OT Heartbreak Advice..

[littlebear]

This may seem silly and pathetic, but I've just had my heart broken for the first time, and I feel like it's the end of the world. I really need someone to talk to. All my family and friends just hate my ex now, and all they're saying "it's gunna get better". But I don't believe that. I really need someone to talk to.

 

[CoachTamara]

Feel free to PM me or anyone on here. There are tons of people that have been in the same situation. I remember my first heartbreak vividly, and trust me-it does get better!

 

[cheersdominique]

It's a process. For me, I had to learn to forgive. Hating your ex will eat you up inside. Your feelings for this guy have to fade, before you can fully forgive and move on. That's what's going to take the longest, the first few days I felt like nothing was getting any better but slowly I started to notice that they were. Also, get your butt in the gym. Cheer makes everything better.

 

[kristenthegreat]

I had what many people who have heard the story call 'The Breakup of the Century' (Think worst-case-scenario trashy bad cheesy rom-com flick, although everyone feels like their breakup is 'the breakup of the century')..and so I can safely say any hurt and pain and confusion you are feeling is normal. It never feels like it's going to be better. It's not until you suddenly realize that it doesn't hurt so bad that you begin to accept the moving-on process. I denied myself the wallowing, and now I have a very deep-rooted anger towards my ex. I like to deny it, but it's still there at times. If you'd like to PM me, I've got an open ear.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Oh sigh...

First off, this is NOT silly. Or pathetic.:kiss:

I have lived this so many times. Feel free to PM me if you really need someone to talk to - I just went through a pretty heart breaking break up myself, and I have to say that even at 38 it still hurts. The difference is that at 38 I have the wisdom that I've gained from many other breakups to know that it really will get better. If you can get your hands on a book called "It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken" do so. It's hilarious and helpful and FULL of good advice that will actually help you see the breakup for what it is. I know people mean well, but "It'll get better" just isn't advice and isn't helpful.

I know right now you feel like you will NEVER, so long as you live, feel that way about another person again...but I promise you, you will. But it takes time. And you know what? It's ok to feel sad, lost, and broken hearted. It's ok to cry and feel the hurt and scream and come on FierceBoard and vent. When we go through break-ups with someone and are really hurt it's human nature for those closest to us to "hate" the person who hurt us. But it's a lot harder for YOU to hate that person and "get over it" - and that's normal. It's all part of the process.

Like I said, PM me if you need to.

 

[Mamarazzi]

littlebear , it helps to have a friend. Just-a-Mom has been my saving grace since last summer. And if she could have, she wouldve FedEx-ed me some chicken wings and a bottle of...to get me through it.

 

[aggie1983]

"it will get better", "he didn't deserve you", "he wasn't the right one", " there is someone better out there for you"
Yes, they are cliches, but they are cliches for a reason,......... they're true. Most of us here have been there and know how awful it is, but (insert cliche #1.) I love what cheersdominique said, get in the gym. You may not be doing this, but shutting others out and moping around never helps the blues, but getting out and working out does. You'll feel better about yourself and you get those lovely endorphins hopping. Plus, please be patient with your family or friends who may be telling you things you may not want to hear right now, they may be talking too much, and sometimes it may not be truly helpful, (hmmm, this post maybe?)but it is because they care.