I don't have a bad story, or a good one, I guess both?
Maybe surprising..?
Since I was a kid, I've kissed boys, I've touched them (I have very vivid memories of things happening at age 7/8 that shouldn't have at that age), but I never could put a label on it, not at 8. Back then girls still had cooties, so I never thought it was weird that I wasn't interested in them. Hey, the first time I saw a girl naked (with my best friend, online, while my parents' backs were turned of course) I got a little.. well.. yeah, but Idk, something was always different, I always looked at my guy friends a little differently.
In grade 7, I became REALLY close with a girl, and we talked about everything. This is around the time I first started to identify what I was feeling, although I was still dating girls. I told her that I "thought I was bi" and she was okay with it, so I began telling other friends. By the middle of 8th grade, everyone in the school knew, one of my cousins knew, and my sister's best friend (who was basically a sister to me) knew. I never had the courage to tell my parents. They'd always joked, always used the f word loosely, always made it seem like a bad thing, so I didn't have the courage. At the end of grade 8, I became interested in cheer (of course, not telling my parents), and began to look at old cheer videos. Through grade 9, I became obsessed, and watched cheer videos religiously, and went to 3 verrrrry small competitions near me. I was convinced to try out, along with another guy at my school, tried out, and made it. The ride home that night was awkward, I had to tell my mom I made the cheerleading team (keep in mind, I'm from a small town, cheerleading was ALWAYS a girl's sport here). She automatically said "don't only girls and gay boys do that?" and I assured her that, no, in fact some of the best cheerleaders in the world were straight, and proceeded to show her Top Gun's 2008 Worlds video.
Fast forward to October of grade 10. It was pretty commonly known in school that I was gay, I'd get made fun of, pushed, hit, etc. but it was never THAT bad. I have a thick skin, I can deal with it. I started dating a guy who was in the closet, and he came out, and when he came out to his parents, they hated him, so I lost all confidence. He came over one day (I skipped school to hang out with him, he was 4 years older and no longer in high school) and I thought we'd be home alone. Well.. we were... and my mom walked in. That night she pulled me into her bedroom and we had a conversation, she assured me that neither her nor my dad cared, and my sister had told them she heard from a friend that I was, and that there was such a thing as bisexuality, phases, etc. I told her it's not a phase, I'm not bi, I'm gay.
In the summer of 2009, my ex (who I mentioned earlier in this post) began dating a guy who I was basically in love with. It led to insane amounts of partying and trying illegal substances. I hid from every person in my life why I was trying these drugs, in fact most people didn't know I was, and to this day don't know it ever happened. I looked at that as the way out.
Over the years, I've found a lot of happiness in cheer, in music, and in writing, and when I'm upset, I'll look to one of the 3, nowadays it has become writing. I have (thankfully) survived multiple suicide attempts, and would never be the strong and confident person I am today without what I'd been through.
I'm so happy that all these people on this thread could share their stories, it truly does allow some insight for maybe a few people who don't understand, or (like me) didn't expect them from some of the users on here, afterall we only see screen names and a small picture.
P.s, my whole family knows now, except my younger cousin (who I think has figured it out by having me on Facebook). We decided not to tell him because of his age, him being impressionable (even though I'm 100% against people who say you can "turn" gay, his parents believe otherwise), but the rest of the family knows. The person on Earth I'm closest with now is my other cousin, who is also gay, and I'm probably the luckiest person on Earth to have the most supportive family.
