All-Star Hairgate 2015 - Mom Upset Daughter Is Off The Team Because She Wont Straighten Hair For Competitions

[randomactsofcheer]

@randomactsofcheer, I guess I am feeling and agreeing with this mom and her cause because I wondered the same issue. Yet, I sat on the sideline and went along, to move my daughter up...So, I can imagine exactly what the compromise was- Shut up and do it our way or we will do a smear campaign to make you look like a SM to the world...

I actually experienced and heard this story from a Mom and a Daughter and actually thought this was their story when I initially opened the thread... When this Mom told me her story, it was so hurtful and the least SMish reaction... The Mom in my situation felt she could not compromise and I directed her to a gym that offered acceptance of her daughter...
Btw,
I have to applaud WC in that regards... I was totally surprise when the coaches told me they did not care how my daughter wore her hair, and believe it or not, I strive to make my daughter fit the look, but I made tweeks here and there too. I can understand uniformity when it comes to the uniform, motions, jumps, etc... But I draw the line on anything that damage the person's body, hair or psyche...

PS: Another reason why I regard hair as sociological issue- In the AA community hair and skin complexion played a big part in defining and judging each of us and I think, this hair business is no different from judging us based on skin complexion...It is just done in a subtle way...jmo

Just an FYI... I don't think this girl is a member of the AA community. Unless she is adopted or has a different father than the one in the video... If she is, it might slightly change my view of the situation.

The gym isn't the one that went to the media, the mother is. I don't see how the gym is trying to smear the child or the parents' names. I thought the gym's response was incredibly professional, especially given what these parents are publicly accusing the gym of doing. We don't know the terms of the compromise that was offered. But there was a compromise offered and this family chose not to accept it. And instead of then trying to find a gym that better suited their needs as any other reasonable parent would (like your friend), they chose to contact the media and accuse the gym of kicking her daughter off a team for having curly hair. Their daughter was not kicked off of a team because she has curly hair. She was kicked off of a team because she would not style her curly hair in the way the gym wanted her to. And when the gym tried to compromise with her, it sounds like the parents refused to do so in a fashion that made the gym decide that the drama of having this kid on the team was just not worth it. And WE was right. These parents confirmed that WE made the right decision by throwing a tantrum in front of the media. At this point, they want attention. I would not be surprised if they were trying to posture themselves for some sort of discrimination suit.

 

[randomactsofcheer]

@Pebbles49 Please don't misunderstand my argumentative intentions. I think what happened to your friend is absolutely wrong. I just don't think this case involves any sort of discrimination. Just two very dramatic parents protecting their very special Susie.

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

@Pebbles49 while I recognize that the conversation you are trying to have here is an important one, I don't think it holds water in the context of cheer, where appearance is a REQUIREMENT to participate. Much like dance. Or gymnastics. Or equestrian/showing horses. Or marching band. Or a lot of things. I'm sorry to say that in many of these activities, race aside, if you don't want to look the part then you can't be a part.That's how the world works. The world is unfair. (Side note: I always like to say "The world is fair because it is unfair to everyone." Kind of an optimistic twist on a pessimistic saying.)

The reason the media posted this is because it hit so many points on the social justice scale that they knew it would get people talking about social issues. The media LOVES social issues. Society LOVES social issues. We get to see people become vilified and publicly shamed. The media knew this was the perfect story to go viral. They knew how easily the race issue could be brought into this. But the original issue wasn't about race. It wasn't even about hair. At the core, it was about an SM.

@randomactsofcheer - I agree with you on the positioning themselves for a discrimination suit. It's like a whole new level of SM.

 

[Pebbles49]

@Pebbles49 Please don't misunderstand my argumentative intentions. I think what happened to your friend is absolutely wrong. I just don't think this case involves any sort of discrimination. Just two very dramatic parents protecting their very special Susie.

@randomactsofcheer, I guess you don't know me well, I enjoy the bantering and exchanging of different ideas, I learned we grow as people when we can peacefully talk and discuss... No apology needed!

 

[randomactsofcheer]

@randomactsofcheer, I guess you don't know me well, I enjoy the bantering and exchanging of different ideas, I learned we grow as people when we can peacefully talk and discuss... No apology needed!

I just don't want you to think I have it out for the curly haired people of the world. Believe me, they are my people. ;)

 

[Pebbles49]

@Eyes On The Prize, I have to disagree in the regards to the different sports you mentioned... There have been changes in most of the individual subjective sports and I like to think Title 9 is the reason behind those changes too. I know in a few years, this bantering we are having about cheer and hair will be a non-subject and we will be back to strictly talking about uniforms, etc...

 

[cheer25mom]

@Pebbles49 I get the sensitivity about this, but I just don't think THIS issue with THIS mom is the kind of issue you are talking about. Based on everything that she and the gym have said I think that hair was only one of many problems she caused at the gym, and the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I don't think they are innocent victims of an unfair gym. I think they are a family that has tried to throw their weight around one too many times.


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[Official OWECheer]

I agree with others that there is more to this story thank just hair. My hair is VERY similar to that child's hair. It is a HUGE PIA to get it straight but its definitely possible. I would have no problem doing it for 6 competitions. CP has coarse hair, not as curly as mine. We straighten it for competitions and other times as well. Does the mom have a problem with the excessive makeup? That doesn't support her "natural" beauty either.

YES about the makeup.

And don't tell me mom is about to sue....

 

[cheer25mom]

@Eyes On The Prize, I have to disagree in the regards to the different sports you mentioned... There have been changes in most of the individual subjective sports and I like to think Title 9 is the reason behind those changes too. I know in a few years, this bantering we are having about cheer and hair will be a non-subject and we will be back to strictly talking about uniforms, etc...

It's definitely still true with dance and marching band/ color guard. You either do correct hair and make up for dance line and color guard or you don't take the field. I have had to do curls in hair that doesn't curl and pin up waist length hair to make it appear shorter because it wasn't uniform. I have had to French braid a bob and make it work, period. I have sewn in fake buns. You name it, I have had to do it for me or CP for dance or cheer, including making fine, straight hair look like the girl in this article. You either do the hair or don't dance.


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[Official OWECheer]

It's definitely still true with dance and marching band/ color guard. You either do correct hair and make up for dance line and color guard or you don't take the field. I have had to do curls in hair that doesn't curl and pin up waist length hair to make it appear shorter because it wasn't uniform. I have had to French braid a bob and make it work, period. I have sewn in fake buns. You name it, I have had to do it for me or CP for dance or cheer, including making fine, straight hair look like the girl in this article. You either do the hair or don't dance.


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Exactly, that's just the nature of being part of a performance sport.

 

[Pebbles49]

@cheer25mom, I played a flute and clarinet in a HS Marching band and never worried about my hair... I used to get pissed off because my hair will sweat out under that big hat with the plume on it, we all were required to wear... But I was never required to damage my hair follicles or risk not playing...Nope, never happened in the 4 years!

 

[gofriars610]

I had to sew in one of these bad boys every dance competition for about seven years:

If you dyed your hair, you had to buy a new hairpiece. If you cut you hair, you had better make it work. Thin hair? Get some hairspray and bobby pins. Thick or curly hair? Tie it in tight and bobby pin the crap out of the strings. No exceptions. And this was dance, not cheer--my dance teacher just liked how the uniform curls looked on everyone.

 

[randomactsofcheer]

YES about the makeup.

And don't tell me mom is about to sue....

I don't doubt that thought has crossed her mind. Why else would you want to unleash the media on your daughter's former gym. I can guarantee that she single-handedly made it nearly impossible for another gym to want to take them in.

If anything, WE might have grounds for a defamation suit. All of these media outlets are reporting that this girl was kicked off the team for having curly hair, when even her parents have admitted publicly that she was kicked off for not wanting to style her hair in the required fashion. And WE said they were trying to compromise and make an exception, but the parents got heated so they were asked to leave the gym. Take a look at the WE Facebook page. They are already receiving negative ratings over this from people who have never even been in the gym.

 

[Pebbles49]

@cheer25mom, My daughter dances now and during her last performance, she wore afro puffs and looked darn good doing her dance... She received a standing ovation from the crowd and everybody mentioned how good her hair looked flying about her head.. FREE!...

 

[123jump4!]

Kids have different color hair and different length and thickness hair... so I'm still struggling to see why straight or curly is such a big deal. I'm just talking in general now, not about the case in particular.

Nice high pony with bow facing forward and no fly-away hair is my favorite simple hair policy!

This is not a personal thing for us, my CP's hair could probably be styled/abused into any style. I'd just rather not have to worry about stuff like that. And I feel bad for those who have to damage their hair or pay money for wigs etc when it doesn't affect the score of the sport (?) they love!