All-Star Multiple Arrests For Local Gym Owner!

[flcheermom]

Let's just say it was you who got the DUI because you had two glasses of wine and drove home from a restaurant because, after all, you can't sleep at a restaurant. You weren't tipsy, you didn't feel drunk, you weren't even driving erratically.

Would you continue to parent your child or throw the towel in and tell someone else to take over?

I'm just playing Devil's advocate. I'm by no means condoning endangering the lives of others.

And by the way, I'm so sorry you've had several people in your family all killed by drunk drivers. What are the chances of that? How horrible. I'd probably feel the same way.

I have my own personal feelings, and this topic is very sensitive and can be debated back and forth - but you don't always realize you are too impaired to drive - you may feel fine - but your reflexes and reaction time can be affected. I personally would never want to put myself in that position of causing an accident (when I had consumed alcohol) that caused someone else harm or death. One could say accidents happen daily where alcohol was not the cause - but knowing I had drinks and then chose to drive even though I didn't feel impaired - and caused an accident would be very hard to live with. I am sure a lot of people who drink and drive and cause accidents felt they were perfectly fine to drive, that's why they were driving. There is also a professional aspect for me and my job, I would not put myself in that position. There are alternatives, so I don't really think there are excuses for drinking and driving. I have been personally affected, so I am sure I feel different then some who think they can have a few and are perfectly fine.

 

[getsum]

the new york and chicago bike share programs were mentioned as alternatives to driving when intoxicated. if one is so impaired that they cant drive, they definitely wont be able to ride a bike perfectly as a bike requires lots of balance. the mishaps could range from lol to being splattered across the road or causing other vehicles to crash. doubt people bring helmets with then to the club/bar. finally, depending on the state, one can get a dui, cui (cycling under the influence here in ca and an arrestable offence, had no idea this was possible until i saw my neighbor coming down the street with a patrol car behind him with the lights flashing. he took the breathyzer test and was arrested.) other states will charge one with disorderly conduct, drunk in public, being a danger to others, all of which can be arrestable offences.

and for those of you out in kentucky thinking, "ill just ride my horse to the club and back", think again...



so this begs the question: would you pull your cp from a gym where the coach/owner got a dwi... while on a horse?

 

[catlady]

Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has sped? Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has been distracted (eating, radio, heater, a/c, phone, kids, dropped something....)? Do you know everyone's perscriptions before you get in the car with them such as, anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants, sleep aids? I'm not defending any of the above; drinking, medications, speeding, and distractions are all preventable and unacceptable. It is for that reason I believe people need to seriously evaluate their own decisions on the road before they decide people need to lose their businesses and not be in charge of kids for their poor choices.

Again, I don't know this owner, he may be the most responsible or irresponsible guy around but, I don't think as outsiders we are able to make that determination based on a DUI charge.

Drivers.com: Top 3 Causes of Car Accidents in America
Top 10 causes of Car Accidents

 

[kristenthegreat]

Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has sped? Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has been distracted (eating, radio, heater, a/c, phone, kids, dropped something....)? Do you know everyone's perscriptions before you get in the car with them such as, anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants, sleep aids? I'm not defending any of the above; drinking, medications, speeding, and distractions are all preventable and unacceptable. It is for that reason I believe people need to seriously evaluate their own decisions on the road before they decide people need to lose their businesses and not be in charge of kids for their poor choices.

Again, I don't know this owner, he may be the most responsible or irresponsible guy around but, I don't think as outsiders we are able to make that determination based on a DUI charge.

Drivers.com: Top 3 Causes of Car Accidents in America
Top 10 causes of Car Accidents

Which is why every time I get in the car with my brother, his phone is in my lap and the radio is under my control.

I'd never bike in NYC while drunk, it's difficult enough SOBER in some places. Depending on where I am and my potential intoxicated level (am I going out for 1 or 2 at happy hour or is this a "night out"?), determines ahead of time whether or not it's a subway or cab night.

I've never been drinking in the suburbs where I didn't have a des/wasn't already staying overnight. Is it really that hard to find a cab service/call someone to come pick you up?

 

[getsum]

Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has sped? Have you or your kids ever been in a car with someone that has been distracted (eating, radio, heater, a/c, phone, kids, dropped something....)? Do you know everyone's perscriptions before you get in the car with them such as, anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants, sleep aids? I'm not defending any of the above; drinking, medications, speeding, and distractions are all preventable and unacceptable. It is for that reason I believe people need to seriously evaluate their own decisions on the road before they decide people need to lose their businesses and not be in charge of kids for their poor choices.

Again, I don't know this owner, he may be the most responsible or irresponsible guy around but, I don't think as outsiders we are able to make that determination based on a DUI charge.

Drivers.com: Top 3 Causes of Car Accidents in America
Top 10 causes of Car Accidents

i was looking up stats, on a highway saftey government site, yesterday and found that 10300 people died due to duis and 10200 people died from speed related accidents in 2012. then i got confused when another place stated that 45% of those involved in those dui related deaths were found to be speeding. i was then left wondering if those were included in the 10200 tally. probably. if so, then that would mean 5565 deaths were due to speed with no dui involved. either way, both of those tallies are rather high and may result in one questioning why convicted speeders arent vilianized like those convicted, or arrrsted for that matter, for dui.

 

[SL&AM]

Let's just say it was you who got the DUI because you had two glasses of wine and drove home from a restaurant because, after all, you can't sleep at a restaurant. You weren't tipsy, you didn't feel drunk, you weren't even driving erratically.

Would you continue to parent your child or throw the towel in and tell someone else to take over?

I'm just playing Devil's advocate. I'm by no means condoning endangering the lives of others.

And by the way, I'm so sorry you've had several people in your family all killed by drunk drivers. What are the chances of that? How horrible. I'd probably feel the same way.

I know this wasn't arrested directly to me, but since I love playing DA, and realize the point you're trying to make this is the same reason why I don't drink and drive. And by don't drink and drive, I mean not even a sip. Do I like certain alcohol beverages? Yes. Will I drink them in public if I know my husband can't drive home (he drinks socially moreso than I do) absolutely, and without a doubt, no. Not even a little...not even a sip. Why? Because as a responsible adult I know better. The same rule applies to my husband, he can order any drink on this Earth but he knows those keys go straight to my hand. It's just the way it is---it doesn't matter if he orders a beer or a cocktail, any alcohol is too much alcohol.

So, would I throw in the towel on my own children? No, because I will never (have never) put myself in a position where that would even be an issue. Sometimes being OCD is cool---in this instance, my OCD shows really brightly.

As for the latter, you'd be surprised---most people either know someone who has been hit by a drunk driver or know someone who has been injured and/or killed by one. The latest push is texting and driving, and while DUI related incidents are down statistically, they've never gone away.

 

[SL&AM]

I've never been drinking in the suburbs where I didn't have a des/wasn't already staying overnight. Is it really that hard to find a cab service/call someone to come pick you up?

Depends on the area. I've always lived in areas where cabs were a thing, and the military tends to put provisions in place ahead of time---in Germany they had Courtesy Patrol run throughout the night on weekends so those who needed a ride back got one, though everything was in walking distance in Germany anyway. In Kentucky and Missouri, cab services were always around as were people to call. Nothing annoyed me more when my husband was still active than getting a call at 3 AM on a Sunday morning because he needed to go in because someone got a DUI. Seriously, most annoying aspect of the military.

 

[Rudags]

Why? Because as a responsible adult I know better.

Would you have said this when you were 25? Or 19 for that matter?

 

[ErinS]

Bullitt Central cheerleaders involved in suspected drunk driving crash - CheerDaily.com

 

[flcheermom]

Would you have said this when you were 25? Or 19 for that matter?

I can't speak for anyone but myself - but at 19 I was going to school, and I knew the consequences. At age 25, I was married with 2 of my children, working professionally. I have always made a conscious decision even when young regarding this particular topic. Am I perfect in other aspects of my life? or with some other decisions? of course not, but I can control that decision.

 

[SL&AM]

Would you have said this when you were 25? Or 19 for that matter?

At the age of 19 I was married to my husband and starting his first year long deployment to Iraq, by the time I was 25 I had both of my daughter's so your answer is yes. Like I said a few posts ago, I didn't have the greatest childhood and I recognize that those experiences caused me to grow up very quickly. I didn't partake in underage drinking, I've never tried an illegal substance, and I don't text and drive or speed under normal circumstances. I'll fully admit to telling my husband to break every single Autobahn speed limit as I started uncontrollably bleeding while pregnant with my eldest after I stepped into the middle of a New Years Eve fight (not on purpose, the door opened at the wrong moment).

I'm not a saint and I'm not perfect, and I know this sounds like I'm on the highest horse imaginable, but this is a topic where I can pretty much claim Sainthood. And I won't attack you personally, I read your post and I appreciate the lesson you've learned as a result. But my opinions of DUI/DWI stands and has stood since I had to be pulled out of the backseat of a car by firefighters with blood gushing from my chest because my central line---the line that was vital to giving me chemo drugs at the time, was ripped from my body just by the force of the impact. Our car was hit close to head on, swung three full times, before being split by a telephone pole---let that sink for a second. I realize severity is objective, but one sip is too much regardless of gender or weight in my eyes.

 

[Rudags]

I realize severity is objective, but one sip is too much regardless of gender or weight in my eyes.

I agree, and I commend all of you for being so "responsible" so young. Perhaps I was a late bloomer. Hey, better late then never. I honestly didn't consider, nor was I ever taught that you should drink ZERO if you are driving. I feel I was brought up with don't get slammed on alcohol and get behind the wheel. No one ever said "Don't have even a few social drinks because it can have an effect on you." Not making excuses for my actions, only implementing I genuinely didn't "know better." Ive always been a responsible drinker in a sense I will never have more than a beer or two if I am driving.

*This is not just directed at you since I quoted you, only a generalization post*

Since my incident, I have not drank and drove. For one, I got my DWI in Illinois, which is the worst absolute state to get one in. Secondly, there is NO taxi cab, hotel room, or whatever you need for transportation too expensive compared to a DWI in Illinois. NOTHING. With that said, live and learn. The only point I am trying to make is it sounded like people with DWI's were being severely judged; but yet everyone opened up to not being perfect and having their own mistakes. As I said in an earlier post; I have been through a lot in my life, and I rock every scar I have from the past proudly. I'm open about mistakes, accomplishments, etc. and I feel if others were too; more people could learn. I agree to the OP's post (whether it was posted maliciously or not) that gym owners AND coaches should have a sense of responsibility when it comes to their reputation. I know I sure do. However, there is a fine line about what goes on outside the gym and inside of the gym. I know our industry as a whole could use some Jesus in their lives. I don't have kids, and perhaps when I do, my opinion will change, but I think unbiasedly, more factors needs to be looked at when deciding to pull your kid(s) from a program then an isolated incident. Most coaches I know would do ANYTHING for their kids. I know I have changed many kids lives; from kids struggling with depression, to schoolwork, to struggling sexuality identity, bullying, skills, parents; you name it. My past doesn't define me. There could be more to the story than the OP posted (I actually didnt see it; only generalizing from what people have said) but if I had a kid in a program and the owner got a DUI, I would probably leave my kids in the program if I felt they were safe. Now if the owner was ever in a position to drive kids to practice or drive kids on a bus somewhere, absolutely. Bye Felicia. I am sure there are plenty good "un-tarnished" role models in that gym. Just how when you may have a kid in your program that is a "bad apple" - don't let one bad apple ruin the entire bunch. This will probably be my last post in the group as I feel I have said my peace and some of may just have to agree to disagree. With that said... *Mic Drop*

 

[ACEDAD]

@Rudags Every situation is different. I would probably be comfortable with you driving me or my children around, but I know you and have seen how you deal with people over a whole bunch of years.

With someone else, I might not give them that pass.

But that's why the DISCUSSION is good because it gets all those opinions out in the open.

I've been in the car with someone that got pulled over because they were suspected of drunk driving. They did all the tests and passed and the police officer let us go. Would I have thought any differently of that person if they failed? Absolutely not.

But, again, it's because of the specific relationship.

 

[cheer25mom]

Would you have said this when you were 25? Or 19 for that matter?

I did. NEVER got behind the wheel with ANY alcohol in my system. Just too risky.
At 19 it would have caused me my scholarship, at 25 the life of my infant.

As to not judging people, yes absolutely, when what you are doing has no effect on me, I have no right to judge, but DUI puts EVERYONE around that person at risk. We as a society have every right to say it is wrong to get behind the wheel impaired. IMO, it is knowingly putting the life of someone else at risk.

 

[newbiemom]

My reaction would be different if I found out the mistake had been made in their past and they learned from it vs. a recent mistake, while they are responsible for children and should be holding themselves to a higher standard.

Unfortunately, very few things in life have easy answers... there is always more to a story that what is known upfront.