumbling skill before performing it and last, how to safely bailout of a skill. She said, most of the girls with mental blocks are afraid of landing incorrectly, so being able to bailout safely will help a lot with mental blocks and having the tumble pits is a big asset in gymnastics gym that you do not see at cheer gym...

Side note: My daughter's private coach knows that she came from that gymnastics background and he had training in a gymnastics facility, so he practice all of the gymnastics teaching on her... He has never spotted her while she is learning a new skill, he videotape her performing skill and then they discuss how she execute sections of the skills and isolate the sections and practice from there... This method works for my daughter and she is never afraid to execute a new skill when she is ready to perform it alone...

I used to be a gymnast and this is spot on! Learning new skills always began with drills( sometimes trampoline), doing them off the rod floor into the pit, and then floor. Some people preferred tumble track somewhere in the middle of that but I didn't. Doing my skills into the pit would build my confidence up a ton! Once you mastered the pit they would stack up mats in the pit so you would get used to landing on a flat surface. Then you would move to floor with using same progression system. You would do drills onto a whale mat, do the skill with 8inch mat for landing, then 4inch then spring mat. Once you've mastered the sting mat (which is basically doing it with nothing bc the mat is so thin) you would do it with nothing. A pit would be a VERY good investment in cheer gyms.

 

[311cheermom]

Its just frustrating. She can do ROBHS with no problem. Shes not afraid to try a RO 2BHS , just the one single standing BHS has her all crazy. I just want her to TRY to do it on her own. I don't want to continue to pay for privates and she just gets spotted EVERY SINGLE TIME. For weeks and weeks, never moving forward just stuck forever :(

My cp has been here with her robhs tuck for a while now. She can do it, she's afraid, she can do it, she's afraid. She's soooo close to landing it, so I scrape together money for a private, which yields more spotting. Until someone on here told me to stop. Stop paying for privates. Stop asking her how she felt about her tuck, when she's gonna do it, why she's not doing it, etc, etc. Stop saying the WORD tuck when I pick her up from practice. Ask her how practice, tumbling went, say something encouraging and that's IT. It took some discipline, but that's what I've done. She is currently still getting a spot on her robhs tuck, which is over the top, crazy high. Her coaches don't believe in pulling the spot until she decides. They have told her she will have a running tumbling pass in the routine when she decides to start throwing it by herself. I have confidence that she will have it by competition season. I just had to realize that either way, there is nothing I can do or say to make it come faster. I'm just getting myself frustrated for nothing.

 

[Pebbles49]

I used to be a gymnast and this is spot on! Learning new skills always began with drills( sometimes trampoline), doing them off the rod floor into the pit, and then floor. Some people preferred tumble track somewhere in the middle of that but I didn't. Doing my skills into the pit would build my confidence up a ton! Once you mastered the pit they would stack up mats in the pit so you would get used to landing on a flat surface. Then you would move to floor with using same progression system. You would do drills onto a whale mat, do the skill with 8inch mat for landing, then 4inch then spring mat. Once you've mastered the spring mat (which is basically doing it with nothing bc the mat is so thin) you would do it with nothing. A pit would be a VERY good investment in cheer gyms.

OMG, I just closed my eyes and you have just taken me back 4 years, great job with the details...

 

[njallday]

Its just frustrating. She can do ROBHS with no problem. Shes not afraid to try a RO 2BHS , just the one single standing BHS has her all crazy. I just want her to TRY to do it on her own. I don't want to continue to pay for privates and she just gets spotted EVERY SINGLE TIME. For weeks and weeks, never moving forward just stuck forever :(

i'm usually a firm believer of leaving the gym at the gym.. meaning not talking about it at home unless they bring it up. but if you don't want to pay for the privates let her know without making it sound like a threat. (threats and/or bribes never work for blocks) ask her if she feels like the privates are helping her progress and discuss maybe cutting back on them.

is there a gymnastics gym or other cheer gym nearby? i'm not suggesting finding a new gym altogether, but sometimes having a class or private with someone new in a new environment without the pressure of the home gym makes everything "click." worth a shot if you haven't tried that already.

trust me - as frustrating as it is for you, it's even more frustrating for CP.

 

[cmghas3]

My cp had a private yesterday. I rarely ever watch any privates. When I went to pick her up her "private instructor" and also one of her team coaches were there. Her coach had wrote a list of exercises to do that will help her.
Now that she's on a team and able to do open gyms, ect privates are very helpful in cleaning up and perfecting skills.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

i'm usually a firm believer of leaving the gym at the gym.. meaning not talking about it at home unless they bring it up. but if you don't want to pay for the privates let her know without making it sound like a threat. (threats and/or bribes never work for blocks) ask her if she feels like the privates are helping her progress and discuss maybe cutting back on them.

is there a gymnastics gym or other cheer gym nearby? i'm not suggesting finding a new gym altogether, but sometimes having a class or private with someone new in a new environment without the pressure of the home gym makes everything "click." worth a shot if you haven't tried that already.

trust me - as frustrating as it is for you, it's even more frustrating for CP.

Yes!

Now I'm not saying that this is actually what @Jenniturtle is doing to her kiddo, but I will tell you that parental attitudes can be a HUGE setback for kids in dealing with mental blocks in general.

The worst thing for a kid is to get picked up from a private and hit with a barrage of:

"Did you throw it?"

"Why not?!"

"What is the deal?!"

"Maybe it's time for a new coach!"

"If you throw it by next month, I'll get you those Uggs/that phone/whatever!"

"Ugh. Seriously. If you don't throw it by _____, we're going to a new coach."

"If you don't throw it by ______, we're done with cheer because I'm not wasting my money for you sit out."

"If you don't throw it, you're not gonna make Level 3 and I am NOT wasting my money for you to be Y2 again this year."

"Insert Other Kid Here just got her _______, I can't believe you're still not throwing your _____. She's going to make Level ___ before you."

None of the above are going to help your child unblock on a skill any faster. If anything, it will keep them blocked, make them hate cheer, and resent you.

A simple "How did your private go today?" is JUST fine.

 

[Pebbles49]

NJallday and oncecoolcoachnowmom - I definitely agree with everything y'all said!
Definitely sit back and wait for the child to open up and talk about the private sessions...
Most of the time, I do not know that my daughter learned a new skill until I see her unleash it at practice or when they are working on the side away from the team... My daughter is so unassuming and quiet, she enjoys the learning of the skill, but will never, ever step forward and ring the gym's bell once learning that skill, she is just ready to move to the next skill...
(This is probably the little gymnast in her knowing that she needs to continuously work on all her skills, for perfection!)

 

[TheVipersMom]

The one mental period my kid had a while ago (age 7) although it was caused by a fall I felt now looking back as I caused the block to be worse or last longer.

Once she stopped tumbling, I threatened her with moving/leaving/quitting because I was so embarrassed my kid was working fulls and wouldn't even throw a BHS!!!! I begged, bribed, questioned her and probably put her down. I didn't think that's what I was doing at the time but I was.

One day I finally got over it and even coincidentally posted on here that I didn't care anymore. That whenever she decides to tumble again her tumbling will be fine but until then she can keep getting spotted on every skill. I truly didn't care anymore it was not worth any more of my energy or stress. I kid you not that weekend I seen a difference and within a week she had all her skills back better then before.

Now there are other things I felt helped her a long the way and a certain coach but honestly for me to be pissed and stressed for a month and the day I decide to give up I see a difference. That can't be a coincidence.

 

[cupieqt]

Its just frustrating. She can do ROBHS with no problem. Shes not afraid to try a RO 2BHS , just the one single standing BHS has her all crazy. I just want her to TRY to do it on her own. I don't want to continue to pay for privates and she just gets spotted EVERY SINGLE TIME. For weeks and weeks, never moving forward just stuck forever :(

I understand it is very frustrating. Probably for her too. If there was no progress I'd stop paying for privates too.

 

[armycheermom]

i'm usually a firm believer of leaving the gym at the gym.. meaning not talking about it at home unless they bring it up. but if you don't want to pay for the privates let her know without making it sound like a threat. (threats and/or bribes never work for blocks) ask her if she feels like the privates are helping her progress and discuss maybe cutting back on them.

is there a gymnastics gym or other cheer gym nearby? i'm not suggesting finding a new gym altogether, but sometimes having a class or private with someone new in a new environment without the pressure of the home gym makes everything "click." worth a shot if you haven't tried that already.

trust me - as frustrating as it is for you, it's even more frustrating for CP.

This. So. Much! Let your cp bring up cheer to you. A simple,"how was practice?" and an "I'm here if you need/want to talk." will take you and your cp,much father. Also watch,your facial expressions. I'm one who can keep my mouth shut,but my face is another thing altogether. My cp will watch my face to see what she's doing wrong or right;one day, my husband told me,what I was doing and how it was effecting her and I learned to keep a smile on my face and give the thumbs ups,any time she looks up. All our kids want to do is please us;we have to be careful and make sure we aren't giveing off signs,that we aren't proud of them.

 

[cmghas3]

OMG, I just closed my eyes and you have just taken me back 4 years, great job with the details...

@pebbles49....
Great post! You sound exactly like me. I don't even like to watch my CP's "showcase" performances and our gym has closed practices. I will never forget about 4 years ago we were in Indy for Super Nationals? Anyways, I didn't know that my middle cp had gotten her front and back walk overs. When I seen her throw it I was so proud. I loved the fact that not just her, but her sisters were able to keep it secret.

 

[Jenniturtle]

Yes!

Now I'm not saying that this is actually what @Jenniturtle is doing to her kiddo, but I will tell you that parental attitudes can be a HUGE setback for kids in dealing with mental blocks in general.

The worst thing for a kid is to get picked up from a private and hit with a barrage of:

"Did you throw it?"

"Why not?!"

"What is the deal?!"

"Maybe it's time for a new coach!"

"If you throw it by next month, I'll get you those Uggs/that phone/whatever!"

"Ugh. Seriously. If you don't throw it by _____, we're going to a new coach."

"If you don't throw it by ______, we're done with cheer because I'm not wasting my money for you sit out."

"If you don't throw it, you're not gonna make Level 3 and I am NOT wasting my money for you to be Y2 again this year."

"Insert Other Kid Here just got her _______, I can't believe you're still not throwing your _____. She's going to make Level ___ before you."

None of the above are going to help your child unblock on a skill any faster. If anything, it will keep them blocked, make them hate cheer, and resent you.


A simple "How did your private go today?" is JUST fine.

I actually asked her if she wanted me to watch and she said "yes, You motivate me to want to do It" so I must be doing something right.
I tried to get her team coach to work with her but she never responded to my attempts to contact her, which also leads to my frustration.

 

[WinstonsGirl]

A pit would be a VERY good investment in cheer gyms.

This is the main reason I usually do tumbling classes and open gyms at the local gymnastic clubs versus my cheer gym. I have no problem throwing skills into the pit to see what I want to work on. Layouts, fulls, arabians, I don't care. The most I can do on the floor in a routine is tucks, but I've chucked some ugly fulls into that pit. I want to know what I'm capable of learning and the pit helps me decide what new skills are attainable at the time (obviously not fulls at this point).

They also allow me to work body positions. I don't have to worry about the landing early on and I can focus on what I'm doing in the air. Once I've repped something out a million times, I start adding crash mats as I get better, until they're higher than the level of the track. It gives me the reps to feel comfortable trying something on the floor later on.