All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

[NJ Coach]

Heads down, thumbs up


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[Labegg]

@ SheCheers:

NO, I totally understand that circumstances for some people dictate that their kids choose one sport.

What I am getting at is the mentality that today's society seems to expect that kids be "olympic" caliber, almost instantaneously upon picking up a sport or that you have to made a decision that this is "the" sport for you within a year of trying it and forego learning something else because you must be 100% into that sport. It is practically impossible to start learning a sport by the time you are 11 or 12 because you are so far behind those kids that have been playing since they were 7 you can't even make a team or if you do make a team those so called "dedicated" kids and parents are constantly questioning.

For example: my 15 year daughter plays competative soccer and has since she was 6. She always played center defender and goalie. This past year she switched clubs and her new coach decided to play her at forward. There was a big learning curve for her to switch from a defensive mindset to an offensive mindset and alot of sideline parent coaching at the games left her very frustrated. She also picked up Lacrosse for the first time this winter and all I heard on the sidelines when she missed a pass was " UUGGH she has got to catch that ball..." Hey, she had never played a day of Lacrosse in her life until November, sorry that the coach decided to "start" her and not your kid. The coach thought she had other field skills that compensated for her missing the ball every now and then. She is just learning the game and the fact that she is able to score 2 or 3 times in a game that she is just learning is pretty fantastic in my opinion. There is just doesn't seem to be any patience to allow kids time to learn a sport or decide if they like it before they pressured to "be the best". When she was younger she didn't really pay attention to what parents were shouting on the sideline or what teammates may have been whispering on the sideline but when they hit 11 or 12 that pressure really starts to build.

You know we see this mentality all the time in Cheer. People raise such a fuss when so and so makes the the team without having "x" tumble skill. Obviously the coach put them on a team for other reasons. Have some faith in the coaches have some faith in the athletes. Its not the end of the world if the team doesn't come in "first".

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

while we bleepity bleep bounce to dis

 

[CatFan22]

... But I will be there. Every possible moment that I can. For every skill, for every fall, for every smile, for every second that they love this, and for every second they don't.

I could shimmy this a million times. THIS is exactly why I sit in front of the window at (almost) every practice. People can poke fun about it all they want. I'm not ashamed of it at all. I love watching my girls every second they're out on the floor. And they love that I'm there watching them.

 

[tumbleyoda]

If their child doesn't put in the effort you still are and you should be paid for being a professional coach and treated accordingly by the child and parent. Personally I would love to afford private lessons even every once in a while. I am blessed that my kids are good at learning skills quick during their tumbling session - love their coach and wish I had the money for even semi privates. Very frustrating to those moms who realize that time and money both have value and to watch other parents throw it around and then treat coaches like they are their own personal babysitters.

I certainly understand and to some degree agree. However I personally choose from a customer service position to do it the way I do. I do this in the cases where I can see professionally that the child is just wasting time and the parents money. I gain more by being up front and honest with the child/parent than I do just taking their money knowing I am not able to produce what is reasonably expected. Usually after a month or so they come back and everything is fine. They just needed someone to show them in a loving manner that this is not acceptable behavior.

I also give away a lesson or two per month to those parents who may be struggling or if a child needs the extra help. Needless to say the majority of times my privates are booked solid up to two months in advance and my skill clinics/camps sell out in a day. It is not all because of my coaching and the results, but by the way I treat both the parent and child. Many parents have thanked me that I respected them enough to tell them to save their money for awhile from privates and just come to tumble class or open gym. They understand at the end of the day I am looking out for both of them.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

I am a coach and a mom and I push my child more. But she loves the sport and wants to improve. She is also a club soccer player. I've had advise to chose one sport or the other and since she's only 9 years old I think she needs to be able to be well rounded. Her soccer and her cheer in some ways compliment each other. Soccer gives her that endurance so she can perform 2:30 with ease and her cheer gives her that confidence, strength, and speed. She loves both so I see no reason to focus on just one. Since I'm a former cheer owner i would be heart broken if she chose soccer over cheer LOL ... but in the end she is very well rounded and a straight A student ....

Been there done that! :) It's not nearly as hard as you'd think. Good luck!

 

[lilmsthang75]

I have to say that I am a little of both. We have a 45 minute ride to practice but I not only have my 16 year old CP but my 7 year old son and my 1 year old daughter so the ipad really does come in handy and saves me money! LOL! But I am very interested in my daughters development in the sport not just because of the expense but because it is such a big part of who she is. It defines 10 years of her life. I want to make sure she is happy with her progress and that she has everything she nees to reach her cheer goals even if it is privates. I have gone on the mat for my child on many occasions to ensure that she is being heard by the coach because sometimes the coach can not see pass the small childlike frame to hear her very real concern. At the same time, I play my parental role in the gym. I am not on the team by any means.

 

[Labegg]

I understand what you're saying, but speaking only for my child, we did have to choose. She came to this sport 3 years ago not even knowing how to do a round off, after playing travel softball since she was 5. It was only supposed to be an intro tumble class during a 2 month softball break.

We did both the first two years, but it did get to the point that we had to make a decision. Not just for her- but for her teammates. It was not fair to her teams for her to miss practices, ballgames, or competitions. We make a 3 hour round trip drive to cheer and it doesn't leave a lot of time to do other things. Even if we were close by, there would still be problems.

We pay so much money to do this, and I will admit that it really ruffles my feathers when we can't practice stunts or the pyramid because the same kids repeatedly miss practices because they want to play volleyball, do school cheer, be on the track team, try out for drama, etc. You know the amount of commitment it takes when you sign up for this very expensive sport. In my opinion, if you can't fulfill that commitment to your team, you shouldn't sign up.

I realize that is probably not what you're talking about- if your kid is able to do multiple sports without missing practices, games, or competitions, then I think that is great and should be encouraged. It has just never worked out that way for the cheer teams we've been on. There is always conflict. And it almost always drives our coaches insane.

Sorry for the mini-rant. Nothing personal and I didn't mean this to be aimed at you. I'm mainly just griping about some of the parents/kids in our gym lol. :)

I am totally with you on on the committment. ;) If you can't make it work schedule wise, you have to choose. Believe me, I do my best to ensure that there are no schedule problems. If you make the committment to be on the team you should be there for practices/games/competitions. (Particularly in cheer, because there is no one else to step in for you in stunts etc!). However, on the flip side don't have a fit if a kid misses 1 or 2 practices in an entire (1 year) season because they are playing in a band concert or playing in an important game for a different sport. DO have a fit if there is blantant abuse!:)

 

[cheermommaRN]

I have been watching this thread but didn't feel the need to comment until someone mentioned the fact that there is a lot of cheer parents out there that have no idea what other families go through to participate in this sport. That is why I am such a HUGE proponent for making cheer accessible to all kids and not just the select few that can pay for it. I personally think the price of this sport is out of control. For example choreography...a team of 27 girls pays $250 each...that is roughly $6700. For choreography that more than likely will be changed three months into the season. I know our gym gets the choreographer for one day so that guy is making over $2000/hr!! This to me is ridiculous.
We don't do regular privates either, my cp missed her banquet because we couldn't do that and pay for tryouts/practice clothes. I worked two jobs for years until I got injured and was told I couldn't do it anymore. Now my dh inspects foreclosed homes a few times a week to help pay for it. I just wish gyms out there would realize that for every Southlake/Plano mom that comes in and slaps down her gold card there is 10 of us moving heaven and earth for our child to be on their floor.
I especially can't stand this idea that not only should I be shelling out my life savings but I should pull up to the curb, drop my child and come back in 2 hours. No other sport have I seen this kind of attitude towards parents. My 8 year old has done select soccer and little league and I have never been told I have to wait in my car, and I pay them a fraction of what I pay for cheer.
My opinion is...as a coach or owner you signed up for this. Cheer parents have always had their "crazy apples" so when you started your gym you knew that you might have to deal with some of them. If you think they are so out of control then close your practice.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

My best advice is to listen to Moms that have been around awhile.

I had great potential to be "that Mom" and even tipped to the dark-side once in awhile but was blessed to have had some people here that quickly pointed out my crazy moments. Read everyone's posts, not just the ones that justify what you are already doing or feeling. Some of the Moms that are getting "bashed" here are some of the most sane and experienced ones I know.

 

[CD FOREVER AND EVA!]

Been there done that! :) It's not nearly as hard as you'd think. Good luck!

I hope she gets use to it ... I also have to drag along my almost 2 yr old son

 

[Labegg]

Speaking of a commitment... My CP was once on a Junior 2 team where two of the kids didn't show up for the last competition of the season (it was out of town) because they had a birthday party to attend. Really?

So, my advice to gym moms... If you kids asked to be on the team...its your job to make sure they get there!

 

[CD FOREVER AND EVA!]

I have been watching this thread but didn't feel the need to comment until someone mentioned the fact that there is a lot of cheer parents out there that have no idea what other families go through to participate in this sport. That is why I am such a HUGE proponent for making cheer accessible to all kids and not just the select few that can pay for it. I personally think the price of this sport is out of control. For example choreography...a team of 27 girls pays $250 each...that is roughly $6700. For choreography that more than likely will be changed three months into the season. I know our gym gets the choreographer for one day so that guy is making over $2000/hr!! This to me is ridiculous.
We don't do regular privates either, my cp missed her banquet because we couldn't do that and pay for tryouts/practice clothes. I worked two jobs for years until I got injured and was told I couldn't do it anymore. Now my dh inspects foreclosed homes a few times a week to help pay for it. I just wish gyms out there would realize that for every Southlake/Plano mom that comes in and slaps down her gold card there is 10 of us moving heaven and earth for our child to be on their floor.
I especially can't stand this idea that not only should I be shelling out my life savings but I should pull up to the curb, drop my child and come back in 2 hours. No other sport have I seen this kind of attitude towards parents. My 8 year old has done select soccer and little league and I have never been told I have to wait in my car, and I pay them a fraction of what I pay for cheer.
My opinion is...as a coach or owner you signed up for this. Cheer parents have always had their "crazy apples" so when you started your gym you knew that you might have to deal with some of them. If you think they are so out of control then close your practice.

I agree totally. I was a gym owner now "JUST" a cheer mom (such an understatement). But I always tried to keep costs down and its just plain hard to do. Also, I was the passionate gym owner that would give out scholarships to those in need of help (mostly lower level kids). I ended up selling my gym to friends who in turn never paid me and again being a good friend gave them time to get the money together (now 4 years later). I basically gave away my gym for FREE.

I work for CHEER and SOCCER. So that my daughter can do what she loves. Also, I know the difficulty of being on the other side of owner/cheer mom.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

I hope she gets use to it ... I also have to drag along my almost 2 yr old son

My CP did both sports (Classic Soccer and AS Cheer) for three years. By the end of year three she had broken a thumb, broken a wrist, and had a torn patella tendon all within 8 weeks of each other. Her body just couldn't take it. I'm not saying it can't be done but look for the signs that it might be time to make a decision. I should have insisted she quit before the last year. I could already see it was taking too much out of her but she wanted to keep going. It cost her the final 2 competitions with her AS team. Good luck and enjoy!

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I just wish gyms out there would realize that for every Southlake/Plano mom that comes in and slaps down her gold card there is 10 of us moving heaven and earth for our child to be on their floor.
I especially can't stand this idea that not only should I be shelling out my life savings but I should pull up to the curb, drop my child and come back in 2 hours.

Yes to all of it! But especially the part above. I'm fortunate enough that we are at a gym that more than understands how much heaven and earth moving it takes for some of us to make this happen.

CharlotteASMom I hear you. And I do hear other people, I'm just funny when I feel like someone is trying to say I'm doing it wrong. Like I said before, it's all in HOW you say it.