At the end of the day, it is up to each family to make a decision that is best for their athletes. I am not sure ethics are even at play here; if a situation is not best for a family, they have the right and responsibility to choose an appropriate setting. There could be any number of reasons why this might occur, including basic geography. My point is, it really should not matter. When all is said and done, regardless of what a program offers, it is the family who makes the choice. No one is forcing anyone to do anything.
As for the question of scholarships and incentives, that is a business decision, and it is solely the business of the business owners.
I also don't see why a gym can't market themselves any way they choose, or why families are under any scrutiny for their choices. If they lose respect or gain it via whatever means they employ, that is on them, and they will be the ones affected by the choices. I happen to love to see as many talented teams as possible in a division; it makes the victories sweeter, and the challenges greater. And we all know that healthy challenge breeds a positive work ethic and higher athleticism, and that is why my child is involved in competitive cheerleading in the first place.
When you think about it, it really isn't all that different than schooling choices. I teach in a magnet program that loses and gains students to similar programs, as well as charter schools and home schooling. When families choose to leave, we wish them well, and we reflect often, as a staff, what we can offer to retain our current students as well as attract high degree of incoming students. I would hope no one would consider us shady or unethical for trying to make our program competitive and attractive to prospective families.
