Split Parenting Time And Cheer?

[cheermommy0729]

Are there any other parents or kids out there who are dealing with this? Cp's dad does not like her cheering. It's been a battle to keep her in it, and her dad and step mom refuse to go watch her. I'm a little worried about this season because although I know have full custody and his visitation time is drastically reduced, it concerns me he will not allow her to go to a competition that falls on his weekend.

 

[kykycheermom]

Ugh. That's a rough situation. I would say maybe if communication is open between the two of you, to sit down with your cp and discuss it, so that he knows how she feels about it. What are his reasons for not wanting her in it? Is it monetary, stereotype, or just him being difficult?

 

[Cheer Dad]

Very tough situation to be in and certainly hoping for the best on it. I had a similar situation on a hockey team I coached. One parent supportive of the son playing hockey and the other not. Not sure if their lawyers were involved but the family altered their visitation schedule during the season to ensure the boy would be with parent "A" for tournament and game weekends and the son stayed with parent "B" on the off weekends. It was balanced so parent "B" still had the son for the same number of days as required by the visitation rules.
Good luck with it and I hope your daughter is able to continue cheering.

 

[TheVipersMom]

I know exactly how you feel; this is totally the situation I have always kind of had!
My daughter cheered tiny1 this past season and the practices were Tuesday and Thursday and Monday tumbling which was fine. It's just every so often the competition would fall on his weekend (and he lives 2 hrs away).
I would tell him far enough in advanced he was ok with it because I would let him have her 2 weekends in a row to make up for it if I could.
Then in January they asked if she could help with mini1 because a girl couldn't be at the upcoming competition. So for a little over a month we had to make mini practices as well which were Sunday's and wednesdays - well Wednesday was ok but Sunday wasn't.
So I kept making him miss his weekend and he was getting furious with me and I was just telling him I will make it up to you in the summer..he is not a happy camper.

He has been telling me he is going to call the police on me if I withhold her. Recent talks of him saying he will just show up at her school and take her and there would be nothing I could do about it. I told him it don't matter if your her dad and your name is on her birth certificate the school isn't going to let you go in there and pick her up without you being on the list. Then he said he will just get her off the bus because it's his daughter; needless to say I'm outside when she gets off the bus.
Luckily she didn't have to make mini practice anymore since the competition is over with now and he has began to see her again.

However, I was concerned with her moving up this year because I figured practice times will stay the same. She made mini1 and youth2 this season but the great news is they practice Monday, Tuesday, Thursday's according to the schedule listed online. If this is correct, I'm so happy it changed because I think he can deal with a few weekends just not every.
Although I am afraid one year it's going to be a Sunday practice and there is nothing I can do about it.

I just don't want to have to pull my daughter out of something she loves just because I couldn't be with the person I had my baby with. It's not her fault so I will do whatever I have to do- I will pay lawyers, fight and take it to court or even move closer to him so she could still cheer.

I honestly know how draining the situation can be; I don't know the circumstances behind it- I just wish you nothing but luck and hope it works out for you and your CP.
I know my story doesn't apply to your situation exactly. I just wanted you to know I understand!

 

[cheermommy0729]

Thanks everyone. His reasons are 1. the injuries, which amuses me because in May of 2009 and July of 2009 she managed to break both her elbows while in his care and has had no injuries cheering. 2. he just doens't like it because she does. He wants her to be a tomboy and play softball etc. She played tball, hated it, I mean sobbed before every practice. I had to bribe her through the season. 3. Just to make things difficult. We have been to parenting classes etc and none, I mean none of it has helped. If we still had shared parenting the judge would have upheld his order for him to take her to all activities but since I now have full custody and his visitation is reduced he won't force his hand but he did tell him that these are the things kids remember etc. We only communicate via email, which IMHO is dumb, we have children together, this is only going to get worse and we need to cooperate. I'm glad I'm not alone though. I am going to email him later in the summer before competitions start and try and work something out in advance

 

[proudcheermom]

I face a similar situation. This past season my daughter did both all-star & rec - it proved to be too much. Her father was willing to switch the weekends needed for comps and practices after much explaining on how important it was for her to carry out the commitment she had made to the teams. Importatnt practices before a comp were the hardest to convince him she needed to be there. However this came with a bit of guilt trip and it was hard for her to go for long periods of time without seeing her dad. She is a junior and will hopefully make a level 4 team this up coming season. In order to continue to do what she loves we decided just to do one all-star team since it gives her the experience she is looking for and I rearranged our visitation schedule for the summer so he can have as much uninterrupted time as possible and I offer to trade weekends for comp weekends if needed. I think it is best to talk with your cp to make sure you understand their wishes and then as parents work together to make arrangements to do what is best for the child.