All-Star It Gets Better...tell Your Story & Take The Pledge

[Mom Jeans]

as an example of things getting better...I live in a really conservative area, well the parents are...the kids luckily have their own opinions...our school has a gay/straight alliance and it makes me happy for one that the staff supports it and the kids support it. Its a win win for everyone. Ive asked my kids if its a big deal to see gay couples hold hands and nope...its not an issue..(we have other issues. haha)...things can get better=)

 

[Drkilluzionz]

I turn 26 this week. I am telling my dad this weekend abut my sexuality. Its been hidden from him since I came out to my mom. Here goes nothing.

I cant help but wish you the best...

 

[Seeker30]

Ive never really told anybody my coming out story and I wrote, erased, and re-wrote. And im still shaking.
In 8th grade I had a girlfriend whom I paid no attention too; I thought why doesn’t this feel right? It was toward the end of that year I started to realize that I was attracted to men. I no longer had a girlfriend it was that summer about to start high school it was my identical twin brother, 3 child hood friends (all 3 boys), and I we were sitting in the front of the house and I built the courage to tell them that I think I like boys. They were so confused as was i. so we all go inside the house and they were questioning me. I thought I was like the only one in the city and they asked why I thought that and I wasn’t quite sure but I answered everything I could, they loved me no matter what they were so cool with it except for one person. . . my twin brother. After that going in to ninth grade I was openly gay and found my first boyfriend in high school, when I met him I felt like it was perfect. Like I was meant to love another man At that point my brother and I couldn’t get along. It was so hard for him to believe he got kicked out of school cause someone asked him if he was related to the ‘fa*ot’ so he fought. I found a death threat in my backpack one time so I was transferred to another school as well. It was the beginning of my 9th grade year and I felt like I was the worst person in the world. The new school I went to was a more openly gay environment I enjoyed it so much. I met another student there whom I thought was gay but wasn’t he was a cheerleader and he asked me to come to practice one time with him after school so I did, I enjoyed every second of cheerleading I wanted to stunt forever. So I joined the team at a park and my friend and I then became really close I didn’t realize that I was helping him feel comfortable enough to come out of the closet but he did. It took some time but he came out and is the happiest person ever. It was my junior year my grandparents had no idea I was gay my parents didn’t want to ask me. Till one time I just sat with my mom and my aunts and just cried for like 15 minutes. And then finally got it together and told them they said they were okay with it but they weren’t it was a joke my mom always asked me if I was sure and she constantly reminded me that she wont have grand children from me. And that if they legalize gay marriage she wouldn’t go. Why couldn’t I be like my brother. So that was over with my moms trust. So I try to tell my dad about 3 months later and well he literally left the country the next week and hasn’t talked to me since, I was adopted by my grandparents so I thought I shouldn’t tell them considering the luck I had with my biological parents they were just the test. So I didn’t tell them i wanted a new life again so I asked to be sent back to my home school and I had to get approved considering why I left I told them I wasn’t afraid they sent a cop with me to every class the first day embarrassing first day of senior year I still looked at everyday and thought it could be worse. I cheered my senior year to get my mind off things and it worked up until second semester my brother came back to live with my family and I cause he was sent to a housing in a diff city. My brother and I got in to a physical fight that night that lasted about 2 mins mins and my grandma finally came in the room and said to take it outside so we proceeded to fight I was a trainwreck I didn’t want to hit my brother but he wanted to take all his anger on me. So finally my grandma asked why we were fighting and my brother told me to tell them and I couldn’t think of anything I didn’t know why we were fighting and he said ‘why don’t you tell them that you’re a fag***t’ my grandma and grandpa looked at me and asked me if it was true and I told my brother to stop but I looked at my grandma and said yeah its true. My grandpa looked at me and said ‘not in this house, you can get your things and leave’ I didn’t have anywhere to go. I left everything I had there I was homeless for 2 days then I finally moved in with a family member of my mother. I went back to school and nothing was the same I lost my entire family and I thought I had nothing to live for my grandparents called me and apologized they had 9 kids adopted 2 took care of a lot of grandkids and one was openly gay! I got a job dropped out of school cause I couldn’t afford to go to school and try and pay rent and keep up with everything. My grandparents kept asking me to go back I couldn’t though I couldn’t trust anyone. Then eventually the more I started working the more I needed to pay for around the house so I went back to my grandparents. No one talked to me for a year except my grandparents I wasn’t welcomed at thanksgiving so I worked I wasn’t welcomed for Christmas so I added myself to work then my job told me I have to rest for new years cause I worked thanksgiving and Christmas but luckily I found someone who didn’t wanna work that night so I added it too. My life freaking sucked and I still thought to my self it could be worse! There was points in my life where I wanted to kill my self but everytime I thought of it I told myself No One likes me if it’s a punishment for them to see my presence then I should live another day to prove to them that I am stronger then they will ever be! i never think about the negative things I am loved by so many people, and have the best support system I could ever ask for everyday I do something I think there’s always someone saying I cant and I know I can cause ive came this far and there is no way im letting anything get In my way. I am forever grateful now for everything my grandparents have done I don’t hold them accountable for what they did considering they’re old and they knew nothing about raising a gay son. Ive never ever in a million years thought that I would be sharing this story with anyone I was so hesitant to write this but the other day I had ‘someone’ (for lack of a better title) come to me for advice on how I coped with the negativity in my life I told him my story and he said that I completely saved his life. That changed my mind im not embarrassed to tell what happen I just fear that I would be looked at differently I never want for anyone to feel bad for me we all go through life differently and that’s just how my life turned out but trust me IT DOES GET BETTER!

 

[Aussiekat]

@Seeker30 Thank you for sharing your story, you made me tear up (and maybe dribble a little rainbow puke towards the end). You are a beautiful person and I hope that through your strength many other young men and women gain the courage to live their lives openly and truly happy.

 

[Num1Stunta]

I turn 26 this week. I am telling my dad this weekend abut my sexuality. Its been hidden from him since I came out to my mom. Here goes nothing.

Good luck, buddy My girlfriend just turned 30 and finally came out to her Dad in July. She was so nervous, and I told her the same thing I'll tell you. Our own fear about it causes us to build up a huge amount of stress and anxiety, when really once you tell him, it's probably not going to be as bad as you're imagining. One of two things is going to happen: 1- you tell him, he accepts you, and you no longer have to carry around the stress of living with that secret OR 2- you tell him, he doesn't accept you, it will be difficult, but ultimately you are atill not having to carry around the stress of living with the secret. Hopefully, all goes well, but if it doesnt, you have to be able to step back and look at who you are and what you do in life and still be proud of it <3

 

[ufomom]

I was going to post on the opposite from watching two old parents accept a gay son, but the other poster kinda of shut me down. But I am going to post anyway. I have watched both sides of this happen over a 20ish year period. It started with outright rejection of the idea of gay (but not the son). But the rejection was pretty offensive.. I came to realize that as I watched the process work that they were in some ways just really grieving the idea of their dream of a son with a family and kids and so on. BUT, they loved their son, and he continued to push nicely...meaning instead of hiding being gay as he had for many years, he would talk about his life and friends and so on. Their minds opened a crack. Then he started introducing friends and such. And I could see them realizing, 'hey, these are some great people.' I'll bring the story to a close with there was a wedding that the parents joyously attended and we are just one big happy family now. Opps, I guess I outed him. Oh well. Maybe the wedding pictures would have done that.

At any rate, what I saw was two really conservative people change over time. In some ways, they had to be pulled and in others they had to be pushed, but it can happen. Are they perfect, no. But then again, no one is. @canttouchthis ...I think your mom will come around. She too is at the beginning of a journey. Trust me, I know she is thinking about you all the time.

 

[Num1Stunta]

Sorry to thread hog... but, I realized I didn't share my coming out story for my family... it's funny, I'll keep it short

My sister, by virtue of going to the same high school as me, had known I was a homo before my parents did. She annoyed me for months to tell them, insisting that I tell them or else she would. They came to visit me one weekend at college, about a month into my freshman year, and I had decided that that would be the time I was going to tell them. All of my gay friends gave me advice to do it in a public place, so I chose the classy establishment known as Ponderosa Steakhouse. So, while enjoying our $7.99 a person buffet, my sister was kicking me under the table, trying to get me to say it. So, in my nervousness, this is what came out of my mouth:

"So, you know how I love going to school here? It's cuz I'm gay and everyone accepts me.... this macaroni is bland, can you pass the salt?"

About 5 seconds of silence followed, during which, my parents looked at each other, then at me... my Dad reaches for the salt, puts it on the table in front of me, and says "So, what took you so long to tell us?" followed by my mother "We've known for a while, probably before you did." LOL

They've always been supportive of that aspect of my life (moreso than the time and money I've spent on coaching in the past, ironically enough)... my Mom buys me gay shirts and has an HRC sticker on the back of her car. She is bffs with a gay guy at work, and the two of them gossip about all of my lesbian characteristics. My Dad tried relentlessly to set me up on a date with one of his female co-workers, and once commented on a Girl's Gone Wild commercial "Hey, we should get that." (Welcome to my life lol) They love my girlfriend, and we probably spend 2 nights a week with them, going to dinner or watching a movie, or whatever. My girlfriend's Mom lives 4 hours away from us, but we see her 1-2 times a month. She calls me often, and posts love notes on my facebook lol

I think neither of our parents really knew what a long term "lesbian relationship" would look like, but now that they see we are no different than they are, it feels comfortable to them. Actually, I would maintain that we're better lol... My girlfriend and I pack each other coffee, breakfast, lunch, and snacks for work every day. We cook dinner together, we shop together, we build furniture together, we do laundry together, we go to the same drs appts, take turns driving places, etc. Everything is balanced and equal, and I don't know that many hetero couples have something quite like that.

 

[Giselle]

 

[Mom Jeans]

I turn 26 this week. I am telling my dad this weekend abut my sexuality. Its been hidden from him since I came out to my mom. Here goes nothing.

Just Breathe....you'll be fine. Sounds like they have a lot to proud about=)

 

[k.woow]

I turn 26 this week. I am telling my dad this weekend abut my sexuality. Its been hidden from him since I came out to my mom. Here goes nothing.

Good luck my friend!. Text me

 

[canttouchthis]

@Seeker30 damn you! i told my self i wouldnt cry when i opened this thread and you made me do it!

 

[canttouchthis]

i guess i didnt really explain family but i told my brother first and he is married and has a child, surprisingly both of them are bisexual and have had previous same sex relationships. my brother much older than me, i was suprised. i then told my oldest sister shes is very conservative and she said she loved me all the same and that she already knew. she even got a "stop the bullying" sticker on her car. i cried at that. i told my older sister even though she is the youngest of all my other siblings and she didnt care but she kinda thinks its a faze but i think she realizes now its not. (my family is Japanese) i told my aunt and she didnt care but she as well thought it was a faze but she knows now, i didnt tell my uncle but he wouldnt care at all his wifes nephew is gay and they love him! i didnt tell my grandmother because she wouldnt understand it and i cant speak enough Japanese to explain it. i could tell my grandfather but he wouldnt care hes wayy liberal. its funny my whole family is pretty liberal (on my moms side) but my mom is sooo conservative. she doesnt like it and she doesnt believe im gay but thats her issue not mine. my dad could care less he laughs with me and cracks jokes about it and he is very open to talk to about it. his side of the family not so much. there all super southern although i think they know they just dont say anything about it. but no one knows on his side other than his wife at the moment. so like i said before i have a super easy life which i am very thankful about and i encourage everyone to post here and be honest. no h8 just love <3

 

[Giselle]

If you YouTube 'FCKH8' there are a bunch of light and funny videos on their page about gay rights and things. Most of them are a little vulgar which is why I'm not posting them but I think they do a great job at disproving many ideas people have about the gay community. Ya'll should check them out. They also have an apparel site where some if the proceeds go to fighting for gay rights. It's FCKH8.com

 

[icecheermom]

At work with tears in my eyes...I'm 33 and I remember kids in high school were teased SO bad for being gay. No one ever came out but you could just tell. I know society deals with it a little more now then back then but obviously we still have a long way to go. Sometimes I wonder if my 5 year old is gay. Am I crazy for thinking that way? If he is I totally would not care, because I love him unconditionally but I think his dads side of the family would freak. Thank you all for sharing your stories. NOH8 <3 u all!!

 

[Hodiestoe]

This never gets old: 'So that means you love each other...ok, I'm going to play ping pong now' Brilliant!!

I turn 26 this week. I am telling my dad this weekend abut my sexuality. Its been hidden from him since I came out to my mom. Here goes nothing.

Good luck, I hope it goes really well for you. I'm sure I speak for us all here when I say we have your back...come and let us know how you got on. Celebrate or let us pick you up, I hope it's a celebration, I could do with a good celebration :chestbump: