OT Colleges :)

[Tosh]

How much critique are you looking for? I may go overboard....I get your story, but Opering, grammer and punctuations are all over the place...ie
Your first sentence should be a full sentence, remove the comma
you should not use the word "Can't" it should be "can not"
4th should be spelled out as it is under 10
4th line down " I love everything about it"....it what? too vague. Say what it is "cheerleading"....etc.
Let me know if you need help and I can continue and message you.

Thanks,
Shayne

 

[TinyBlondie15]

How much critique are you looking for? I may go overboard....I get your story, but Opering, grammer and punctuations are all over the place...ie
Your first sentence should be a full sentence, remove the comma
you should not use the word "Can't" it should be "can not"
4th should be spelled out as it is under 10
4th line down " I love everything about it"....it what? too vague. Say what it is "cheerleading"....etc.
Let me know if you need help and I can continue and message you.

Thanks,
Shayne

Thank you! I'm not the best at writing essays so all critique is welcome!

 

[omgitssydthekid]

I start my first day of college tomorrow...panic mode is starting! At least I only have two classes tomorrow!

 

[Tosh]

Thank you! I'm not the best at writing essays so all critique is welcome!

I tried to past it with the changes tracking, but I could not get it to work. I am no expert, but I fixed what I thought was incorrect. It would not let me post it in a message because it is too long. Good Luck with everything

"Life can get hectic and stressful at times. Sometimes individuals feel that living is not worth the stress. Humans need a healthy outlet to release this stress. For me as an individual, cheerleading is my option for that healthy outlet. I have been a cheerleader since the fourth grade and I have loved this sport from the first day it was introduced to me. I love everything there is to about cheerleading, especially being a cheerleader. I love the team environment, the family atmosphere, and even the long practices that leave you so worn out you can barely walk. This year; however, I did not make the school team because I lacked the required skills necessary and I was not able to do the competition team. Naturally, I was upset. It was my senior year and I would not be on the sidelines cheering my team to victory nor will I be able to experience the rush of competition one last time before leaving high school. My whole outlook changed when I got the opportunity of a lifetime: the opportunity to help coach young girls for the local recreational league. Coaching these young girls has brought life and meaning to the quote “..Somewhere behind the athlete you've become, and the hours of practice, and the coaches who pushed you, and the teammates who believed in you, and the fans who cheered for you, is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. Tonight -- perform for her." When I demonstrate something with the other coaches for the girls, seeing the light in their eyes makes me smile. Their want and desire to reach the stars and become cheerleaders warms my heart. Knowing that I have inspired them makes me see that life is worth the stress. What good have you done in life if you have not shared your love for something with someone else? I feel that everyone needs to feel the joy of inspiring a young person at least once in his or her own lifetime. It makes one feel good about themselves and when an individual feel good about themself, they are happy. When an individual is happy, others around them are happy too. "

 

[TinyBlondie15]

I tried to past it with the changes tracking, but I could not get it to work. I am no expert, but I fixed what I thought was incorrect. It would not let me post it in a message because it is too long. Good Luck with everything

"Life can get hectic and stressful at times. Sometimes individuals feel that living is not worth the stress. Humans need a healthy outlet to release this stress. For me as an individual, cheerleading is my option for that healthy outlet. I have been a cheerleader since the fourth grade and I have loved this sport from the first day it was introduced to me. I love everything there is to about cheerleading, especially being a cheerleader. I love the team environment, the family atmosphere, and even the long practices that leave you so worn out you can barely walk. This year; however, I did not make the school team because I lacked the required skills necessary and I was not able to do the competition team. Naturally, I was upset. It was my senior year and I would not be on the sidelines cheering my team to victory nor will I be able to experience the rush of competition one last time before leaving high school. My whole outlook changed when I got the opportunity of a lifetime: the opportunity to help coach young girls for the local recreational league. Coaching these young girls has brought life and meaning to the quote “..Somewhere behind the athlete you've become, and the hours of practice, and the coaches who pushed you, and the teammates who believed in you, and the fans who cheered for you, is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. Tonight -- perform for her." When I demonstrate something with the other coaches for the girls, seeing the light in their eyes makes me smile. Their want and desire to reach the stars and become cheerleaders warms my heart. Knowing that I have inspired them makes me see that life is worth the stress. What good have you done in life if you have not shared your love for something with someone else? I feel that everyone needs to feel the joy of inspiring a young person at least once in his or her own lifetime. It makes one feel good about themselves and when an individual feel good about themself, they are happy. When an individual is happy, others around them are happy too. "

Oh my good golly gosh! Thank you so much! You are amazing! That is exactly what I was aiming at but I just couldn't seem to get the words right.

 

[cheerheart4life]

Just started my application to UCF!

 

[TinyBlondie15]

Just started my application to UCF!

Once I'm done with my Oregon app then I'm doing my UCF!

 

[cheerheart4life]

I want to go into gene therapy but UCF only offers a biology major. Do you think it's okay to just get a major in biology an then masters in genetics or do I need to go to a school with a bachelors in genetics?

 

[Nothanks]

I want to go into gene therapy but UCF only offers a biology major. Do you think it's okay to just get a major in biology an then masters in genetics or do I need to go to a school with a bachelors in genetics?

I'd talk to someone in the field, but that probably would be acceptable...I can't see too many schools offering a major just in genetics. (or, it's been that long since I've looked at majors offered lists, haha)

 

[cheerheart4life]

I'd talk to someone in the field, but that probably would be acceptable...I can't see too many schools offering a major just in genetics. (or, it's been that long since I've looked at majors offered lists, haha)

Thanks! I looked into it and I just need a biology related Bachelors degree and then I have to attend an accredited institution to become a genetic counselor for my masters

 

[TinyBlondie15]

Hey cheerheart4life I sent in my UCF application!

 

[njallday]

I want to go into gene therapy but UCF only offers a biology major. Do you think it's okay to just get a major in biology an then masters in genetics or do I need to go to a school with a bachelors in genetics?

it's probably way more common get a bachelors in bio and then masters in genetics. I actually had no idea that was available as an undergrad major anywhere.

I'm sure it would prepare you for grad school a little more if you major in genetics now, but it won't hurt you to go into it with a degree in just bio.

good luck! that's an awesome field!

 

[cheerheart4life]

it's probably way more common get a bachelors in bio and then masters in genetics. I actually had no idea that was available as an undergrad major anywhere.

I'm sure it would prepare you for grad school a little more if you major in genetics now, but it won't hurt you to go into it with a degree in just bio.

good luck! that's an awesome field!

Yeah and if I change my mind and want to go into any of biology field than I can! Thanks it all fascinates me!!

 

[melisssaacheerfreakk]

I'm currently going into my Junior year. So far these are the colleges I'm interested in. I'll be going into Nursing. Anyone know anything about these schools?

-Quinnipiac University
-Southern Connecticut State University
-NYU (Probably won't happen)
-UMass Amherst
-Pace University, Pleasantville
-Drexel University

 

[Deleted member 1556]

I'm currently going into my Junior year. So far these are the colleges I'm interested in. I'll be going into Nursing. Anyone know anything about these schools?

-Quinnipiac University
-Southern Connecticut State University
-NYU (Probably won't happen)
-UMass Amherst
-Pace University, Pleasantville
-Drexel University

UMass has a great Nursing program, and it's really competitive to get into.