All-Star Seriously?

[armycheermom]

When I was a kid, there was a time when my family qualified for government assistance. Yet during that time I continued to play competitive travel soccer, in part because of the generosity of my club, in part because my parents scrimped and saved what little extra money they had to keep me in the program.
If you've never been poor, you don't understand. I've rarely met someone who likes being on welfare or getting food stamps. But if I were to listen to some of the people on this thread, I shouldn't have been playing, and it was irresponsible of my parents to spend that extra money on soccer. Maybe there were people who thought that back when I was playing, but my parents did a good job of insulating me from it.

Both my husband and I grew up in poor, in the projects of Chicago . I have 5 siblings and my husband has 14 siblings, with absent fathers and single moms, who worked their butts off, but still needed help from the government. And there is no way that either of of them, would have been able to drive 2 hours away and pay $300 a month for an sport. It was hard enough just keeping all of us fed, so yes, I understand.

I just hate judging people without knowing their situation. She hasn't fallen on hard times??? She is living in a borrowed room with her kids. In my book, that sounds rough. And perhaps the $250 she has leftover (which isn't enough for a place of their own) provides some sort of normalcy that is much needed for her daughter for whatever reason. We don't know what this family is going through, or what stuff brought her to this point. Why must we assume she is abusing the system? I am not saying she isn't, I would just prefer to think the best of people without knowing differently.

Perhaps she got divorced (or Dad died), and her daughter was slipping into a depression and she worried about her becoming suicidal or turning to drugs. So friends offered to let them stay in their room just so that she could use the small amount they have left to give the girl that normalcy for her confidence. A stretch? Perhaps. But that's the point. We don't know.

Isn't everything just relative?

Could an argument be made that you (meaning, MOST of us) should be putting more money aside for retirement rather than "wasting" so much money on something silly like cheer? Won't MY tax dollars be paying for YOU down the road because you are ill prepared to live comfortably when you are older. I'm only looking at your status: "private cheer lessons + ipad 2=broke! My cp better take care of us when we're old!"

That being said, I spend way too much for cheer, and have almost nothing saved for retirment, so maybe someone else can pay for both of us 40 years from now. I may very well look back and wonder what that extra $300 a month could have done in a mutual fund.

Not getting personal, I promise you. I just think we need to support each other more. Glass houses, you know?

I am putting away money for retirement and have been for years. Both my husband and I have worked for years and we are still working. We been married for 30, my husband has 24 years in the military & is still going strong and my daughter is 17. We had 10+ years before we had a child, so for 10 years, we put away for retirement and even after she came, we still mange to give her things, we never had and put away for retirement. Was it tough? Yes. Do I sometimes wish, I could afford to get a $5 cup of coffee, 2-3 times a day? Yes. But the ipad/cheer status was a joke! I will not allow my cp or your tax dollars pay for me in my old age. It's not your job, nor is it my daughters job. I want you both to live happy lives, spending your money on $5 cups of coffee and ipads, not taking care of me, when i'm old. My daughter has both of things, because, if you look above, I never had it and neither did my husband. And for years, we never thought we would ever have a child.
We were lucky to have our daughter, so yes, we do spoil her more than the average child, but at the same time, we teach her values, like not depending on others to take care of her and her kids, if she has any of the future.
From the information, we are getting, it doesn't seem like this is a normalcy in her cp's life. The new to the gym, her cp is on a lower level team and they drive 2 hours away. Seems more like the mom wants it. Now it may be a normalcy in her child's life, as it is in all of our kids life, but as much as cheer is a normal in my daughter's life, so is having her own room and being able to run to the kitchen and grab a snack. If we did ever fall on hard times, cheer is the first thing to go, in my home. This story has a lot of gaps and from what I know, she sounds like the octo-mom, but with less kids. And as much as you (not personaly you, but everyone saying we're judging) say we shouldn't judge, aren't you judging me? But again, this story has a lot of gaps and we i'm just basing my feelings on what I know.

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

i really apprecite everyone's opinion's and all of the responses have me agreeing with each of you and i am on the fence as to whether i think it is horribly wrong to be putting out that much money on a child's activity if you need help paying for food or not. i also see the other side -with a child whose parents don't have much having their child in an activity that would keep them busy and out of trouble. i guess i was raised that if times were tough you go with the bare necessities and eliminate extracurricular things. i could see being on public assistance and treating the family to a dinner out once in a while or taking the kids out to a movie so they can have some normalcy. but we are talking about $250 a month for a child's activity, that really isn't "normal". to me that's a lot of money! i think i would be more comfortable (if the situation is as we are assuming) if she was at least working or not saying "i don't know how i am going to work if we have to be here at 6".

as mentioned earlier also i have put thought into why she was even telling me this on our second practice. is she setting the stage to buddy up so that i can take her cp to all of our out of state comps? trust me when i say that i will be friendly and chit chat and such. but unless there is a heck of a lot more to the story i doubt i will be having her over for cocktails.

i have also tried to leave out some other specifics that i would love to mention to try to keep it a little anonymous so if someone else from our team or even her are on here it will be harder to figure out. i guess i am a little naive to think that even though there are thousands of gyms in the contries represented on these boards our location could remain a mystery. and with my being new to the board it is harder to figure out but as cheerfan27 said, pretty soon my location may be figured out. and now that cupieqt has me scared about my consequences i am gonna go and change my screen name. :help:

 

[cupieqt]

I truly hope there are no bad consequences you face. This is a great thread!

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

I truly hope there are no bad consequences you face. This is a great thread!

lol, me too!

 

[armycheermom]

@mybabywantstotumble ,we were raised the same way. In my home, it was hard enough to keep food on the table, so paying $250 a month on a extracurricular activity, wasn't even something considered. There are a lot of gaps in her story, but this was a great discussion and I hope that there are no bad consequences! :)