All-Star Senior Restricted 5

[goddessmommy]

YEP. I told girls a LONG time ago that I was taking this year off (finalizing adoption of our foster kiddo) and that come spring, I was not going to be doing privates so they'd better try to get in somewhere else. I have NO LESS than 10 inquiries from HS clients in my inbox right now who are going to be very sad.

All year long chilling out, going to the movies with your boyfriend, being all "whatever!" about getting your skills (particularly for those who will NEED tumbling to move up to a Varsity or comp squad.)

Then April hits and it's OH LAWD JESUS IT'S A TRYOUT.

AND I AIN'T GOT NO BACKHANDSPRING OR NOTHING JESUS!

You'd better ROUND OFF FOR YOU LIFE! #ain'tnobodygottimefothat

I laughed so hard I choked. This is our first year and CP is only 5, so we KNOW we are not moving off Tiny but I hear the moms talking about this stuff (the older girls) and I have promised myself we will NOT be like that. You work ALL YEAR. A mom on my team asked when the girls are supposed to learn these new skills when they don't practice them during practice-that's what privates and open gym are for! But don't wait til the week of tryouts!!!

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Then there's "Oh, my daughter is trying out for our gym's 5 team so we need a private to work on her full. She has a solid layout."

After private, mom comes to pick up and asks why we spent her private on layouts and not fulls.

Because I'm a trained professional and your daughter's layout is about a solid as Jello. She's about as ready for fulls as I am for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue at 5 feet tall.

If that qualifies as a solid layout in your gym and "ready for fulls", I am gripped with fear for your daughter and her limbs.

You're welcome to find someone else to teach your kid a full who doesn't care if she eats mat and loses every tooth in her mouth. It just won't be here.

I swear I have this conversation about fulls at least 10 times every spring. Same with BHS. People want so badly to rush those two and it still drives me nuts and I've been coaching for awhile.

 

[Cheeranswers]

My favorite:

Kid shows up and she's about as close to a BHS as I am to Japan. Like, she needs Jesus. Not a private.