All-Star Replacing Athletes With New Athletes...

[CoachTamara]

We must be doing something wrong, because I'm pretty sure we pay the same crossover fees to event producers as everyone else. However, we don't have very many, so we haven 't paid close attention to that. (perhaps 1-2% of the program is on 2 teams and I can't recall anyone ever doing 3.)

Good to know!

This came from a gym owner directly, who was complaining that if they didn't do XYZ they would no longer get free crossover perks at their competitions. This was a few years ago, so things may have changed (although that's probably more of a wish than a reality).

 

[tealandgold]

@justpeachy I'm glad you shared your story because I have a feeling this happens more often than we hear about. Hopefully a coach or a gym owner will read your story and it will remind them that while they may be trying to do what is best for the team, they also need to realize that the team is made up of individual athletes who have feelings. There is just no excuse for that type of mental abuse to a child by an adult coach, not even a jacket.

 

[Cheermom1969]

I am the team mom of the team this all happened on. I have for three days thought about how to reply/ respond on this post. I do not think anything positive can come from posting negative. What I will say is that I love all these kids with all my heart and things are not always as they appear. There are absolutely two sides to every story. I will tell you that the parent posting I considered a friend but at this point I am defending the team, program, and coach that I love. The previous post is not entirely accurate on the way things happened nor does it represent the way the said team or program is ran.
I have often had thoughts about the vast majority wanting/saying cheerleading is a sport (which I agree it is). The major difference I see in cheerleading than every other sport is the expectation to keep a child on the team not doing their job. In baseball if the pitcher is throwing balls, the athlete is pulled from the game. This sport should be no different. My CP was put on this team to tumble and if she could not do her job I would expect her to be pulled and be disappointed if she was not. It's a life lesson to do your job. This CP that the post is about was not yelled at or degraded/ demeaned. I sit in practices with the coaches and have witnessed first hand the encouragement of trying to get this CP back to doing standing tumbling. The CP had been doing running tumbling during practices but would get to comps and tumble on some teams and not others. This had happened at multiple comps this season. It can not be blamed on the coach as all the CP teams are coached by different coaches. And the tumbling issue happened randomly on different teams.
To address the multiple team issue....
The CP was put on 2 teams asked to be on the third and fussed until placed an a 4th team (which was a Worlds team) placement on that team was strictly to tumble. This worlds team also competed in Louisville on the same weekend that all the CP other teams competed in Atlanta. Hard to be at both those events at the same time which lead to having a fill in and eventually a replacement because the CP was not tumbling. To address all these athletes compete on all 4 of these teams. Absolutely not true. I only had this CP cross to the worlds team she was on. I had 5 cross to 1 of the teams she was on and 5 cross to the other. They were not the same 5.
There was a discussion with the CP on day one about not competing day two and the Coach had a conversation with the parent. I texted the parent because I was not aware that they were told. However, I would never walk away from being a team mom because of having to bear bad news to a parent or CP. I want to be there for both the parent and CP in any way possible. I am their biggest fan. Everyone here may have a completely different outlook on this but I love and nurture these kids and would give them anything. I want them to know at any point in their lives, if they need me I'm a phone call away. So with that said bad news does not bother me. Sometimes I feel like I can be a shoulder to cry on. If anyone here has any other questions I will try and answer them to the best of my ability but I will not answer if I feel like it will hurt the CP that was the focus of this feed.



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Since you said we could ask questions, I have two:
Was the athlete told she was being replaced day 2 in warm ups/as the team was taking the stage?

And was the mom told by you in a text as the team was in warm ups/taking the stage?

 

[cheer25mom]

@Dani-j

I have one question too. If you don't want to answer its ok. You say you would never walk away from a role as team parent over having to deliver bad news. All discussion about when they were informed aside (because I understand that there is a dispute as to whether that is what happened here), do you really think its ok to expect a team parent to tell a kid or their parent they have been pulled off the mat with no communication directly from the coach about it?

 

[Dani-j]

Since you said we could ask questions, I have two:
Was the athlete told she was being replaced day 2 in warm ups/as the team was taking the stage?

And was the mom told by you in a text as the team was in warm ups/taking the stage?

The coach let the athlete know after day one. The coach also had a conversation with the parent after day one. (I was not present during the conversation) When the mother text me Day 2, I responded to her text.


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[SL&AM]

The coach let the athlete know after day one. The coach also had a conversation with the parent after day one. (I was not present during the conversation) When the mother text me Day 2, I responded to her text.


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Were you present for either conversation that took place on day 1? The one with the athlete? Since you said you weren't there when the conversation with the parent took place.

 

[Dani-j]

@Dani-j

I have one question too. If you don't want to answer its ok. You say you would never walk away from a role as team parent over having to deliver bad news. All discussion about when they were informed aside (because I understand that there is a dispute as to whether that is what happened here), do you really think its ok to expect a team parent to tell a kid or their parent they have been pulled off the mat with no communication directly from the coach about it?

I think it depends on the situation.


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[Cheermom1969]

The coach let the athlete know after day one. The coach also had a conversation with the parent after day one. (I was not present during the conversation) When the mother text me Day 2, I responded to her text.


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Ok. I guess there's the point of disagreement with you and the parent. Everything else isn't really the point for me anyway. It's whether this child and her mother weren't told until the last second.

And I'm a team mom who probably has a lot of the same roles you do. I know you were put in a difficult situation.

 

[Dani-j]

Were you present for either conversation that took place on day 1? The one with the athlete? Since you said you weren't there when the conversation with the parent took place.

Yes


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[FamousxMindset]

As a coach you are responsible for making the team successful at the end of the day this includes winning, as well as teaching them important but sometimes tougher life lessons. We have to teach them how to lose AND win graciously, we have to teach them accountability for themselves and others. I explain to my kids on a daily basis that everybody has a job, and every job is different for each person. When these kids become adults and they fail to perform in their professional life they won't have that role or job for too much longer.

Accountability is vital, even my 7 year olds eventually start to grasp the concept. "Karli why did you fall? Because I didn't replace my foot. Correct, what should you do differently for day 2? Replace." it's the same concept. She realized momentarily she didn't do her job and that resulted in a deduction.

I know this is mostly a parent driven forum so my post will be most likely be casted in a negative light and thats fine but we have to protect our 25 kids and sometimes that includes holding your child accountable for what they do or in this case don't do. This situation could've been handled much differently and probably should have but that isn't always an option especially when you have a total of 150 seconds to showcase what you and your athletes have been working for all season long.

 

[justpeachy]

As a coach you are responsible for making the team successful at the end of the day this includes winning, as well as teaching them important but sometimes tougher life lessons. We have to teach them how to lose AND win graciously, we have to teach them accountability for themselves and others. I explain to my kids on a daily basis that everybody has a job, and every job is different for each person. When these kids become adults and they fail to perform in their professional life they won't have that role or job for too much longer.

Accountability is vital, even my 7 year olds eventually start to grasp the concept. "Karli why did you fall? Because I didn't replace my foot. Correct, what should you do differently for day 2? Replace." it's the same concept. She realized momentarily she didn't do her job and that resulted in a deduction.

I know this is mostly a parent driven forum so my post will be most likely be casted in a negative light and thats fine but we have to protect our 25 kids and sometimes that includes holding your child accountable for what they do or in this case don't do. This situation could've been handled much differently and probably should have but that isn't always an option especially when you have a total of 150 seconds to showcase what you and your athletes have been working for all season long.

I don't disagree with you at all. I just wish that it hadn't been handled in a manner that hurt my daughter.

 

[FamousxMindset]

I don't disagree with you at all. I just wish that it hadn't been handled in a manner that hurt my daughter.

I cant word this without truly sound like an evil person but when your baby hurts my 25 babies (score/placement wise) something has to change. You have to protect 1 I have to protect 20.

Again this situation should have been handled much differently.

Sometimes I think a lot of cheer parents, in general assume that these coaches are out to get their child when it's the opposite. I know for fact that the coach in question screams for their team's successes just as much as their downfalls. My coaching style is exactly the same, and when I break it down to the parents they are usually able to see where I am coming from and if not I wish them the best in future and will actually refer other programs because I know that my coaching style is not right for every athlete.

 

[cheer25mom]

As a coach you are responsible for making the team successful at the end of the day this includes winning, as well as teaching them important but sometimes tougher life lessons. We have to teach them how to lose AND win graciously, we have to teach them accountability for themselves and others. I explain to my kids on a daily basis that everybody has a job, and every job is different for each person. When these kids become adults and they fail to perform in their professional life they won't have that role or job for too much longer.

Accountability is vital, even my 7 year olds eventually start to grasp the concept. "Karli why did you fall? Because I didn't replace my foot. Correct, what should you do differently for day 2? Replace." it's the same concept. She realized momentarily she didn't do her job and that resulted in a deduction.

I know this is mostly a parent driven forum so my post will be most likely be casted in a negative light and thats fine but we have to protect our 25 kids and sometimes that includes holding your child accountable for what they do or in this case don't do. This situation could've been handled much differently and probably should have but that isn't always an option especially when you have a total of 150 seconds to showcase what you and your athletes have been working for all season long.

I definitely don't disagree with you. In fact I wish MORE coached held individual athletes accountable for their actions and for doing their job. What I don't agree with here is the mental abuse reportedly heaped on the athlete prior to the removal, and how the removal was handled. It should have happened before they got to Atlanta. Barring that, the coach should have at least had a 30 second conversation with the child AND the parent about it. No coach is so busy they cannot do that. They are making a choice at that point.

As for it being for the good of the other kids. This team was in first place by over 4 points after day one. This one kid not throwing tumbling was obviously not costing the team first place. It could have been handled at home after the fact.

 

[cheer25mom]

I think it depends on the situation.


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Can you expand on that? What situation warrants a coach leaving it to team parent? I am truly curious because it is a huge no no in our gym. parents are NEVER involved in situations specifically related to someone else's child.

 

[FamousxMindset]

I definitely don't disagree with you. In fact I wish MORE coached held individual athletes accountable for their actions and for doing their job. What I don't agree with here is the mental abuse reportedly heaped on the athlete prior to the removal, and how the removal was handled. It should have happened before they got to Atlanta. Barring that, the coach should have at least had a 30 second conversation with the child AND the parent about it. No coach is so busy they cannot do that. They are making a choice at that point.

As for it being for the good of the other kids. This team was in first place by over 4 points after day one. This one kid not throwing tumbling was obviously not costing the team first place. It could have been handled at home after the fact.

My comment didn't touch on the alleged mental abuse, and I said the situation on comp day hsould have and could have been handled much differently.

What I got from the post is that this has been a reoccurring issue it wasn't that CP just randomly blocked out of her pass and day 1 and was replaced this was a reoccurring situation. It doesn't matter the point lead as a coach if I have 15 2 to tucks for a section I need to see 15 2 to tucks go when they are supposed to go when little Suzy blocks it changes the entire visual of that section, and omitted passes can be used against you on the score sheet.

As teams prepare for year end events coaches have to put their best 25 kids on the mat and as soon as possible so by the time Worlds/ Summit rolls around it becomes muscle memory.