All-Star Words Of Advice For Gym Party Reveal

[SL&AM]

Let me preface this with I know this is partly my fault...now that that is out of the way.

CP is 6 almost 7 but with a birthday 8 days after the cut off so she is always a year younger. Though she started cheering at 4 she has switched between Mini to Tiny back to Mini and then to a half-season Tiny when we moved to Florida. At her prior gym they did mock try-outs for the younger kids to prepare them, but whatever age they could field (Tiny or Mini, never both) was the team she'd be on...there was no question.

Until the age switch CP has known, and been told, that this would be her last year on Tiny's because she was aging out. As is, she was the 6 year old that was '5' under USASF rules. Now that, that is not the case and her gym is trying something a little different with teams this season (to be honest, I'm not even sure how to explain it) there are now multiple teams between Tiny and Mini she could be placed on.

Since the age change I've have brought it up a few times to prepare her that she could be a Tiny for just one more season---it's been met with nothing but resistance. As a parent, I want her to be put wherever she is needed and will excel; to be honest, I'd love to never see the Tiny division again, but I trust the staff at her gym and if she is needed there so be it.

When I read through the info packet I realized her gym is doing a reveal party this year, something she's never gone through before, and now I need some advice from those who have done these. I've talked to her more about it over the past few weeks and reminded her that her coach will put her where she is needed regardless of what team it is and after yesterday added that there will be a big reveal party, if she is upset with whatever team she's selected for, I do not want to see one single tear. However, the logical side of me knows if she opens up an envelope to the word Tiny she is too much of an open book to smile like it's not bothering her.

Anyone have any words of advice or things you may have told your CPs that has helped this time of year? I have no doubts she'll do well this year and have fun regardless of what team she's put on, and frankly I know she'll get over it when her only other option is to not cheer, but I also don't want her coaches or teammates to see her in tears for not wanting what she's being offered.

 

[Pebbles49]

I always wondered, the gyms that do these great public reveal parties, etc... makes it mandatory for all the athletes to be in attendance? Is it possible to ask not to have your team revealed in public?

 

[Fiercecheermom]

My CP has not gone through this in public before and am glad of that. Over the years we have had private celebrations/breakdowns when the teams were posted. When I was in HS we had tryouts in front of the whole school AND they called out the new squad there as well. It was always so heartbreaking for the girls who did not make it to have to go through that in front of their peers. Our HS coach now calls each girl in and discusses what team, how they did, and improvements PRIVATELY. I LOVE this, but realize we are dealing with 75 girls not 400 LOL. Dealing with public disappointment/elation is certainly a life skill, but I think a 7 year old can wait a few years for this.
All I can say is that prepare her with several possibilities, let her know you are proud of her, and that she is VERY talented. I wish her GOOD LUCK at tryouts!

 

[SL&AM]

I always wondered, the gyms that do these great public reveals parties, etc... makes it mandatory for all the athletes to be in attendance? Is it possible to ask not to have your team revealed in public?

She is required to attend. I'm not entirely sure how they're revealing; I've heard envelopes which I guess I could stuff in my purse unless they open them together. This gym has never done a reveal before and I also heard maybe color codes cupcakes...or the like, which would be impossible to hide.

 

[MissCongeniality]

I'm just sad to hear that a child your CP's age could be upset by the division her team is in. At that age all my CP cared about was which friends were on her team.
As far as a reveal...if you're really concerned and it's really required.....go in her place because she is "sick". A child that age shouldnt have to be dealing with this kind of "stress" over something that's supposed to be fun.

 

[momsy]

Our gym is doing a gym-wide team reveal this year for the first time. Although I am super excited about how fun this could be for the kids, I did think about the kids who may not be able to maintain control of their emotions if they should happen to be placed on a team that's different from what they wanted. (That includes being openly jealous of another athlete's placement, etc...) I think for MOST kids, this will be a very fun and exciting event. But, for some, I think it has the potential to be very stressful and unpleasant.

 

[SL&AM]

I'm just sad to hear that a child your CP's age could be upset by the division her team is in. At that age all my CP cared about was which friends were on her team.
As far as a reveal...if you're really concerned and it's really required.....go in her place because she is "sick". A child that age shouldnt have to be dealing with this kind of "stress" over something that's supposed to be fun.

If this were her prior gym, the friends thing would be a huge factor. Where she is now, I wouldn't say she has no friends but she's not super close to anyone. We moved mid season so for her to cheer she joined their half year program; from who I saw yesterday, the only girl she was relatively close to didn't come to clinics. There were a few familiar faces but no one she's super close to. This season will be more about making friends I think.

To be honest, I think a lot of her stress stems from watching the older teams. Her desire to excel and work hard has been rationalized as needing to age up to do it. In reality, she's not wrong but you're right it should solely be about having fun but it never has been for her. Even at 5 'USAsf age of 4' when her team placed low, she took it hard and her desire to work even harder rose. As a parent, I'm very low key and attempt to keep her from the high strung parents, but she's the same way in school so I think a lot of it is personality.

I don't want to be 'that' parent that out right refuses to let her see her team at reveal but I also don't think it will be well received if she breaks down either.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

Having a child that's had a lot of highs but many more lows we've had a lot of experience with this.

I'd say it depends on whether you're talking full meltdown or a sad face? It's okay to be disappointed and a sad face would be okay with me. Life can be disappointing sometimes. Let her be sad for a few minutes, maybe even a few small tears. But then move into the pep talk and making the best of the situation.

If you're talking full meltdown hysterics then I'd say don't attend or find another place to open the envelope. Also if it is hysterics then you may need to rethink the whole situation because I guarantee there will be more disappointing reveals.

Best of luck!!

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

Is it possible for you to find out the team and then make your decision based on that? Could you call the coach, explain the issue at hand, and ask them to tell you so you can make a decision on what to do? You don't have to tell her but at least you know what the outcome is and you can better prepare yourself to better prepare her. I know that's a stretch but maybe it's a possibility.

If she does make Tinys again, maybe meeting her new team mates at the reveal will soften the blow a little. Especially if she can find a team mate she clicks with there.

 

[Cheermom1969]

Since it's required she be there and you're concerned about her reaction, honestly, I would make sure we were near an exit and quietly leave if she is about to have a reaction you'd rather she did in private.

I don't like public reveals for just this reason. Give me an email, thankyouverymuch.

 

[Pebbles49]

I think live reveals are wrong and should be by choice...I read some of the postings that says, it is okay our young athletes should get use to this kind of disappointment and will be met with even worse disappointments in life, but as an adult, I never had to deal with public disappointments, there were job interviews I gone to and not get the job, but Human Resources never had to call all the candidates in and publicly reject us, I can read the rejection letter at home and I will be sad, but not as sad as, driving an whole hour to a place and sit and wait for this public reveal...No Thank you!

Last public reveal I recall my daughter going through was her 1st year at her present gym, 2 years ago. The coaches pretty much read off their new team rosters, like draft picks, and her coach made it clear, she only had 1 athlete's name left and all the other athletes, not yet called all began looking at each other, hoping their name will be call in suspense...The coach called my daughter's name and she ran forward to join her team...Afterwards, all the athletes who names were not called were in different states of anger, crying, or both...My daughter revealed, she was happy to make this team, but she felt too shame to show too much happiness...So, I said all of this, to simply say, lets just go back to email/secret posting and teams meeting each other at the 1st practice for the 1st time...

 

[SL&AM]

I'd say it depends on whether you're talking full meltdown or a sad face? I

Her meltdowns aren't really loud or tantrum like, more streaming of tears, red face, and an expression that tends to break the heart of everyone who sees her.

Since it's required she be there and you're concerned about her reaction, honestly, I would make sure we were near an exit and quietly leave if she is about to have a reaction you'd rather she did in private.

Good idea.

Is it possible for you to find out the team and then make your decision based on that? Could you call the coach, explain the issue at hand, and ask them to tell you so you can make a decision on what to do?

Unfortunately, being so very new to this gym, I know the coach but don't really know the coach well enough to call in that type of favor.

Last public reveal I recall my daughter going though was her 1st year at her present gym, 2 years ago. The coaches pretty much read off their new team rosters, like draft picks and the coach made it clear, she only had 1 athlete's name and all the other athletes began looking at each other, hoping their name will be call in suspense...The coach called my daughter's name and she ran forward to join her team...Afterwards, all the athletes who names were not called were in different states of anger, crying or both...My daughter revealed, she was happy to make the team, but she felt too shame to show too much happiness...So, I said all of this, to simply say, lets just go back to email/secret posting and teams meeting each other at the 1st practice...

That is so sad. I agree with you that learning life's disappoints is important in life, but not at six or like this. Disappointment comes in other shapes and sizes, adding a party that could go really, really well or really, really bad just doesn't seem like fun to me. And I guarantee I'm not the only parent who is in this position and if my daughter does cry, I doubt she'll be the only one who does---I remember when I first heard of the idea I thought it was cute, but in practical application...not so much.

 

[notyourcheermom]

Our gym is doing a gym-wide team reveal this year for the first time. Although I am super excited about how fun this could be for the kids, I did think about the kids who may not be able to maintain control of their emotions if they should happen to be placed on a team that's different from what they wanted. (That includes being openly jealous of another athlete's placement, etc...) I think for MOST kids, this will be a very fun and exciting event. But, for some, I think it has the potential to be very stressful and unpleasant.

I am waiting to see if anyone quits on the spot. I know, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but waiting to see how this goes down. They may rethink it and show up to practice Monday or Tuesday, but I envision a line forming. Maybe not. But.......... we'll see.

 

[momsy]

I am waiting to see if anyone quits on the spot. I know, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but waiting to see how this goes down. They may rethink it and show up to practice Monday or Tuesday, but I envision a line forming. Maybe not. But.......... we'll see.

I'm with you - it's going to be interesting! I think for returners, this isn't going to be an issue - the majority feel like it's family, and everyone knows how our gym handles team placements. Sure, there might be some disappointment, but nothing quit-worthy. For the new people? Yeah, I definitely think it's likely we'll see more people quitting. A lot of people are used to being put on a higher level team just because they can throw one skill in that higher level... that isn't how things work here, and that may be surprising to some. It always works out for the best somehow!

 

[cheerKT]

I am waiting to see if anyone quits on the spot. I know, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but waiting to see how this goes down. They may rethink it and show up to practice Monday or Tuesday, but I envision a line forming. Maybe not. But.......... we'll see.

I've also heard of gym giving a time and date for a first practice and not announcing the division/level the team is until people are there. Helps with the automatic quitters, because it's a lot harder to walk away when you're there in front of coaches and seeing/connecting with other teammates.

So maybe this is a spin on that, without actually having the practice. Maybe the gym is hoping cheerleaders will immediately see and connect with their teammates and coaches, cutting down on the initial disappointment. I'm still not a big fan of it, I think everyone need a little bit of personal time to celebrate or process and get over it.