All-Star So Now That The Season's Over, What Is The Big Deal With Changing Gyms?

[mdcheerdiva]

I dont get why this is such a touchy subject with some people. I think that if you decide to not go back at the end of the season then that is your choice. Believe me the door swings a whole lot here in MD due to different reasons but there is so much parent drama that surrounds it. If a friendship was made and I move on and you are upset and defriend me on FB then we were never friends in the 1st place. I am still friends with the parents from my cp's old gym we even sit together at competitions and that's how it should be.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I think if everyone is reasonable and not a Suzy Mom or Dead beat cheer parent gym switching can be not the end of the world.

...and the gym owner too. I am definitely not a Suzie's Mom (heck, we were leaving to find a LOWER level team) and bills were paid. I totally agree though--we were like a family. And it was definitely sad like a break-up or divorce, not like a "business decision" at all. :(

 

[NJ Coach]

It's never easy losing a kid. Especially in small gyms, they become your family. I see my gym family more than my actual family sometimes. In most situations, I stay friendly with the family. There are a few that left in the absolute worst way possible, and I'm still angry about that, but that's the rare case. As some of you have said, in regards to how you are treated after you leave, I'm always amazed at how many won't acknowledge me. You left, for whatever your reasons, and can't say hi to me when you see me? What did I do except coach your kid to the best of my abilities? I don't know if they are uncomfortable, but saying hello never hurt anyone.

 

[ShoWStoppeR]

Well of course there are always bitter feelings when kids leave to go to the competitor but also some people see it as a loyalty thing. I have heard, how do you people expect our program to grow and get better if people keep gym hopping. Sometimes you have to try on a few different pair of shoes before you find the right fit.

I guess cheer will never be all puppy dogs and rainbows ( @ShoWStoppeR )!!

hahaha. i literally just laughed out loud at this.

i am not a fan of kids that gym hop during the season because it lets them think thats okay and doesnt teach them dedication, committment, or responsibility. i do, however, understand people who switch gyms at the end of the season to be part of a more competitive program and one that is better for the overall well being of an athlete. why pay all that money to be at a gym that is going nowhere fast? especially for athletes that want to cheer on a worlds level team in an area where there is slim pickings (cough cough northeast ohio lol) gym loyalty is talked up a little too much in this sport sometimes... do what makes you happy right? why stay at a program that makes you miserable?

 

[WE All Stars]

Regardless of how you leave a program it is still going to sting for the Coaches, Owners and other athletes. The gym is an extended family and one you have bonded with and people will be upset when you leave. It doesn't mean they should ignore you or act rude towards you but it isn't a comfortable situation.

 

[simplymom]

I gave up on trying to figure it out. People are who they are. Just like I've given up on trying to understand the cheer mama drama. :confused: I don't get it. They are only burning bridges by being disrespectful and rude. I know that I would never return to a gym where they weren't respectful upon departure.

The "break up" theory above makes sense though. No matter how gentle the "breaker" is, the "breakee's" heart still hurts. Even if it IS me and NOT you!:oops:

 

[Mamarazzi]

Funniest part to me is that when we decided to leave our last gym, we did it the "right" way - professionally in writing, and actually left with a credit on the books knowing we'd never get it back. Lost friends, the whole nine. Fast-forward 4 months and our old gym "merged" with our new gym that we had been at, happily, for that time. So all those people that were angry with me for leaving had to swallow some serious pride. Part of me hopes it tasted rotten, too...:p

 

[SharkDad]

Assuming you are polite, respectful, and up front about your reasons for leaving. . .

If coaches and gym owners really care about what's best for your child, they will respect your decision and wish you well on your way.

If your friends care about you they will wish you good luck and still care about you and remain friends on your new team.

Anyone else isn't really worth your time to worry about. Don't be sad about it, it obviously wasn't as good a relationship as you had hoped it would be. There will be plenty of good people you will run accross as you move on. . .

 

[peytonnmariee]

I am with you....we left a gym...tried to do it the right way....the owner and director were beyond rude....but what hurt the most is how one of my daughters coaches treated them at comps this season...he is supposed to be an adult....so sad for the kids...Im a grown up...I get it...but the kids do not....we did everything right...and we still were made out to be monsters:( Happy to be where we are though...even though it is a 2 hour drive each way....:)

loving your signtaure(:

 

[SharkDad]

...and the gym owner too. I am definitely not a Suzie's Mom (heck, we were leaving to find a LOWER level team) and bills were paid. I totally agree though--we were like a family. And it was definitely sad like a break-up or divorce, not like a "business decision" at all. :(

Are you sure? She looks just like you!

 

[MissCongeniality]

I think it's hard on all parties regardless of how it is done. There is a bond that forms and despite logical reasons for leaving, it is sometimes hard to separate those "feelings" that are akin to a "break up". Our family has been on both sides of this. We have been the ones to move on to a new program and we have seen people leave our program for someplace else. It is simple if you are moving across the country, but for things like schedules, levels, distance etc. it can be a bit less obvious.

 

[Mamarazzi]

I think it's hard on all parties regardless of how it is done. There is a bond that forms and despite logical reasons for leaving, it is sometimes hard to separate those "feelings" that are akin to a "break up". Our family has been on both sides of this. We have been the ones to move on to a new program and we have seen people leave our program for someplace else. It is simple if you are moving across the country, but for things like schedules, levels, distance etc. it can be a bit less obvious.

That's my point. Logically, it's fine. Do what you need to do. But the second emotion comes into the picture, people get funny.

 

[GeorgiaCheerleader]

I think it's just Susie's mom's nature to be involved in the cheer gossip. :rolleyes:

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Are you sure? She looks just like you!

Oh no...maybe I am her then! :eek: And all this time I've been laughing...at myself!!! Oh I am sooooo moving gyms until my Susie is on a Worlds team. The only reason she can't do a full is because of her coaches...surely if we had better ones...oh wait. Noooo...the only reason she doesn't have her full is because she's still working on her level 3 tumbling.:oops:

 

[INeverStopCheering]

In a team sport such as this, people become really loyal to their owners/coaches, especially those who have been with that one coach since their first high V. So to them, it does seem like a betrayal. In competitive sports there is just a lot of drama. The same thing happens to girls I know who switch gymnastics, soccer, or swim clubs. Especially because you go through so much together it;s very emotional (for the other kids) to have a friend leave. They feel left behind or deserted, or they just miss their friend, and some people just don't know how to deal with that. But they're children. And while none of this is ever pleasant, it's unfortunately true. I put the responsibility on the coaches/owners. If someone leaves it does not need to be a huge deal or a new rumor mill. Coaches shouldn't talk bad to other parents, or even discuss it at all. Because it's really nobody else's business what you do. You need to do what is best for your daughter, not anybody else's daughter or team or buisness