All-Star So Now That The Season's Over, What Is The Big Deal With Changing Gyms?

[KRECCheer]

I still dont think the issue is switching gyms. I think its how people go about doing it. Three words: Do Not Lie. Its a simple concept really and makes all the difference in the world. My feelings are more hurt when you dont tell me the truth. I wont even say it hurts my feelings. It leaves me confused as to why I deserved to be lied to. What did I do to make you unhappy? Was it something another teammate did or said? Where can I fix this situation for the future? I need this feedback so I can make sure I am giving my best.

 

[lakerfantlc]

I still dont think the issue is switching gyms. I think its how people go about doing it. Three words: Do Not Lie. Its a simple concept really and makes all the difference in the world. My feelings are more hurt when you dont tell me the truth. I wont even say it hurts my feelings. It leaves me confused as to why I deserved to be lied to. What did I do to make you unhappy? Was it something another teammate did or said? Where can I fix this situation for the future? I need this feedback so I can make sure I am giving my best.

I told the truth...made the gym owners and coach aware and first to know... Was told it was a good thing for my girls because one of our coaches cheered at the gym I was going to and yet... Me and my family got trashed b the old gym...so sometimes the truth doesn't work either.....prolly why people lie...but I didn't and I am soooo happy where we are now:)))

 

[bburke1]

Okay so I know professional basketball is a completely different level and sport but take for instance the way the NBA contracts players and make trades when necessary. I watched an episode about the Celtics where they ended up trading one of their big guys to bring in some other players for different positions. The guy they traded was one of the most loved on the team and in the fan community. Both the players and coaches were saying things along the lines of "people say it's a business, but we do become a family and it hurts." With that said, the trades were done with the intention to benefit the players leaving, the players coming, and the team as a whole. I know trading isn't the same thing as switching gyms, but the bottom line is hopefully everyone can see that when a decision to change is made, everyone wants the same thing--what's best for them and their needs. It shouldn't be taken as a personal vendetta against the gym you're leaving and everyone in it! As someone who switched gyms twice throughout my cheerleading career I'm familiar with the emotions of leaving behind old coaches and teammates, and it also really hurt me to see my mom treated like an outcast by other adults! But in the end I couldn't be happier with where I ended up and am so thankful I had a family willing to deal with all the drama just to do what was best for me.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I still dont think the issue is switching gyms. I think its how people go about doing it. Three words: Do Not Lie. Its a simple concept really and makes all the difference in the world. My feelings are more hurt when you dont tell me the truth. I wont even say it hurts my feelings. It leaves me confused as to why I deserved to be lied to. What did I do to make you unhappy? Was it something another teammate did or said? Where can I fix this situation for the future? I need this feedback so I can make sure I am giving my best.

I told the truth...made the gym owners and coach aware and first to know... Was told it was a good thing for my girls because one of our coaches cheered at the gym I was going to and yet... Me and my family got trashed b the old gym...so sometimes the truth doesn't work either.....prolly why people lie...but I didn't and I am soooo happy where we are now:)))

Yes, as I said in my first post I was very upfront and honest. Waited until the season was over. Didn't leave any debt. I even gave it to her in writing also, in the form of what I thought was a very nice letter telling her all the good things we would miss, as well as the reasons we were leaving. So I have to agree with lakerfantlc - that's probably why people lie: why bother being open and honest when either way you're going to get blasted?

Now this season, we didn't even say anything since the season was over and we were only there a few months. Just didn't go to tryouts. We'll see if there's any drama - so far the moms I've seen have been fine, but I've only seen about 3 of them.

 

[bburke1]

Well it sounds like you did the right thing, good luck @Just-a-Mom ! I hate mom drama :( It makes me so sad. Thought it would get better as I get older..

 

[spiritmama]

Just thought I would add something here about de-friending on FB. I am a gym owner, and generally if someone is not a "real life" friend, family member or member of my gym (with very very few exceptions) I do not leave them as friends on Facebook if they leave my gym. A couple kids have been insulted but I jsut explain that I have children, and a family and I don't feel the need for people not involved in my life to know my business. I never take anoyone off the fan page, just as a personal "friend" I don't think de-friending HAS to be a big deal, but I can understand why it would upset people.

There are 3 gyms in my city, all within 5 mins or less from each other, all the same size... flip flopping between them really is NOT a HUGE issue every year, but there are always a few. I have had people lie to me when leaving the gym (and leaving a debt!!) and do not "hang out" or really even speak to those parents at comps, but I am always friendly to the kids. I have had people who felt it was time to go to a different gym, and still we are friends to this day and I love their kid. It can go either way, but as an owner, it HURTS when kids leave your gym, no matter what. Your gym is part of YOU and when people leave, for whatever reason (other then moving) you genuinely feel like it is personal (even if it isn't) That's just human nature!

We always try to make sure people know that the door is always open to return (in most situations) and remind ourselves that just because they left, doesn't mean they are necesarily gone forever (because the grass isn't always greener on the other side!) and do we want the to come back to a familliar place, or feel like we slammed the door in their faces? We do tend to get kids back, and I think the way we handle departures is the reason why.

I do hate this time of year though (lol) as fun as it should be! lolol

 

[TaylorUA]

I really dont think it matters how you choose to leave a gym. Even if you choose to leave the "right way" if your old team feels bittrer about it theyll make sure you know

 

[newcheerdad]

We're friends with a couple of parents who left our gym this year to go to another cheer program in town. We certainly haven't "defriended" them, nor do we plan to. I think that part of it is beyond silly.

I strongly believe that how you treat parents and kids when they've decided to leave is almost as important as how you treat them when they're a part of your organization. If you treat them well, with kindness and respect, they're far less likely to badmouth your program and more likely to come back someday.

 

[KRECCheer]

I told the truth...made the gym owners and coach aware and first to know... Was told it was a good thing for my girls because one of our coaches cheered at the gym I was going to and yet... Me and my family got trashed b the old gym...so sometimes the truth doesn't work either.....prolly why people lie...but I didn't and I am soooo happy where we are now:)))

I am certainly glad that you are happy where you are now. I find it disgusting that anyone would still trash you when you were open and honest about it. I guess I feel better about myself knowing that I dont speak poorly about anyone who leaves on good terms. Or for that matter, anyone who leaves on bad terms. Its a waste of breath and emotional energy. I suppose I am just tooting my own horn here. :)

 

[melisssaacheerfreakk]

I decided to leave the gym I was at and I had a hard time telling my coaches. They kept asking me if I was trying out and I would just tell them that I wasn't sure yet, avoiding the subject. When tryouts did come I went to one of the open gyms for it at my old gym, my mind was set that I was leaving but no one really knew that yet. Eventually, the owner told me I had to make up my mind because she didn't want me taking a spot for another girl if I don't do the team. A few days later she confronted me and asked why it was that I was leaving.. I told her my reasons and she was giving me her feelings on why my reasons were sort of not right (which I did not agree with). But I knew what I wanted to do and I am now switching gyms. I still go to my old gym for tumbling classes and the owners or other coaches don't give me any problems which is exactly what I was hoping for. And I will support them at any competitions that we will be at together.

The best way to say that you're leaving is just to tell the full truth. They might not agree, but at least they know why you're leaving. And if you're going to leave, don't talk about it during the previous season.. You're just asking for drama..

 

[KRECCheer]

The best way to say that you're leaving is just to tell the full truth. They might not agree, but at least they know why you're leaving. And if you're going to leave, don't talk about it during the previous season.. You're just asking for drama..

I agree big time. Just explain to me that youre leaving and leave it at that. No one needs to know your business or the details. If someone asks, keep it simple. Many things are taken out of context and made out to be much worse than they really are.

 

[lakerfantlc]

I am certainly glad that you are happy where you are now. I find it disgusting that anyone would still trash you when you were open and honest about it. I guess I feel better about myself knowing that I dont speak poorly about anyone who leaves on good terms. Or for that matter, anyone who leaves on bad terms. Its a waste of breath and emotional energy. I suppose I am just tooting my own horn here. :)

I have been a hairstylist for a zillion years (ya..Im old) and my attitude was always that I would NEVER want a client who didnt want to be in my chair...I was ok knowing I couldnt be all things to all people and when I saw my clients at the store or where ever...I always gave them a big smile and a warm greeting...whats the point in being mean and taking it personal....most times people mean no harm and carrying a grudge just makes ya look small....:)

 

[lakerfantlc]

I decided to leave the gym I was at and I had a hard time telling my coaches. They kept asking me if I was trying out and I would just tell them that I wasn't sure yet, avoiding the subject. When tryouts did come I went to one of the open gyms for it at my old gym, my mind was set that I was leaving but no one really knew that yet. Eventually, the owner told me I had to make up my mind because she didn't want me taking a spot for another girl if I don't do the team. A few days later she confronted me and asked why it was that I was leaving.. I told her my reasons and she was giving me her feelings on why my reasons were sort of not right (which I did not agree with). But I knew what I wanted to do and I am now switching gyms. I still go to my old gym for tumbling classes and the owners or other coaches don't give me any problems which is exactly what I was hoping for. And I will support them at any competitions that we will be at together.

The best way to say that you're leaving is just to tell the full truth. They might not agree, but at least they know why you're leaving. And if you're going to leave, don't talk about it during the previous season.. You're just asking for drama..

I think that is great that your old gym could behave so great!!!! I heard from people at our old gym that kids were told not to hang around me or my kids...I pray that was just a rumor...we were treated very cool all year and the drama was crazy....I am over it and love where we are....but I hope people read this subject and learn to be grown up and just be happy with what ya have and dont hold grudges...be grown ups and enjoy the ride...cheer is AMAZING!!!!

 

[shadow]

I had seen how others had been treated when they left my kids old gym. I really thought it would be different with my kid, it wasn't. There was no way to leave the gym on good terms as long as you were leaving to cheer somewhere else. They trashed everyone. You had to stop cheering allstar all together, that was the only way to leave on good terms.
Going to the new gym was the best decision she ever made. So happy I allowed her to make the move.

 

[ellie]

i agree