All-Star So Who Is Responsible??

[cheernerd5678]

There is an excellent book every parent of a girl should read. Mean Girls and Wannabes (was the premiss of the movie). Our elementary did a book club on it years ago and I can just say it was so helpful. Things in it I could apply back to my one little girl in preschool at the time. There was a mean girl (YES PRESCHOOL) there was the girl who fit in only because she brought information... I have seen it time and time again and I have used the tools in the book to help my kids when they are the cause of the problems (how to apologize appropriately - usually with their own sisters) and how to accept and apology. "Thank you for apologizing" because saying "It's okay" isn't right what the person did is not okay and the victim has a right to stand up to the it not being okay.
Regarding social media. There is a reason my kids aren't on it and this is a clear example of why not. It heightens the drama of everything.

I think it's called Queen Bees and Wannabes, but that's a great book! I read it after my mom read it.... Which is strange because I was probably 13 when I read it which is not the target market but I found it interesting and very accurate.

 

[catlady]

Even better is when the PARENT takes to social media to "defend" their child's actions.

At times, the nature of my job at school is such that I will address online bullying issues between kids. I've had the offending student's parent get involved in the drama on a couple occasions.

For example, Suzie told Sally to "go kill herself" on Instagram. Sally's parent brought it to my unit admin's attention, who asked me to mediate. I discuss it with Suzie, basically tell her that this is not okay and that she could be disciplined if it continues. Suzie runs and tells mom.

Now SUZIE'S MOM goes on social media to bash Sally, even though Suzie's mom is a grown woman and Sally is a 10th grader.

Yes, really. A grown woman harassed a 10th grader online.

A girl in St. Louis committed suicide because a mother posed as a boy interested in her because, of girl drama with her daughter. The mother created "Josh" and once the girl developed an on-line relationship with this "boy" , the mom told her (as Josh) the world would be a better place without her and that she was a slut and a liar. The girl hanged herself.

Parents are usually the worst offenders at encouraging the drama. I've heard moms telling girls if more than one friend likes a boy in a group of friends then no one should go out with him and if they do, that girl has put a boy in front of their friendship. I've heard moms spewing ridiculous do's and don't of some "Girl Code" nonsense. WTH?! Until these girls have rings on their fingers we need to be telling them dating is not marriage, it's ok if the boy you held hands with in 6th grade wants to date your best friend Sr. year of HS, people aren't property, people can't "steal" people away from others, to have some self respect and get over it if someone doesn't like them and learn to be happy for their friends. Parents 100% encourage this drama whether they mean to or not and are some of the worst offenders of the not so sub "sub-tweet".

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/us/21myspace.html

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

A girl in St. Louis committed suicide because a mother posed as a boy interested in her because, of girl drama with her daughter. The mother created "Josh" and once the girl developed an on-line relationship with this "boy" , the mom told her (as Josh) the world would be a better place without her and that she was a slut and a liar. The girl hanged herself.

Parents are usually the worst offenders at encouraging the drama. I've heard moms telling girls if more than one friend likes a boy in a group of friends then no one should go out with him and if they do, that girl has put a boy in front of their friendship. I've heard moms spewing ridiculous do's and don't of some "Girl Code" nonsense. WTH?! Until these girls have rings on their fingers we need to be telling them dating is not marriage, it's ok if the boy you held hands with in 6th grade wants to date your best friend Sr. year of HS, people aren't property, people can't "steal" people away from others, to have some self respect and get over it if someone doesn't like them and learn to be happy for their friends. Parents 100% encourage this drama whether they mean to or not and are some of the worst offenders of the not so sub "sub-tweet".

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/us/21myspace.html

That story is so sad.

And yes, Girl Code is pretty stupid.

I have mediated 11th grade bullying situations that stem from Suzie dating a kid that Sally took to Winter Formal during FRESHMAN YEAR. Because "friends don't talk to guys your friends dated." That was two years ago!

And re: subtweets, everyone's favorite party line is "That tweet wasn't even about her! I didn't say her name!"

Depending on what you say, you don't have to be saying a name for everyone to know who you're talking about. And yes, you are still bullying that person even when you don't say her name.

Ex: If you tweet "Omg I hate fake blonde freshmen beotches who think they're so cool bc they're date a senior soccer guy" it doesn't take rocket science for kids who go to your school to figure out who you're talking about. (How many blonde freshmen are there dating seniors on our soccer team?)

 

[Pebbles49]

I mentioned in another thread that I was pissed because I missed valuable teaching time mediating a conflict between 2 six graders fighting over 1 girl's eye color... After spending 2 days on this conflict and having other similar and petty issues like this with other students, the school staff decided we needed a 'Sister-to-Sister' club and I worked as an Adviser. We had a lot of rap sessions with the young ladies and had the girls work on projects, fundraisers and team bonding activities and I think this club helped teach our young people about respect and conflict resolution. We also had a boys club named 'from Boys-to-Men' and it function in the same manner as the girls group.

 

[ScottyB]

I think it's called Queen Bees and Wannabes, but that's a great book! I read it after my mom read it.... Which is strange because I was probably 13 when I read it which is not the target market but I found it interesting and very accurate.

That author came to my high school back in 2004. She tried talking about cliques and groups, etc. all the stuff that happens in middle school, not high school.

Ironically, a bunch of boys 'bullied' her off the stage by not letting her talk and just kept clapping til the whole school joined in. She left quite angrily mid presentation

 

[Pebbles49]

That author came to my high school back in 2004. She tried talking about cliques and groups, etc. all the stuff that happens in middle school, not high school.

Ironically, a bunch of boys 'bullied' her off the stage by not letting her talk and just kept clapping til the whole school joined in. She left quite angrily mid presentation

Wow! @ScottyB, when the students were behaving this way, what were the Teachers and Administrators (Principal, Vice and/or Asst Principals) doing?

Why I asked this question? Those students' behavior is a reflection on how poor behaviors are being addressed in that school.
No way an invited guest will come into my school and be treated in such a disrespectful and despicable manner... I know without a doubt, had these boys done this at my school, the program would had promptly stopped and those boys would had been tossed out for a few days and scheduled conferences with their Parents would had been the only means they could return to my school...

PS: It sounds like your school did not have a Student Code of Conduct that students must show to parents and it is signed off by each party...
Furthermore, the School Board/District paid an honorarium fee for this author to come speak and most likely her fee was not cheap, so I understand her just leaving, she already got her money and had not breached the contract...

 

[UCFKnights07]

I don't know what you people are talking about girl/guy code is the funniest crap I've watched in a long time..

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

I think it's called Queen Bees and Wannabes, but that's a great book! I read it after my mom read it.... Which is strange because I was probably 13 when I read it which is not the target market but I found it interesting and very accurate.

YES you are correct on the name Thanks!!! Will edit original much appreciated

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

That author came to my high school back in 2004. She tried talking about cliques and groups, etc. all the stuff that happens in middle school, not high school.

Ironically, a bunch of boys 'bullied' her off the stage by not letting her talk and just kept clapping til the whole school joined in. She left quite angrily mid presentation

That entire school should be ashamed. An adult in charge should have gotten those boys and pulled them out of the room and called their parents. I would be embarrassed to attend that school.