All-Star The Appropriate Way To Move Gyms.

[NJ Coach]

As a coach, I constantly refer to my athletes as my kids. I didn't give birth to any of them, but I love them dearly (most times :p ) and they become a part of my family. If one of my kids wants to leave at the end of the season, then I support them, but I would like to know. I hate waiting for them to come to tryouts, and they've disappeared. Next thing you know, you see them with another gym. Just let me know...I promise I won't yell :)

I hate losing any of my kids, but I understand it. There are only a handful of kids (can count on one hand) who have left in a manner I disagreed with over the course of my coaching career. Everyone else that has left, did it at the end of the season. I still see some of them, and get a hug hello. They're still my kids, just are not cheering for me any longer.

 

[cupieqt]

cupieqt tells me that ALL the time :)

You should change your eye avatar to an ear. You hear everything.

 

[lovecheering]

You just can't always leave on good terms no matter how politically correct you try to be. At our old gym, you were not allowed wear another gyms signature color at all, or you would verbally harrassed by the coaches. Or just try to hang out with friends at a competition that cheer for that other gym. You would immediately be questioned about where your loyality is. So, at the end of the season, we just left. I didn't tell them, nor did I feel the need to do so. We see them at competitions now and the coaches are complete jerks to my kids. So, if you have coaches and gym owners that are reasonable people, then by all means be mature and let them know what's up. But if they're immature babies .... move on silently because they'll slam you know matter what.

 

[lakerfantlc]

I have seen TOO many nasty transitions when a parent decides they need to move to a new gym. No matter how upset you are about what GYM X did to your child, their IS a graceful way to leave the gym.
I am just going to list some advice for those parents that are in this situation so that they transition gyms as smoothly as possible.

-NEVER quit in the middle of the season. You committed to a team for a FULL year and no matter how bad you hate where your at, Suck it up and finish out the season. Quitting mid season per-conditions your child to think its OK to not finish what they started.
-If your child is quitting, and they are at the appropriate age. The athlete should tell the coach and the team themselves. If you drive yourself to practice, but you have to have your parent break the news to your coach about quitting, not only is that disrespectful to your team and coach, its being a coward.
-Never EVER leave a gym with them feeling bitter towards you. You NEVER know what your going to do in the future and you might want to come back to that gym at some point.
-Never cause a scene in front of other parents or try to solicit their child to leave with you. You will only be making your self look like a fool.
-Never discuss quitting to another parent or athlete if you are even considering switching gyms. Those other parents you complain too, 99% of the time, are telling the gym owner everything you are saying and its going to make you and your child end up being kicked to the curve.
-After moving gyms, talking trash about your old gym doesn't make you look cool, it just qualified you as the psycho cheer parent at your new gym.
-When telling a coach you are moving gyms, have a calm conversation about why you are making that decision. Try not to be to harsh to the coach about what THEY did wrong, but let them know you are doing what you think is best and you feel like the gym is not the best fit for your child. Believe it or not, quitting convos with coaches can actually be a calm and mature. It all depends on your tone of voice, word choice and being truthful. Blaming everything on the coach will never end up well.


Please continue to add any other advise... we all know we have a BUNCH of parents/athletes in the middle of this situation right now.

Sadly there are times when you do ALL these things and still get skewered from the gym you leave...so it goes both ways.

 

[Cheer Cougar]

Don't assume the coaches that you used to talk to and drink with are still your friends, because their loyalty is to who writes their checks!
Don't txt, call, email them to vent. Get over it,... you've moved on!

 

[cupieqt]

You just can't always leave on good terms no matter how politically correct you try to be. At our old gym, you were not allowed wear another gyms signature color at all, or you would verbally harrassed by the coaches. Or just try to hang out with friends at a competition that cheer for that other gym. You would immediately be questioned about where your loyality is. So, at the end of the season, we just left. I didn't tell them, nor did I feel the need to do so. We see them at competitions now and the coaches are complete jerks to my kids. So, if you have coaches and gym owners that are reasonable people, then by all means be mature and let them know what's up. But if they're immature babies .... move on silently because they'll slam you know matter what.

Yes they will. Big red flag is gym bashing. If your gym does this, they will bash anyone who leaves too. Be wary. It's a very immature practice IMO.

 

[lakerfantlc]

Yes they will. Big red flag is gym bashing. If your gym does this, they will bash anyone who leaves too. Be wary. It's a very immature practice IMO.

wow...it's like a mirror image of my experience....my attitude to them....take the high road with gyms like that...less traffic...:)

 

[tumbleyoda]

tumbleyoda you and I would work so well together. I'm printing your post. I really like the Nehemiah reference ; )

cupieqt - Thanks - Just fix the typos. I was tired last night.

What part of Louisiana are you in? Next time I am in New Orleans visiting I will drop by and say hello if it is not too far from there.

 

[CAmamakat]

I'd love to see some tips telling the gym you are leaving the proper way to behave as well...

It isn't always the parent/child that makes the separation ugly.

Amen to that!!! And never trash talk the athlete, their parent or the gym they go to.... Very unprofessional!!

 

[allstarLoVEcheer]

It's at a whole new level here in Las Vegas. I mean it has toned down a bit but I'm pretty sure every athlete has cheered at all the gyms at some point lol. Basically if one person switched all of their friends (and some coaches) would follow. It wasn't unusual to do it in the middle of the season either. But after you would leave one gym no one from that gym would even talk to you anymore and you would make a lot of enemies. It's usually between the coaches and parents but most of the athletes remain friends which is the funny thing. When my cp was at her previous gym we would be at competitions and athletes (and coaches) would be recruiting, I don't know how many times she got asked to come cheer at the "better" gym. I'm very happy at the gym we are at now, she has adjusted to the "cali way" and has learned so much in such a short time. Yes we have lost some friends but we remain respectful to everyone no matter where they are at.

 

[cupieqt]

cupieqt - Thanks - Just fix the typos. I was tired last night.

What part of Louisiana are you in? Next time I am in New Orleans visiting I will drop by and say hello if it is not too far from there.

I'm in Denham Springs, it's in between Baton Rouge and New Orleans so we could def have a visit! We can meet at Mothers : )

 

[Cheer_Explosion_Coach]

This may be rocking the boat, but I just have to ask.....Why does everyone feel that a parent/child has to tell the gym they are leaving? If you stay thru the season, you should be able to just leave after the last team practice/competition. Parents are the paying customers, not the other way around...I don't have a calm reasonable talk with Starbucks to tell them I'm going to Green Bean Coffee.

I agree. I've had a fee kids leave my gym after the end of the year to go to another gym. It's no big deal. I still give them a big hug at competitions and keep up with their skill progression. One day these kids will stop the sport, but they won't stop being people. If you don't love people more than you love cheerleading, you will be consumed by anger and frustration by the end of each season.


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[rosebud]

I'd love to see some tips telling the gym you are leaving the proper way to behave as well...

It isn't always the parent/child that makes the separation ugly.

We finished out the season, they knew half way through the year my older daughter was leaving, they were fine at first but once she left and was at the other gym the trash talking started. what was so funny is that my younger daughter stayed at Gym A while my older daughter went to Gym B so I heard the trash talking by my younger daughter's coach! My younger daughter ended up changing gyms as well the following season mainly because of the way the coaches talked about and treated her older sister and her new gym. Word gets out how you are treated after you leave and it doesn't reflect well if you ask me. You should be supportive and be proud that you helped an athlete grow in their favorite sport. Sportsmanship is what we should be focusing on.

 

[rosebud]

For parents...just be honest...with the owners, coaches, and other parents. If you lie it will eventually be ferreted out, either by other parents or you'll be spotted by your old gym. There is no shame in leaving a gym because you want a more age appropriate team for your child, but be upfront, you never know what a coach is planning for the next year and it may include the team you were looking for.
Owners/Coaches...Don't burn a bridge, you never know if or when that athlete may want to come back. If they have the integrity to be

You just can't always leave on good terms no matter how politically correct you try to be. At our old gym, you were not allowed wear another gyms signature color at all, or you would verbally harrassed by the coaches. Or just try to hang out with friends at a competition that cheer for that other gym. You would immediately be questioned about where your loyality is. So, at the end of the season, we just left. I didn't tell them, nor did I feel the need to do so. We see them at competitions now and the coaches are complete jerks to my kids. So, if you have coaches and gym owners that are reasonable people, then by all means be mature and let them know what's up. But if they're immature babies .... move on silently because they'll slam you know matter what.

honest with you, then have the integrity to stay professional. Our old gym in AZ had a very bad habit of taking it personally when kids left...even to the point of ignoring athletes at competitions or flat telling them if they left they could never come back.

WOW!! our old gym was totally like that!! You couldn't even wear a t-shirt that was the color of a gym they hated or even go to watch any of their teams without having your loyalty questioned!! They were too worried about losing people to that gym and season after season more and more people left Hummmm, wonder why??? Insecurity is not a good thing in a gym!

 

[MyDaughterCheers]

Yes they will. Big red flag is gym bashing. If your gym does this, they will bash anyone who leaves too. Be wary. It's a very immature practice IMO.

I have found this statement to be too true.