All-Star Replacing Athletes With New Athletes...

[justpeachy]

This broke my heart to read. Your daughter was being used. I feel so terrible for her. I have a 13 year old, I know how delicate they are. Sending her hugs!

Thank you. She was honestly devastated.

 

[cachoi]

I just read a post in another thread in which a parent commented that her child was replaced the day of Day 2 of a major comp with no warning due to a mental block.

Kid only knew she was being replaced when she saw another kid warming up in her spot.

Parent only knew when she got a TEXT from a team parent as kids were in warm ups.

I tried to find a place to discuss this practice without starting a new thread.

I am in the school cheer world moreso these days but I am wondering how other gyms handle needing to replace kids.

I find the above practices to be concerning.

Does your gym text parents this type of thing? How do you handle this type of conversation?

I'm a big fan of meeting with kids and parents in adavance (school cheer.)

I've experienced it happen in a case where A has anxiety and on Day 2, she was having a breakdown before walking back to warm ups. It was a genuine "if you can't go out, B will be in warm ups to learn your stunt. You can pick but the show will go on". A eventually got it together and rocked it out. Her mom was not mad about taking A out or bringing B to warm ups because she knew performing with her anxiety out of control would've been worse for her and the team. Ideally, I would hope coaches told parents in person. In my case, it was literally in the middle of walking back so it would've had to be a text. I would hope the conversation would be more "in the interest of the child's mental health and what's good for the team" rather than "coaches playing vindictive mind games" but it's sad that the latter exists.

@justpeachy I'm so sorry that you and your CP had to go through that. It saddens me even more that I've heard the same from others relating to that gym.

 

[Keep_Believing]

@justpeachy ". This was a common occurrence in this program, so she had no reason to think otherwise."

I am sorry for your negative experience. I don't wish that on any child but, if you were aware that it was common there, then I am at a complete loss.

 

[justpeachy]

@justpeachy ". This was a common occurrence in this program, so she had no reason to think otherwise."

I am sorry for your negative experience. I don't wish that on any child but, if you were aware that it was common there, then I am at a complete loss.

I accept full responsibility for making the wrong choice to keep my child there. It's easy to overlook things like that until they become your problem. Hindsight is 20/20.

 

[Keep_Believing]

@justpeachy Very true, lots of respect for your honest reply.

 

[Cheerhastakenovermylife]

My CP cheers for a small yet successful gym. They are tough and we've seen kids quit after a rough practice.
They replace or space out kids who miss practices or are too injured/sick to practice leading up to a comp. Some leeway is given to certain people or situations but it's pretty standard. I'm in favor of the practice. I pay too much money for my child to be competing all over to have her on a team not practicing at full capacity before they compete that weekend. Many parents complain cause Suzy can't do the school play, choir, youth group, track, powder puff, etc. It drives me crazy. There are rec leagues, half year teams. A full travel team is not the place for your child if they want to miss practice so they can do others sports/activities. I've had to tell my daughter no to other things if she wants to continue cheering. It's not fair to the team. It's the coaches responsibility to look out for the team.
As far as replacing an able body athlete at a comp is too much even for me. I can see watering down tumbling or a stunt. I'm kind of disgusted that a gym would think that is ok.
Athletes coming in off the street and joining a team doesn't happen at our gym mainly cause they wouldn't have a uniform. Pulling athletes in house to replace is not unheard of. I've only seen 1 or 2 athletes moved to a lower team and that was before competition season. Making an athlete an alternate because they missed practice before a competition doesn't bother me.

 

[DonePaying4Cheer]

I really hope there is more to the story. If not, this is exactly how to NOT handle the situation appropriately. I just can't help but think there has to be more, and that no gym owner would handle it like this!

Unfortunately, there are gym owners for whom new money, and the expectation that placing someone new on a top team will bring new recruits, trumps loyalty. It's sad because this sport is about relationships. These kids look up to their coaches and take cues from them on their worth to the program. Many of the girls are at the age where the opinions of someone they admire really matters-even more than a parent's opinion. I've seen a gym, up close where it appears that none of that matters. It's all about the W-I-N. It's demeaning enough to be replaced when you're doing your best. The coach could at least pretend to care for a child's humanity.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

@justpeachy Your poor baby girl. I am SO SORRY this happened to you. At the end of the day, coaches can forget that sports are intended to build character, confidence, and strength in children. It's not an excuse, but I know that we can all fall into the "win over everything" trap. However, the coach in your situation went WAY too far. I can't imagine how this was even permitted by the owner.

Is your daughter still cheering on her other teams, or did you decide to pull her from the gym all together? Would hate to see a kid stop cheering because of a horrible coach. :( That would be the icing on the cake for me.

 

[justpeachy]

@justpeachy Your poor baby girl. I am SO SORRY this happened to you. At the end of the day, coaches can forget that sports are intended to build character, confidence, and strength in children. It's not an excuse, but I know that we can all fall into the "win over everything" trap. However, the coach in your situation went WAY too far. I can't imagine how this was even permitted by the owner.

Is your daughter still cheering on her other teams, or did you decide to pull her from the gym all together? Would hate to see a kid stop cheering because of a horrible coach. :( That would be the icing on the cake for me.

In this case, the coach IS the owner.

I pulled her out of the gym altogether. She thankfully is still interested in the sport, so we are taking this time to get her back to healthy.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

In this case, the coach IS the owner.

I pulled her out of the gym altogether. She thankfully is still interested in the sport, so we are taking this time to get her back to healthy.

UGH. Yup, there it is.

Thank goodness there are PLENTY of gyms around you. Best of luck to your CP and please keep us updated! I'm sure she'll kick this block with a little extra love and support. <3 <3

 

[justpeachy]

UGH. Yup, there it is.

Thank goodness there are PLENTY of gyms around you. Best of luck to your CP and please keep us updated! I'm sure she'll kick this block with a little extra love and support. <3 <3

Thank you so much. Not surprisingly, skills began to return immediately upon leaving the program. Our goal now is to strengthen her confidence until she is "block proof". She is having fun tumbling again and taking things at her own pace. There are no adults pressuring her, so self motivation has returned.

She's a quality kid and lots of gyms would be happy to have her. In the long run, this experience has made us both grow so we haven't lost anything that can't be picked up elsewhere.

 

[tumbleyoda]

@justpeachy - This is completely unacceptable, inexcusable and indefensible on so many levels. i posted something about this type of thing in response to a couple of my parents and possible mental blocks yesterday on another platform. As coaches we can be the cause of blocks just like we can be the cure. We address so many other possible causes but rarely look at ourselves. We have to own up to our role as well in possibly creating blocks in not adapting our strategies to the athlete in front of us, instead of a one size fits all type methodology.

My sincerest apologies as a professional that this ever happened.

 

[justpeachy]

@justpeachy - This is completely unacceptable, inexcusable and indefensible on so many levels. My sincerest apologies as a professional that this ever happened.

Thank you, that means a lot from you.

I accept all the responsibility for what happened. I heard the rumors and took her there anyways. I saw it with my own eyes, yet we continued. There was this feeling that if she tried just a little harder, got a little more skill, she would become one of the untouchable kids.

It's very sick and I should not have allowed it.

 

[Fiercecheermom]

Thank you so much. Not surprisingly, skills began to return immediately upon leaving the program. Our goal now is to strengthen her confidence until she is "block proof". She is having fun tumbling again and taking things at her own pace. There are no adults pressuring her, so self motivation has returned.

She's a quality kid and lots of gyms would be happy to have her. In the long run, this experience has made us both grow so we haven't lost anything that can't be picked up elsewhere.

I never like to see scenarios like this, but I have many times. Two things stood out to me, that might help in the future. Four teams is too much for any athlete/family PERIOD..... Even if the athlete and parent did nothing else. When you do too much, you do nothing well. Your daughter is young and is still learning to cope with pressure and expectations. She WILL keep moving forward and I know you will help/encourage her in this area. I will tell you also, that she will probably never be "block proof". With experience, both of you will learn to handle them better, quicker, and figure out how to ward them off. Every athlete handles these differently. My own athlete suffered from a few (very short /weeks) of them. Even recently, she had a touch of it...but at her age, she knows what she has to do to move on. I hope everything works out for your athlete and she finds happiness in the sport again

 

[justpeachy]

@Fiercecheermom you're absolutely right. I should have put my foot down over the number of teams. We did grumble about it some, but clearly I should have flat out said no. I knew that dropping teams would mean dropping the one that was challenging her rather than one that was not. I should have spoken up anyways.

I agree with you about being "block proof" also. All I can really ask is that she becomes as mentally strong and resilient as possible.