All-Star Hairgate 2015 - Mom Upset Daughter Is Off The Team Because She Wont Straighten Hair For Competitions

[NJ Coach]

If I had to guess (using my coaching as experience), there's a lot more to this. This isn't about hair. She may have contacted the media and told them about hair (and really? why does the media think this is a story), but hair was the straw that broke the camel's back. My guess, whatever she has been unhappy about (and I'd guess it's probably a list of things) built up and she probably let loose. No gym is going to want to remove a kid at this point in the season, unless it's serious. I'm sure WE is competing really soon, and now that team will have to rework everything.

While hair is never a big deal to me, I completely understand WE's stance...and since I know how things like this usually go down, I'm siding with the gym.

 

[SL&AM]

Check out a comment that one dude (his screen name is Rafael Venegas) left about the mom:

"What a coincidence, I had a confrontation with this lady about 2 years ago at a 24 hour fitness gym. She thought she was the owner and could do whatever she wanted at the gym until she met me. This woman thinks that she can get away with anything with her bad attitude. Now she embarrassed herself and her daughter....good luck finding a new cheer gym. I have two daughters that cheer at Woodlands Elite and yes I have disagreed several times on the way things are ran, but in the end they make the rules and it is what you sing up for. My daughter's are in different teams and both teams require a specific hair style, make up and uniform. If this little girl has been cheering since 4 years old, then she should know how things are, stop crying and get a life (mom)."

So she's known for having an attitude.

We kinda figured there was more; still not really siding on either side at this point, but this doesn't surprise me. Sadly the only one that gets hurt here is the kid and that is the shame out of all of this.

 

[Official OWECheer]

We kinda figured there was more; still not really siding on either side at this point, but this doesn't surprise me. Sadly the only one that gets hurt here is the kid and that is the shame out of all of this.

What often happens in cases like this is that the kid has no problem trying to compromise, and is actually being mature, but they are silenced and overpowered by a crazy parent (whose behavior ends up reflecting on them).

 

[SL&AM]

What often happens in cases like this is that the kid has no problem trying to compromise, and is actually being mature, but they are silenced and overpowered by a crazy parent (whose behavior ends up reflecting on them).

Yup, I've been the kid in that situation with the overzealous, crazy mom and it sucks. In elementary school I did drama and wasn't cast my 6th grade year (cast in 5th grade since it was my first year at that school) because my mom went crazy over my costume requirement. In middle school I lost out on advancing in band because she screamed about a concert date. In high school, she was the reason I stopped dancing at my HS and went to All-Star. At my AS studio, I found that she fit in perfectly...sigh. So yeah, I feel for the kid a lot.

 

[NJ Coach]

What often happens in cases like this is that the kid has no problem trying to compromise, and is actually being mature, but they are silenced and overpowered by a crazy parent (whose behavior ends up reflecting on them).

Or the kid knows how to push mom's buttons, and thinks she'll get HER way cause mom goes crazy. I've seen both happen equally.

 

[Mndl]

For those who haven't read the article-- WE did try to compromise:

"Kevin Tonner said he was ready to compromise with Fallaw in that meeting to keep her on the team.

".....said Tonner. "We were trying to make the exception. We were trying to find a compromise and a happy medium. And she wasn't willing to have a compromise. She was very defensive."
Fallaw said she wasn't going to compromise her daughter's natural beauty and talent."

It's the "wasn't going to compromise her daughter's natural beauty and talent" line that annoys me. How is straightening her hair compromising her talent?

 

[cheerisherlife]

It's the "wasn't going to compromise her daughter's natural beauty and talent" line that annoys me. How is straightening her hair compromising her talent?

I read a comment on Facebook posted by another WE Mom that WE's compromise was to drop the the girl down a level to another team that was doing curly hair as their hairstyle. If that's true, maybe that was what the mother meant by compromising her talent?

 

[CheerBank]

It's the "wasn't going to compromise her daughter's natural beauty and talent" line that annoys me. How is straightening her hair compromising her talent?

She was like Samson. The power of the back tuck was in her curls.

@cheerisherlife If that is true, I don't consider that a compromise by the gym. More like a slap in the face.

Cp often doesn't know how they are wearing their hair for the season until closer to the first competition so it would actually surprise me if hair was discussed before the season started. And sometimes it even changes competition to competition.

 

[MissCongeniality]

Now I know why CP's team got silver... It was their hair!
Joking aside (though they did get silver ) I feel like we had to curl hair for cheer (stick straight in CPs case) far more than we had to go straight. And the biggest hair killer was the years they opted to crazy tease the curls. Anyway, we opted for extensions last season. Thank you FB moms for the recommendation. They were a saving grace!

 

[Keep_Believing]

@CheerBank More than one compromise was offered. The mother was rude and disrespectful. For this reason they were asked to leave the gym. WE works hard to maintain a positive family environment. My oldest CP has thin/oily hair. Last season her teams style was a Poof and lots of teasing. Her hair does not hold a Poof/bump or tease. I could pay the top hair stylist in the world to fix her hair and there would still be issues. The expectation was that we try our best. We tried. They were happy with that. We have never had any issues.

 

[KPep]

Oh my God it's just hair...!!!! It grows, you cut it, you color it, you shape it to a hairstyle, you wash it, you dry it.... for all your life! What could be more ordinary than hair? ... Okay I know you'll find something.

But anyway, all the hairstyles I had to do for dance and cheer don't even have an impact on my life today. My "beauty" isn't suffering because I had to crimp my hair a few years back! My talent didn't suffer because I had to put a incredible amount of spray so my curls could stay where they had to!

Yes you can damage your hair in the long term but we are talking about straightening for a few competitions. But OMG, again, it's just hair!!! We are not talking pastic surgery, dang it! What's next, changing gym colors because it doesn't fit your complexion? Heck I had to wear orange for a few years and it didn't refrain me from cheering all the way up to level 6 in college! Natural beauty wasn't my priority, which seems to be the case here.

And yeah, natural beauty, let me have a laugh here. You have to wear a ton of makeup on stage. Why didn't she complain about that? It probably hides her natural beauty as well, no?

So cry me a river. You won't get any pity of me.

 

[SL&AM]

I read a comment on Facebook posted by another WE Mom that WE's compromise was to drop the the girl down a level to another team that was doing curly hair as their hairstyle. If that's true, maybe that was what the mother meant by compromising her talent?

I'm going to take this with a grain of salt because who knows where the truth lies---but if this is true, I'm definitely not on WE's side. I come at this from a very different angle because my hair is part of my identity---as a child I was very sick and underwent chemo for a few years, thus starting school without hair. Not only were my peers horrible people about it, but adults were way, way, way worse. As an adult, I'm mostly over it but even the mere thought of cutting my hair makes me wanna cry. My situation is unique and I realize most people don't have that sort of connection to their hair, but this just makes my heart hurt for this kid even more.

 

[TealShades]

I don't if this is part of your culture or ethnicity but most native girls I know are weird or particular about their hair. The longer and straighter the better. My mom would say if a native chick came into the salon she would cring because they would want her to cut their hair. They would say cut 3 inches so she cut 3 inches and they would freak say it was too short. I get its only hair but I don't know hair has different importance to some girls or women.

 

[cheercurl]

Hmm...if you read the comments to the article there are several messages that mention on going issues at WE? Has there been a change in ownership/coaching? They have always been a pretty classy gym. If this lady is stirring the pot because she doesn't want to straighten her daughters hair she may be in the wrong sport.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I read a comment on Facebook posted by another WE Mom that WE's compromise was to drop the the girl down a level to another team that was doing curly hair as their hairstyle. If that's true, maybe that was what the mother meant by compromising her talent?

If that's the case then WOW.

Hmm...if you read the comments to the article there are several messages that mention on going issues at WE? Has there been a change in ownership/coaching? They have always been a pretty classy gym. If this lady is stirring the pot because she doesn't want to straighten her daughters hair she may be in the wrong sport.

All left by the same person, ItsOnlyCheer.