All-Star So Who Is Responsible??

[catlady]

Parents are alway responsible for their kids actions and there is never an appropriate time to fight or spew negativity about another person on social media. If my kids are screaming back and forth with a friend, yes, I allow them to work it out. If they take it to social media, they are made to delete it and personally apologize to the people involved. It happened once with the oldest, it never happened again and youngest hasn't tested us. Many parents are quick to say these kids need to "toughen up and ignore it" or "it's their fault for putting themselves out there", right up until it happens to their kid and they realize how easy it is for other kids to jump on the "hate on Suzie wagon" and how demoralizing it really is. I am the first to tell my kids "no one can make you feel badly about yourself without your permission" but, we have to teach our kids how to be decent human beings with some self control. Angry? Go run or eat chocolate.

 

[cheermomforever]

There doesn't need to be though I changed gyms last year and there was no negativity in fact my old coach and team were there to cheer me on at a comp we were both at and were friendly, supportive and basically everything my current/ now old team weren't

U got lucky with good people! That is the way it should b if people leave the right way.

 

[cheerisloving]

Personally speaking anyone younger than 14 shouldn't have ANY social media. Snapchat, insta didn't exist when I was in middle school (Myspace was big then Facebook). I feel like that's the issue. Parents are letting their kids enter this big world and post things on the internet wayy before they are ready.

A 13 year old knows right from wrong. But they don't understand the impact of their actions. I was bullied hard on social media when I was 13 and shouldn't have been on social media, but I didn't get why until much later. I wish parents would stop letting their kids have social media all together. You can monitor it all you want, but kids are capable to access social media easily, I would know because I did it. If I was one of the young ladies who were bashing that cp, my mom would've taken all my electronic devices. I had an incident when I was a senior in high school and said something off hand about a former teammate and when my mom found out I couldn't have my phone at night. So parents are responsible for what their kid does at home.

 

[kristenthegreat]

Parents are alway responsible for their kids actions and there is never an appropriate time to fight or spew negativity about another person on social media. If my kids are screaming back and forth with a friend, yes, I allow them to work it out. If they take it to social media, they are made to delete it and personally apologize to the people involved. It happened once with the oldest, it never happened again and youngest hasn't tested us. Many parents are quick to say these kids need to "toughen up and ignore it" or "it's their fault for putting themselves out there", right up until it happens to their kid and they realize how easy it is for other kids to jump on the "hate on Suzie wagon" and how demoralizing it really is. I am the first to tell my kids "no one can make you feel badly about yourself without your permission" but, we have to teach our kids how to be decent human beings with some self control. Angry? Go run or eat chocolate.

Ain't THAT the truth. So many situations in life people blame the victim for their own misery/circumstances until that same business happens to them/someone they love.

There's a reason Dante put the hypocrites in the 8th circle. Bad news bears.

 

[Boughetto]

@MzLyn23 You and cp will always find out (quickly) who your true friends are when you change gyms, no matter what the circumstances are behind the change. It is a shame when the owners and coaches cannot lead their athletes and parents by example. The best thing I can recommend for you to do is unfriend or hide people from your old gym on all of your and cp's social media. This way they can say all they want and you will be none the wiser (and none the angrier). Turn this into a positive life lesson for cp.

This is so true! My cp left a gym after being with them for a little over 3 years. We discussed it with her coach and it was done in my opinion in a respectful and professional manner. Fast forwards 2 months and I can attest to the fact that the coaches from cp old gym were definitely not true friends. You see a persons true colors when you no longer benefit them.

 

[UCFKnights07]

Personally speaking anyone younger than 14 shouldn't have ANY social media. Snapchat, insta didn't exist when I was in middle school (Myspace was big then Facebook). I feel like that's the issue. Parents are letting their kids enter this big world and post things on the internet wayy before they are ready.

A 13 year old knows right from wrong. But they don't understand the impact of their actions. I was bullied hard on social media when I was 13 and shouldn't have been on social media, but I didn't get why until much later. I wish parents would stop letting their kids have social media all together. You can monitor it all you want, but kids are capable to access social media easily, I would know because I did it. If I was one of the young ladies who were bashing that cp, my mom would've taken all my electronic devices. I had an incident when I was a senior in high school and said something off hand about a former teammate and when my mom found out I couldn't have my phone at night. So parents are responsible for what their kid does at home.

This.... Especially when those kids end up seeing something on the Internet they shouldn't have, parents then blame the person who put it up instead of themselves for letting their young child have access to that material.
I get times have changed, but I honestly don't see why anyone under the age of 14 needs a social media account.

 

[SL&AM]

This.... Especially when those kids end up seeing something on the Internet they shouldn't have, parents then blame the person who put it up instead of themselves for letting their young child have access to that material.
I get times have changed, but I honestly don't see why anyone under the age of 14 needs a social media account.

Honestly, I have a hard time understanding why anyone under the age of 18 needs a social media account; and even then, some of the college crowd shouldn't be on it either and yet some of the most vicious people I know on social media outage me by decades. Social media and the internet have changed humanity irreversibly, and in my opinion, not all for the good---I conceded that the parents play some role in this, but I don't think we hold our preteens and teenagers to a high enough standard, in general, not pointing fingers at anyone here...I would be mortified if I found either of my daughter's doing something like this either in person or over the internet. The fact that some parents don't feel shame for the actions of their children is what worries me the most about the world my daughter's are entering---I can't control their every move, or every thought, or every action; but I certainly would be making an apology myself alongside my child.

 

[UCFKnights07]

Honestly, I have a hard time understanding why anyone under the age of 18 needs a social media account; and even then, some of the college crowd shouldn't be on it either and yet some of the most vicious people I know on social media outage me by decades. Social media and the internet have changed humanity irreversibly, and in my opinion, not all for the good---I conceded that the parents play some role in this, but I don't think we hold our preteens and teenagers to a high enough standard, in general, not pointing fingers at anyone here...I would be mortified if I found either of my daughter's doing something like this either in person or over the internet. The fact that some parents don't feel shame for the actions of their children is what worries me the most about the world my daughter's are entering---I can't control their every move, or every thought, or every action; but I certainly would be making an apology myself alongside my child.

i dont want to bring up applegate to much, cause im still 50/50 when it comes to that whole situation. and i get it gets harder and harder to monitor kids. its basically a double edged sword anymore when it comes to the internet. and im not a parent myself, but i HATE when parents point all the blame on the person who shared the content and not some on themselves. i dont think its something anyone can really control anymore. Lots of playboy playmates, pornstars and adult companies have social media accounts and vines, etc. these days. All you really can do is block the stuff on your computer and move on, cause there is no written rule on who can and cant have a social media account, and as far as what people choose to share.
The James Deen/ABC interview is something people should watch.

 

[cheerisloving]

This.... Especially when those kids end up seeing something on the Internet they shouldn't have, parents then blame the person who put it up instead of themselves for letting their young child have access to that material.
I get times have changed, but I honestly don't see why anyone under the age of 14 needs a social media account.

I wholeheartedly agree. I can not stand when parents don't parent. I didn't grow up super censored. I could listen to rap, rated R movies. But things my parents really didn't want us to hear, they'd didn't let us hear. If the Shaggy song It Wasn't Me came on the radio, my mother would change the station. They didn't want me on social media because it was during the days where it was very common to see girls meet strangers from the internet, then cyberbullying.

Now a days, I know 5th graders on insta or twitter. And for what? Parents give children iPhones, and basically give them the power. I didn't get a legit Twitter, insta or anything until I was 16. When I knew the right way to use social media. Today, kids are on it and it's crazy. Cheer might be a bad topic, but normal celebrity is worse. Why else does 1D trend everyday on Twitter? Why do they turn against anyone who doesn't like their fave? I really wish I could tell them that this is an awful idea.

 

[quitthedrama]

Often times the 14 year old is more responsible with social media than the adult is. I don't think there is anything wrong with a teenager using social media - as long as they are taught how to use it responsibly. Both of my children have made wonderful friends from around the country that they are able to stay in contact with via social media. My oldest found her college roommate via social media. I have seen an entire cheer world rally around an athlete who was going through a difficult time on social media. Social media itself is a wonderful communication tool. If our children are taught how to use it responsibly, and also how to ignore those who do not use it responsibly, I feel the pros far outweigh the cons.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Often times the 14 year old is more responsible with social media than the adult is. I don't think there is anything wrong with a teenager using social media - as long as they are taught how to use it responsibly. Both of my children have made wonderful friends from around the country that they are able to stay in contact with via social media. My oldest found her college roommate via social media. I have seen an entire cheer world rally around an athlete who was going through a difficult time on social media. Social media itself is a wonderful communication tool. If our children are taught how to use it responsibly, and also how to ignore those who do not use it responsibly, I feel the pros far outweigh the cons.

Even better is when the PARENT takes to social media to "defend" their child's actions.

At times, the nature of my job at school is such that I will address online bullying issues between kids. I've had the offending student's parent get involved in the drama on a couple occasions.

For example, Suzie told Sally to "go kill herself" on Instagram. Sally's parent brought it to my unit admin's attention, who asked me to mediate. I discuss it with Suzie, basically tell her that this is not okay and that she could be disciplined if it continues. Suzie runs and tells mom.

Now SUZIE'S MOM goes on social media to bash Sally, even though Suzie's mom is a grown woman and Sally is a 10th grader.

Yes, really. A grown woman harassed a 10th grader online.

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

There is an excellent book every parent of a girl should read. Queen Bees and Wannabes (was the premiss of the movie). Our elementary did a book club on it years ago and I can just say it was so helpful. Things in it I could apply back to my one little girl in preschool at the time. There was a mean girl (YES PRESCHOOL) there was the girl who fit in only because she brought information... I have seen it time and time again and I have used the tools in the book to help my kids when they are the cause of the problems (how to apologize appropriately - usually with their own sisters) and how to accept and apology. "Thank you for apologizing" because saying "It's okay" isn't right what the person did is not okay and the victim has a right to stand up to the it not being okay.
Regarding social media. There is a reason my kids aren't on it and this is a clear example of why not. It heightens the drama of everything.

 

[SL&AM]

There is an excellent book every parent of a girl should read. Mean Girls and Wannabes (was the premiss of the movie). Our elementary did a book club on it years ago and I can just say it was so helpful. Things in it I could apply back to my one little girl in preschool at the time. There was a mean girl (YES PRESCHOOL) there was the girl who fit in only because she brought information... I have seen it time and time again and I have used the tools in the book to help my kids when they are the cause of the problems (how to apologize appropriately - usually with their own sisters) and how to accept and apology. "Thank you for apologizing" because saying "It's okay" isn't right what the person did is not okay and the victim has a right to stand up to the it not being okay.
Regarding social media. There is a reason my kids aren't on it and this is a clear example of why not. It heightens the drama of everything.

Love that book!

 

[nicolee]

My two cents:

We live in a very social-media-focused world. I'm only in my early 20s, but I still fondly remember a time before Facebook and Twitter, when things were just a little bit simpler... But social media is everywhere, and 8- and 9-year-olds have cell phones and use Twitter, so we have to move with the times.

Twitter is just such an easy way to quickly and briefly express emotions. We all know that when we're upset, or excited, it's such an instinct to run to our phones and tell the world via social media. But this causes problems when people don't think before they tweet.

Parents should be (hopefully) keeping an eye on their child's online behavior, and teaching them how to behave properly. Coaches should be policing things too, lest anything reflect badly on their program. And children, who by the age of 9 should hopefully know the difference between right and wrong, should know what is inappropriate to put online. Social media policies should be clear, and should be enforced, with adults in charge abstaining from tweeting dumb things. If you b**** about an athlete or gym, the children who look up to you are going to follow.

tl;dr, it's everyone's fault. Social media behavior is a team effort.

 

[dawgshow]

I'm one of those parents who let their 10 year old have a social media account. Why? Because she needed to learn how to navigate it safely and responsibly. After looking into all of the options that were popular with that age, we let her have an IG account because it was the safest platform. We have strict rules in place and she knows that we'll enforce those rules. She's responsible for what gets posted and we're responsible for monitoring it.