I Need Advice! Help With Teenagers!

[bobbi]

I have been coaching in our all star program since it started 5 years ago. When it started we had a core group of 9&10 year old years. Now those same girls are 14 & 15 and they are AWFUL! They come into the gym with terrible attitudes and REFUSE to work as a team. They are very talented but have no heart. I have tried everything, team building activities, being nice, being mean, being flexible, being strict, new coaches, new members, nothing has helped. I dont know what to do about it. The coaching staff are unhappy, the girls are unhappy and the season is turning out miserable. We are actually considering not having a senior team at all next year. HELP!

 

[FAB5NJSE]

i was on a team exactly like this, what you have to do is not act like a friend, act like coach. If you don't act like a friend in the first place, then you should kick them out when they act like selfish jerks. Cause this sounds like a team with little respect for eachother and sometimes these girls won't change. i don't want to sound harsh, this is just from experience with a recent gym i cheered at. My new coach, she doesn't play favorites, and maybe you have favorites with some of the girls youve known for the 5 years. Also, my new coach is VERY strict, if you don't abide by her rules she will let you know and sometimes this scares people and puts them in their place. Don't let the girls walk all over you, show them whose boss.

 

[bobbi]

i was on a team exactly like this, what you have to do is not act like a friend, act like coach. If you don't act like a friend in the first place, then you should kick them out when they act like selfish jerks. Cause this sounds like a team with little respect for eachother and sometimes these girls won't change. i don't want to sound harsh, this is just from experience with a recent gym i cheered at. My new coach, she doesn't play favorites, and maybe you have favorites with some of the girls youve known for the 5 years. Also, my new coach is VERY strict, if you don't abide by her rules she will let you know and sometimes this scares people and puts them in their place. Don't let the girls walk all over you, show them whose boss.

Thank you so much for your advice, this is actually what has been repeated throughout the coaching staff. And so we did start cracking down, and being very strict and the back lash has been shocking. The girls are resisting even MORE and it is been very challenging to get on the same page at all. The coaches end up spending the whole practice conditioning the girls and yelling then working on their skills. The biggest issue by far has to be the respect for each other. It is just shocking. Whats been hardest is we have a few hard working girls who come to every practice ready to work, and this core group of girls makes up about 10 of the 20 girls. I have had half a mind to throw them all out, but the back lash on the remaining girls would be devestating. As a result punishing the biggest offenders results in punishing and pushing away our most talented, hard working girls. ugh =(

 

[_haybaby]

I have been on teams like this before and they are no fun! Sometimes the thing that got throughou to the team the most was to sit down and have a serious talk. This way you can get to the bottom of the problems that tear the girls apart, fix them and grow as a team. The teams that can pull their strength together as a team usually end up winning every competition. I hope this helps! Good luck!

 

[marissa.d]

try also talking to their parents
they may not be aware of their kids behaviors, and im sure most would not approve of it
its not your job to discipline them for their attitude.. its your job to coach them
and when it becomes impossible, you might have to turn to the people where the punishment is up to them
also try what imacharlotteallstargirl said about the serious talk and ask them if they REALLY want to be there.
it might even help to have individual conversations with them so that what they said wouldnt immediately effect the other girls

 

[newcheerdad]

Teenagers are a challenge to coach under the best of circumstances. But when things aren't going well...it becomes very difficult.

When I was a freshman in HS, half of the players on the varsity soccer team protested an earlier decision by the head coach by basically ignoring him during a practice. His response was to remove all of the offending players from the team for the last two games of the season, which cost us a chance at state.

You can try everything, but if the attitudes are really that bad then sometimes you need to do something drastic. At the very least, you need to pull those athletes aside individually and explain to them that things need to change or they'll be removed from the next competition, or even from the team altogether. And in the future, clear expectations for behavior need to be established and disciplinary actions need to be clearly laid out if those expectations aren't met.

It punishes the hard-working more if the bad apples are allowed to continue to be on the team, because it gives them impression that you can act however you want and not face serious consequences.

 

[FAB5NJSE]

Thank you so much for your advice, this is actually what has been repeated throughout the coaching staff. And so we did start cracking down, and being very strict and the back lash has been shocking. The girls are resisting even MORE and it is been very challenging to get on the same page at all. The coaches end up spending the whole practice conditioning the girls and yelling then working on their skills. The biggest issue by far has to be the respect for each other. It is just shocking. Whats been hardest is we have a few hard working girls who come to every practice ready to work, and this core group of girls makes up about 10 of the 20 girls. I have had half a mind to throw them all out, but the back lash on the remaining girls would be devestating. As a result punishing the biggest offenders results in punishing and pushing away our most talented, hard working girls. ugh =(

I know this sounds like ridiculous but i've seen it work, condition the girls hard core after practice for 30 mins, but only the girls who do the resisting. You'll whip them into shape haha i've seen it happen! After a while they'll realize that they are sore after every practice and they'll dread having to do the conditioning and then they'll most likely stop with their behavior because they won't want to condition after practice! if they still resist, then i honestly would not keep them on the team.

 

[XoxLibertyallstarsxox]

best advice i can give seeing as i am a teenager is
A) Have a serious talk with them and tell them that they need to knock it off and start working together.
B) Talk to their parents as someone above said
C) Talk to them individually so you can see if something is really bothering one of them
D) Call home or email home. I know I would dread having my coach do that

 

[Mightymouse34]

You have to remind them that cheering is a privilege, not a right. That you don't have to coach them or deal with there poor work ethics, and if things don't change then changes are going to be made.

 

[Katybugmom]

Thank you so much for your advice, this is actually what has been repeated throughout the coaching staff. And so we did start cracking down, and being very strict and the back lash has been shocking. The girls are resisting even MORE and it is been very challenging to get on the same page at all. The coaches end up spending the whole practice conditioning the girls and yelling then working on their skills. The biggest issue by far has to be the respect for each other. It is just shocking. Whats been hardest is we have a few hard working girls who come to every practice ready to work, and this core group of girls makes up about 10 of the 20 girls. I have had half a mind to throw them all out, but the es. back lash on the remaining girls would be devestating. As a result punishing the biggest offenders results in punishing and pushing away our most talented, hard working girls. ugh =(

I think the 10 hardworkers would be so thankful if you got rid of the others. If you go down to a small good group you will attract more serious athletes. As long as you let these girls ruin it for all, your program may never recover. IMO

 

[Diamond]

I think you should take the team/coaches to a camp. One of those camps where working as a team is a must to get through obstacle courses. Something like a FFA or FCCLA camp.

 

[Goofygoobergeri]

I've had a cheer season like this, it is truly not fun for the girls, or coaches.
Even though it seemed like everyone just hated eachother, it was actually one girl who started it all.
Later she got kicked off (for other reasons) and the team really came back together.

But now the whole team all left to other gyms, except for one girl.