All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

[JumpingJackFlash]

Coming from a coach who has yet to be a mommy, but who has a great one:

-There is a huge difference between being encouraging and overbearing. Encouraging is "Come on honey, you've got this" when the child is nervous: overbearing is "Come on, just do it already, I wanna see you do _______." It scares the bajesus out of me when I see parents encouraging kids to throw standing tucks when I know for a fact that Suzie doesn't have it. It also puts me in an awkward situation when I have to tell you in front of your child that she could get really hurt because she's just not ready yet.

-Be in the gym, at least a few times a month if your gym allows it. Every practice can get boring, but at least stop in to see your kid's progress. There are kids in my gym that are getting skills that their parents will probably only see once or twice on the competition mat, even if that.

-Be that parent that goes absofrickenloutely bananas while her kid is performing. Make signs, get cowbells, start that gym chant, beat on the stage. It kills me to see programs where the kids are sick talented and the parents golf clap to the beat the whole routine.

-Your cheerleader is NEVER too old for you to stop going to her competitions. Share a hotel room. Turn it into a mother daughter weekend. My mom and I spend every competition together. We souvenir shop together and sit and watch all the teams. We take notes on all of them and bet on how they'll rank. It's her chance to be totally involved in my passion. We're going to Worlds together next year and someday she'll co-own my program. My point being, no matter what your teenager says, they will never regret the fact that you were there to see them perform.

Please, NO NO NO, to the cowbells! The rest is great!

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

Bring something, it doesn't have to be an iPad, but boy I was happy to have one, to help you with the 12 hour days. Love other people's children too...cheer your CP on like there is no tomorrow, and be respectful. Respect the coaches, the cheerleaders, your children and the other parents. If I've learned anything, it's that there are tons of different types of people, from different types of backgrounds that participate in this sport. And try not to close your eyes, it all flashes by in a second.

 

[cheergirlbrey]

Our old gym owner gave this advice at every parent meeting: Wait 24 hrs before going to the coach/owner with issues you may have after practice. Often emotions, tiredness ect. get crazy over small things and if it's still as important to you the next day then address it...it's surprising how many things are not! I have to say that I have taken this into many other areas of life.

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Please, NO NO NO, to the cowbells! The rest is great!

Can't help it...showing my age... one of my favorite SNL sketches.... "we need more cowbells"
Okay so personally not a major fan of cowbells but preferred to the air horns which always end up in the hands of someone's obnoxious brother who does not want to be there... best is the cheer mom who then slaps said brother's arm and starts to chastise him

 

[TheUltimateFan]

I agree and I am probably hypersensitive right now because of non-cheer issues going on. But the flip side of that is that not everyone appreciates being told they are parenting wrong and should do it this way (which is very much how it sounds when you post a list of do's and don't's for parents to follow, as opposed to posting what your own personal experience is and what YOU do). I didn't take it so much as "downing" my life as just disregarding it.

I'm still sticking with what I've said this whole time - how you say it matters.

I am trying to track my way through this thread and the whole iPod question. Why is a parent who can afford an iPod less entitled to advice that MAY work for them than parents who can't afford an iPod? Advice is advice put out there for whoever can apply it or chooses to apply it. It's thoughts, ideas, suggestions from which everyone and anyone can pick what they feel might work for them within their own personal environment and circumstances.

Does there have to be two threads? "Advice to Parents who can afford an iPod" and Advice to Parents who Struggle to Pay for Cheer"? Would it have been OK to say "Bring a good book OR an iPod to read" because that would be politically correct or more sensitive?

I think the point was missed here. One person was suggesting a way to pass the time if you CHOOSE not to observe every second of practice, others were saying they CHOOSE to watch practice. Personal CHOICE. The iPod is a suggested accessory to one option, not the option itself - bring something to occupy your time if you choose not to watch or aren't allowed to watch practices.

 

[TheUltimateFan]

I am trying to track my way through this thread and the whole iPod question. Why is a parent who can afford an iPod less entitled to advice that MAY work for them than parents who can't afford an iPod? Advice is advice put out there for whoever can apply it or chooses to apply it. It's thoughts, ideas, suggestions from which everyone and anyone can pick what they feel might work for them within their own personal environment and circumstances.

Does there have to be two threads? "Advice to Parents who can afford an iPod" and Advice to Parents who Struggle to Pay for Cheer"? Would it have been OK to say "Bring a good book OR an iPod to read" because that would be politically correct or more sensitive?

I think the point was missed here. One person was suggesting a way to pass the time if you CHOOSE not to observe every second of practice, others were saying they CHOOSE to watch practice. Personal CHOICE. The iPod is a suggested accessory to one option, not the option itself - bring something to occupy your time if you choose not to watch or aren't allowed to watch practices.

once again, too late. iPad, not iPod.

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

Can't help it...showing my age... one of my favorite SNL sketches.... "we need more cowbells"
Okay so personally not a major fan of cowbells but preferred to the air horns which always end up in the hands of someone's obnoxious brother who does not want to be there... best is the cheer mom who then slaps said brother's arm and starts to chastise him

You haven't lived until you have been to a competition with 12stepCheermom 's gym, lol. Vuvuzela's for all, and they ALL use them. They always win the spirit award.

-Be that parent that goes absofrickenloutely bananas while her kid is performing. Make signs, get cowbells, start that gym chant, beat on the stage. It kills me to see programs where the kids are sick talented and the parents golf clap to the beat the whole routine.

I have to say, behavior at a cheer competition is certainly a learned behavior. Coaches, if you have a gym that is not overly enthusiastic, sometimes you will have to initiate the enthusiasm. Get a group of really good parents together and have them host a sign making night for the other parents, sell cowbells through the gym, just all around encourage them to get into the sport more. Just like kids learn how to make facials and be fierce on stage by emulating the older kids in the gym, parents learn to be supportive in an acceptable manner, and what is over the top, from the other parents in the gym, and also from the coaches. It takes a lot for adults to lower their inhibitions and just go crazy.

 

[12stepCheermom]

You haven't lived until you have been to a competition with 12stepCheermom 's gym, lol. Vuvuzela's for all, and they ALL use them. They always win the spirit award.


I have to say, behavior at a cheer competition is certainly a learned behavior. Coaches, if you have a gym that is not overly enthusiastic, sometimes you will have to initiate the enthusiasm. Get a group of really good parents together and have them host a sign making night for the other parents, sell cowbells through the gym, just all around encourage them to get into the sport more. Just like kids learn how to make facials and be fierce on stage by emulating the older kids in the gym, parents learn to be supportive in an acceptable manner, and what is over the top, from the other parents in the gym, and also from the coaches. It takes a lot for adults to lower their inhibitions and just go crazy.

Haha <3 thanks! I will say you're exactly right. It just takes a core group of people to make it happen. There's really about 6 families that get all that going. My DH does all the signs and organizes them on competition day...because he's OCD someone will turn one the wrong way and we won't have spelled our own gym name right....that would be an EPIC FAIL! I bought a boatload of noise maker stuff and bring it all to the competitions in a big bag. I hand it all out, stadium horns, whistles, cowbells, etc. etc. at the beginning and just as folks to give it back before they head out. Sme of it disappears but that's okay. I keep Clorox wipes in the bag to wipe them down. I'd rather bring it and take it back so people don't forget it at home.

We've got about 4 dads two run our flags. They even showed up on the varsity Facebook page at king of the jungle. But in all, it's really me and the DH and about those 4 dads that get that rolling. Our flight crew loves it and participates, they just don't think to bring that stuff themselves so I do.

We actually got called down at king of the jungle for using artificial noisemakers during the performance. They said the crowd couldnt do it because it was "distracting" to the kids competing.....um...theyre OUR kids...and frankly, they freak out if it's NOT crazy loud flight crew insanity in front of them. We were good rule followers but we made up for it before the music started

I got to give it up to elite cheer and dance in Raleigh as well, they bring the noise too!

 

[CoachMandiCF]

My advice?
Place forks and knives upside down when you load them in the dishwasher. This way cp doesn't stab herself when she unloads it.

And now everyone at work is looking at me because I just busted out laughing. Kudos

 

[2cheer1here]

I have to say..I started this thread titled advice as a vent thread hahah..you have to realize that although I probably haven't been around as long as some in here I have been around and seen a lot more than others and sometimes we need to give advice to those mothers that are going to sit in the parent room and make it uncomfortable and bad experience for the other moms. If you are one of those moms and you know if you are...then take the advice..if you aren't then don't. I thought that we could all take little pearls of wisdom from other cheer moms as the new season starts and pick and choose what we like and say umm no to the rest...you know kind of like when our relatives give us parenting advice lol..

Isn't that what we are here..One big ole fierceboard family??

 

[ipaysheflies]

I don't sign my kid up for privates, that's how I afforded the iPad.

I love our 1 hour drive, we talk about everything. How practice went, what she's working on, the Circus Afro video on you tube, how she has improved, school, her future, boys, bullying, it's our time. I'll never complain about the drive because it's my favorite part.

Me too, this time is priceless to me. It's uninterrupted time and we have our best conversations during that time. The pre-teen attitude is turned down low, I'm receptive to her and she is pretty receptive to me. I may have to tell her to put her phone away a couple times though first :-/

 

[gymcatmomx2]

I understand what you're saying, but speaking only for my child, we did have to choose. She came to this sport 3 years ago not even knowing how to do a round off, after playing travel softball since she was 5. It was only supposed to be an intro tumble class during a 2 month softball break.

We did both the first two years, but it did get to the point that we had to make a decision. Not just for her- but for her teammates. It was not fair to her teams for her to miss practices, ballgames, or competitions. We make a 3 hour round trip drive to cheer and it doesn't leave a lot of time to do other things. Even if we were close by, there would still be problems.

We pay so much money to do this, and I will admit that it really ruffles my feathers when we can't practice stunts or the pyramid because the same kids repeatedly miss practices because they want to play volleyball, do school cheer, be on the track team, try out for drama, etc. You know the amount of commitment it takes when you sign up for this very expensive sport. In my opinion, if you can't fulfill that commitment to your team, you shouldn't sign up.

I realize that is probably not what you're talking about- if your kid is able to do multiple sports without missing practices, games, or competitions, then I think that is great and should be encouraged. It has just never worked out that way for the cheer teams we've been on. There is always conflict. And it almost always drives our coaches insane.

Sorry for the mini-rant. Nothing personal and I didn't mean this to be aimed at you. I'm mainly just griping about some of the parents/kids in our gym lol.

I read through the entire thread and have to say that I can honestly understand every poster's position on being a cheer mom. I had to go back and search for this one because I wanted to give my perspective on kids who are involved in other activities besides all-star cheer. And believe me, I completely understand about athletes missing practices and how frustrating it is. At our gym, 95% of the girls also do school cheer but our gym owner does a fantastic job of taking into consideration the respective school schedules.

I have 2 CPs, one is on our Sr4 team and is also on her high school JV cheer squad. My youngest is on our Jr4 team and is on her middle school cheer squad... and they both play the viola in their respective school orchestras. My oldest is going on her 5th competitive season and her 3rd year of school cheer and this will be her 6th year as a member of the orchestra. The money that I spend on these 3 activities is crazy... that's why we still drive older model cars!

Neither of my girls have missed more than 2 practices a year, and they were always excused absences. My oldest missed her very first competition this year because we had already paid for her to go on the orchestra trip, which was scheduled months in advance, and the competition was added at the last minute. The coach was aware of this conflict and had plenty of time to find a replacement for her.

In my opinion, I believe that kids can particiate in other activities besides all-star cheer... you just have to be super organized and communicate with everyone well in advance of any conflicts. I will continue to support my CPs in these 3 activities as long as they both enjoy it and they continue to keep their grades up.

 

[Ashley]

I am trying to track my way through this thread and the whole iPod question. Why is a parent who can afford an iPod less entitled to advice that MAY work for them than parents who can't afford an iPod? Advice is advice put out there for whoever can apply it or chooses to apply it. It's thoughts, ideas, suggestions from which everyone and anyone can pick what they feel might work for them within their own personal environment and circumstances.

Does there have to be two threads? "Advice to Parents who can afford an iPod" and Advice to Parents who Struggle to Pay for Cheer"? Would it have been OK to say "Bring a good book OR an iPod to read" because that would be politically correct or more sensitive?

I think the point was missed here. One person was suggesting a way to pass the time if you CHOOSE not to observe every second of practice, others were saying they CHOOSE to watch practice. Personal CHOICE. The iPod is a suggested accessory to one option, not the option itself - bring something to occupy your time if you choose not to watch or aren't allowed to watch practices.

Honestly - it's not bad advice, and MomMomMamaMom gave similar advice. It was just the wording of the post that was off-putting, like it's no big deal to drop the equivalent of my rent on a toy to kill time with. I know she didn't mean anything with the way she phrased it, and I know her advice was given with everyone's best interests at heart, I just think MomMomMamaMom phrased the advice a little bit better. I can see how it can comes across a little insensitive, rather than saying "If you can afford it, I would recommend investing in an ipad..."

Anyway :deadhorseas seems to be happening a lot so far this summer) and I'm not a mom, so I'll step out of this thread now.

 

[sltAL]

I read through the entire thread and have to say that I can honestly understand every poster's position on being a cheer mom. I had to go back and search for this one because I wanted to give my perspective on kids who are involved in other activities besides all-star cheer. And believe me, I completely understand about athletes missing practices and how frustrating it is. At our gym, 95% of the girls also do school cheer but our gym owner does a fantastic job of taking into consideration the respective school schedules.

I have 2 CPs, one is on our Sr4 team and is also on her high school JV cheer squad. My youngest is on our Jr4 team and is on her middle school cheer squad... and they both play the viola in their respective school orchestras. My oldest is going on her 5th competitive season and her 3rd year of school cheer and this will be her 6th year as a member of the orchestra. The money that I spend on these 3 activities is crazy... that's why we still drive older model cars!

Neither of my girls have missed more than 2 practices a year, and they were always excused absences. My oldest missed her very first competition this year because we had already paid for her to go on the orchestra trip, which was scheduled months in advance, and the competition was added at the last minute. The coach was aware of this conflict and had plenty of time to find a replacement for her.

In my opinion, I believe that kids can particiate in other activities besides all-star cheer... you just have to be super organized and communicate with everyone well in advance of any conflicts. I will continue to support my CPs in these 3 activities as long as they both enjoy it and they continue to keep their grades up.

I totally feel you on all this! I think it's great if you can do more than one sport/activity. I really wish my daughter could. When we did ball we were cheering in town, so she could leave the ballfield, change in the car, and make it to practice. It was the flip to the 3 hour drive that ended it for us. It was a hard decision, but she drove us insane begging to do it.

My gripe is about the kids who sign up knowing that they will miss every Sunday practice until February, or can never come to Tuesday practice because of dance, or they have Show Choir so they will miss 2 of the 7 comps for that and then their family is going on a cruise to Alaska so they will actually miss 3 competitions (it happened, lol). I will admit- it drives me crazy.

And it seems like it's always the parents of those kids who raise the most hell when they're not on the front row for the entire routine.

 

[CheerBank]

I totally feel you on all this! I think it's great if you can do more than one sport/activity. I really wish my daughter could. When we did ball we were cheering in town, so she could leave the ballfield, change in the car, and make it to practice. It was the flip to the 3 hour drive that ended it for us. It was a hard decision, but she drove us insane begging to do it.

My gripe is about the kids who sign up knowing that they will miss every Sunday practice until February, or can never come to Tuesday practice because of dance, or they have Show Choir so they will miss 2 of the 7 comps for that and then their family is going on a cruise to Alaska so they will actually miss 3 competitions (it happened, lol). I will admit- it drives me crazy.

And it seems like it's always the parents of those kids who raise the most hell when they're not on the front row for the entire routine.

I think that has to do with the coach, the gym and their attendance policies though. It might be fine for a less competitive gym, or a less competitive team in a competitive gym, for kids to consistently miss a practice or a competition because of other activities, but the attendance policies should be established from the get go and if they cannot be followed then the kid needs to go to another team, another gym or gasp! make a choice between activities. It truly does get to the point eventually for most kids and families when you have to decide between cheer and other extra curricular activities or you are not giving any of them 100%.